"Shaken, not Stirred" by DJ Clawson First draft - 8/5/98 Final draft - 1/10/99 Edited by Rygar 1/1/04 SCENE 1 - THE RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION CAPTAIN BUCKY O'HARE and FIRST MATE JENNY are sitting in their respective chairs, relaxed and involved in their own magazines. Bucky has his feet up on the panel. JENNY Slow day, Bucky. BUCKY (engrossed in magazine) Uh-huh. There is a short silence before a load beeping breaks it. Bucky nonchalantly puts his magazine down and hits the comm-link activator. On the screen, COMMANDER DOGSTAR's face appears. DOGSTAR Captain O'Hare. Are you free? Bucky tosses Jenny a glance and then looks back at the screen. BUCKY What's the problem? DOGSTAR There's been a crash of a military supply cruiser on Toxus IV. BUCKY Anyone injured? DOGSTAR No, but they still require assistance, and the Security Council wants the ship salvaged as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I'm currently engaged elsewhere with my ship, and I figured you were closer. BUCKY Toxus IV. That's in Sector Eight, right? (turns to Jenny) Aren't we in Sector Eight? JENNY Yes, Captain. BUCKY (back to Dogstar) You can tell the Security Council we'll take care of it immediately. DOGSTAR Thank you. Good luck, Captain O'Hare. (salutes) Dogstar out. Dogstar terminates the transmission. BUCKY Set a course for Toxus IV. JENNY Aye-aye, Captain. SCENE 2 - TOXUS IV The Righteous Indignation lands on the surface of the dark, desolate planet. Beside it is the remains of a large cruiser, somewhat imbedded in the dusty surface. Near the ship float a few scattered fluorescent blue, jellyfish- like creatures that hover a couple feet above the ground and radiate with a faint blue light. Inside their mushroom-like heads are arrays of bright colors and shapes. They head toward the Righteous. SCENE 3 - CRUISER Several tired and worn mammals are standing outside the launch bay as the airlock opens and Bucky and ENGINEER WILLY DUWITT emerge in their spacesuits. They both remove their helmets as Bucky lends a paw out to greet one of the mammals, a gray FOX. FOX Did the Security Council send you? BUCKY Yes, I'm Captain Bucky O'Hare of the Righteous Indignation. (gesturing to Willy) And this is Engineer DuWitt. We're here to assist you getting your cruiser back off this planet. FOX It's a pleasure to meet you, Captain. When we sent out that distress call, we didn't expect to be rescued by a space hero. Bucky smiles, and the fox continues. FOX I'm Captain Rogers of the Galactia. We were en route to Betelgeusia when we were attacked by a toad double bubble squadron and crashed into this planet. Fortunately, we landed with enough of an explosion that they assumed we had perished inside and left us alone. (beat) Unfortunately, the crash took out most of our main engines, and our engineer is still unconscious from breathing too much of some escaped gas. BUCKY But you still think there's a chance you can salvage the ship? ROGERS With a little work, yes. BUCKY Good. That's why I brought Willy ... Bucky turns around to see Willy not paying attention, instead totally captivated by the appearance of three more jellyfish creatures in the bay. ROGERS Oh, those things. (scratches head) Can't seem to figure out what those things are. Tried every creature listing in the database and didn't come up with anything. They're everywhere in the ship, but they appear to be harmless. WILLY They're ... beautiful. Bucky rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers in front of Willy's face, and the engineer snaps back to attention. WILLY Sorry. (readjusting his glasses) What did you want me to fix? ROGERS (pulls over a wolf) Gordon will show you to engineering. Willy follows the wolf, GORDON, out of the bay and deeper into the ship. Bucky turns back to Rogers. BUCKY Please excuse my engineer. Sometimes he just gets ... distracted easily. (beat) We'll bring your crew onto the Righteous so you can contact whoever you want and get checked out in case anyone's injured. ROGERS Thanks, Captain. Bucky leads them out the doors. SCENE 4 - CRUISER Most of the large engine room is in shambles, burned or smashed from pieces having been tossed around in the crash. Willy is bent down on his knees, working on reattaching some singed wiring, when Jenny enters. WILLY (looks up) Hi, Jenny. How's it going? JENNY The crew's fine. The engineer should be awake in the next few hours, if you want some help. WILLY It would be appreciated. This looks like it's gonna take quite a while. Most of the wiring is burned out. Jenny watches as another group of jellyfish float in and work their way around the room. WILLY They're cool, aren't they? JENNY I've never seen anything like them. (blinks) No, wait, I have. WILLY Really? JENNY I think, once ... in a book I read in the Great Library on Aldebaran. I don't remember much about them. WILLY Wanna see something cool? Willy gets up, walks over to one of the jellyfish, and wipes his finger across its mushroom head. Holding up his finger to Jenny, she can see the remnants of a blue grease that makes his finger glow for a few seconds before extinguishing. JENNY Willy ... I don't think you should be near those things. WILLY Why not? Captain Rogers said they were harmless. JENNY (firmly) I ... have a bad feeling about them, Willy. (watches as more enter the room) I'm going to put a call in to Aldebaran and see what I can find. Until then, promise me you'll stay away from them. WILLY OK, I promise. JENNY Good. Keep working. I'll check on you later. Jenny leaves, slightly relieved. Willy goes back to his work, trying to ignore the rising numbers of jellyfish congregating in the room. SCENE 5 - THE RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION Later that night, GUNNER DEADEYE DUCK is cleaning his guns in the main bay when Jenny climbs down hurriedly from piloting. JENNY Deadeye, have you seen the Captain or Willy? DEADEYE Nope. The Cap'n's with Cap'n Rogers on the Galactia. JENNY And Willy? DEADEYE He hasn't been back, so 'e's probably still ... JENNY ... on the ship. With those maleks. DEADEYE Those what? Jenny grabs him by one of his arms and tugs him toward the main hatch. JENNY The jellyfish. C'mon, I'll explain on the way. The two of them throw on their space helmets and leave the ship. Outside, a large number of maleks have congregated and are entering the ship. DEADEYE I thought Rogers said he couldn't find 'em in any reference book ... JENNY That's because he didn't check any Aldebaran reference book. So I put a call in at home, and they just called me back. And if I'm right, anyone exposed to those things is in a lot of danger. DEADEYE What do they do? JENNY They ... (stops) It's hard to explain. Just trust me on this one. Hurriedly, Jenny and Deadeye enter the launch bay of the Galactia and look around, finding it empty. DEADEYE The Cap'n and the crew would probably be on the bridge. JENNY And Willy's in engineering. But he was the one the maleks were watching -- they're probably using him. We have to find him first. They run down the passageway in the direction of engineering. DEADEYE (running) Usin' him? Fer what? JENNY Maleks feed off of thoughts and emotions. In small doses, it doesn't do any damage to the host, but many of them together could wear down the host and kill it. DEADEYE But why Willy? JENNY I don't know. Maybe they wanted to taste a human. The hatch slides open automatically, and Jenny and Deadeye gasp at the hundreds of maleks now crammed in engineering. Willy is still beside the panel he was working at, his eyes unfixed and his body unmoving. He appears to be in some sort of a trance. JENNY Oh my stars! (calling out over the masses of maleks) Willy! Willy does not respond. Deadeye draws his blasters. DEADEYE Step aside, Jenny. Old Deadeye'll take care o' this ... Before Deadeye fires, Jenny puts her paw out to stop him. JENNY Stop it! If you kill the maleks while they feed off Willy, you could destroy his mind. DEADEYE Then what do we do, lassie? JENNY We have to get to him somehow. DEADEYE (eyeing maleks) Sorry to disappoint ye, but I'm not much of the flyin' type. JENNY Then we'll just have to push through. Jenny begins to force her way through the crowd of maleks. Deadeye grabs onto her arm. DEADEYE Be careful, lassie. You don't want ta ... As Jenny and Deadeye brush up against the maleks, they are hit with a bright flash of white light, and the room around them disappears. SCENE 6 - UNKNOWN When the light recedes, Jenny blinks and looks around. The feel of Deadeye's paw on her arm is the only thing familiar. She is in a bright, fancy room with red flower-patterned carpets and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. All around are well-dressed people, mainly adult humans, sitting at the tables, playing cards and drinking from tall glasses. Looking down at herself, Jenny realizes her spacesuit is gone and she is dressed in a silver-sequined, low-cut evening gown. Her hair is shorter and styled up, and she is wearing earrings. DEADYE Ah ... Jenny ... Jenny spins around to see Deadeye. He is dressed in an expensive- looking gray suit and matching hat. His headphones and blasters are gone, the latter replaced by a type of smooth, black metal blaster Jenny has never seen before. DEADEYE ... where are we? Jenny looks up, noticing on the wall a sign. Though her ability to read human characters is poor, she is able to make out a word. JENNY Ca ... sino. I think we're in a casino. DEADEYE We must be in Willy's dimension. Jenny notices the presence of several aniversian mammals intermingling naturally with the crowd. JENNY No ... Willy said his dimension only has humans as intelligent life forms ... at least, intelligent enough to gamble. DEADEYE Then where are ... Jenny holds up a paw to stop him. JENNY If the maleks were feeding off of Willy's thoughts, they must have picked up ... this scene somewhere. DEADEYE Then how did they get *us* into it? JENNY Our real bodies are probably still aboard the Galactia, but our consciousnesses appear to be ... in whatever they picked up from Willy. DEADEYE I didn't know Willy liked to gamble. He never seemed to be much of a bettin' guy. (thinks) Wait, I think I recognize this scene from somewhere. JENNY Where? DEADEYE A movie ... JENNY (eagerly) What movie? DEADEYE It was one of Willy's movies ... we watched it in his room once. I think it was called ... (scratches his head) Something about jewels lasting a long time ... (thinks) "Jewels Are Forever," or something. JENNY What was it about? DEADEYE I didn't understand most of it, but it was about this guy, and 'e fought these spies for these jewels ... JENNY That doesn't help us much. DEADEYE How do we get out of here? JENNY My guess is, we have to stop the maleks from feeding on Willy. DEADEYE How? JENNY We could wake him up. (looking around) But first, we have to find him. DEADEYE Aw, Jenny, he could be anywhere ... Deadeye and Jenny suddenly hear a voice which Deadeye recognizes, and they slowly look back over their shoulders at the table behind him. Standing there in a tuxedo, dealing cards for blackjack, is SEAN CONNERY. DEADEYE That's the guy from the movie! Jenny shushes them and they approach the table. Sean is talking to the human in the tuxedo sitting at the table, who is, by all appearances, Willy. He is much taller, without his glasses, and has his hair neatly slicked back. In one hand is a cigarette he is smoking. SEAN You have ten, and the dealer holds six. Do you take a hit, Mr. DuWitt? Willy speaks in a much lower voice and with a slight British accent. WILLY Hit me. Sean hands him the cards and flips them over. SEAN You win again, Mr. DuWitt. Willy coolly takes his earnings and begins to stack to chips up neatly. Jenny and Deadeye approach him as he takes a puff on his cigarette. JENNY Willy, could we speak with you? WILLY (a little surprised) Excuse me ... have we met? JENNY (whispers to Deadeye) He doesn't know us. DEADEYE What clued ye in? JENNY I think we'd better play along with this little fantasy if we want Willy to wake up. DEADEYE Let me handle this, lassie. I saw the movie. (turns to Willy, speaking in full volume) I'm ... uh, Agent Double-Oh ... uh ... WILLY (takes another puff) Double-Oh Two? The new agent from America? That's a terrible British accent, D, just so you know. DEADEYE Er ... right. JENNY (whispers to Deadeye) Seems like you fit right into this fantasy. DEADEYE (recovering) And this is my ... friend, Jenny. WILLY (smiles widely) I see. Willy takes her gloved paw and kisses it. WILLY Pleased to meet you ... Jenny. JENNY (surprised at how suave Willy is) Same here. Willy is about to say something when ROGER MOORE, wearing the same tuxedo as Sean, approaches Willy, carrying a tray with a telephone on it. ROGER Call for you, Mr. DuWitt. WILLY Thank you. (takes it) William here. Willy listens for a few moments before hanging up the phone. WILLY That was M. The diamonds are here. JENNY (to Deadeye) Was that the jewel you were thinking of? DEADEYE Yeah, that was it. WILLY (standing) Well, there's no time to lose. Willy leads Deadeye through the casino. He stops at the doorway, where the words "private" are written on a sign above it. Not hesitating, Willy steps through it. Jenny and Deadeye wordlessly follow. Inside is a large poker table. Around it are a familiar-looking gang: the AIR MARSHAL, AL NEGATOR, CAMELEOUS, and LUCAS MACARTHUR. All are wearing black suits or tuxedos. They are playing cards, but they all look up as Willy enters the room. Jenny and Deadeye decide to stay at the door and let him play this one out. The Air Marshal has an eye patch and speaks with a heavy Russian accent. AIR MARSHAL Welcome, Mr. DuWitt ... (smiling evilly) We were expecting you. Sit. The Air Marshal gestures toward an empty chair, and Willy takes a seat. WILLY You know I wouldn't miss a good game ... especially when the stakes are so high. The waiter, PIERCE BROSNAN, enters, carrying a tray. The Air Marshal signals to him. AIR MARSHAL We'll all take vodkas ... except Mr. DuWitt here, who will take a martini, shaken, not stirred. (dealing out new hands of cards) What do you feel like playing for, Double-Oh-Seven? WILLY I was thinking about ... diamonds. The others look at him, surprised, but the Air Marshal is unfazed. AIR MARSHAL I must compliment the British Intelligence Agency for their speediness ... but not their ability to assess the seriousness of the situation. WILLY (picking up his hand) You know me. I try never to be serious unless I have to be. AIR MARSHAL You're going to lose your life one day for your clever quips, DuWitt. WILLY I wouldn't have it any other way. (looking at his hand, casually) So are you willing to play for the diamonds, or am I wasting my time here? AIR MARSHAL How do you know I have them with me? WILLY That's a chance I'm willing to take. AIR MARSHAL (drawing a gun out of his pocket and holding it under the table) You think you're good at taking chances, DuWitt? WILLY Only when my chances of winning rely on the stupidity of my opponents. The Air Marshal, furious, draws his gun and aims at DuWitt's head. In a swift move, Willy stands and pushes the card table up and over at the Air Marshal. The toad fires, bullets piercing the table as it falls on top of him. Willy barely has time to draw his own gun before the others stand and turn on him. AIR MARSHAL (muffled by the table) Shoot him! Willy skillfully avoids the firepower as he makes his way around the room. Leaping over the fallen table, he scoops the Air Marshal up by his collar and points his gun at his head. AIR MARSHAL Don't shoot! The others stop firing. WILLY (to the Air Marshal) Now ... the diamonds! The Air Marshal reaches into his breast pocket and retrieves a small velvet bag. Willy stuffs it into his own pocket, keeping his gun pointing at the Air Marshal. Then, in a stunning display of acrobatics, he lets go of his captive, leaps over the table, and ducks back out the door. WILLY (to Jenny and Deadeye) Cover me! Deadeye draws his guns and fires at the group as they run out of the building. Narrowly avoiding the gunshots of the group behind them, they follow Willy out of the casino. As they run out, a long black limousine drives by, and the door opens. Willy jumps in, and Deadeye and Jenny leap in just as the limousine pulls away. DEADEYE Good job, Will ... er, Double-Oh-seven. WILLY Not really much of one, actually. JENNY (climbing into a seat) Why do you say that? Willy holds up the diamonds in his hand, which he has poured out of the velvet bag. WILLY They're not the real diamonds. SCENE 7 - BRITISH INTELLIGENCE HEADQUARTERS In a spare office room, CHAIRMAN FRITZ WARNER is sitting behind a large oak desk. Instead of his usual colorful clothing, he is wearing a dull and neat brown suit. The phone rings on his desk, and he picks it up. He speaks in a mild British accent. FRITZ M here. (beat) Yes, I know. I sent ... (beat) Listen, we know. We're working on it. Willy enters, followed by Deadeye and Jenny. Fritz beckons them in. FRITZ I'll get back to you when we have more information. Goodbye. Fritz hangs up the phone and looks up at Willy. FRITZ William. Good work at the casino. (noticing Deadeye and Jenny) The agent from America. Nice to meet you. And this is your girlfriend? DEADEYE Uh ... yeah. FRITZ Very good. (picks up a manila envelope and hands it to Willy) Your new assignment. Try to find the *real* diamonds this time, Double- Oh-Seven. WILLY (looking through contents) So they've been traded already? FRITZ Our best guess is they're in KOMPLEX's paws, at his hideout in Berlin. Now get moving, before they move them to his headquarters in Moscow. Willy turns to leave. FRITZ And see Q on your way out. He has some new gadgets for you. Willy leads Deadeye and Jenny out. JENNY Why does KOMPLEX want the diamonds? WILLY We're not sure ... but we think he's working on some kind of weapon that requires the diamonds to operate. Willy leads them into the lab. Inside, someone in a white coat is hunched over a table with his back to them. WILLY What have you got for us today, Q? Q straightens up and spins around. It's Bucky, dressed in a shirt and tie under his lab coat and wearing rather large, thick glasses. Deadeye stifles his laughter, and Jenny gives him a dirty look. BUCKY Well, let's see ... ah, yes. Bucky walks over to the other end of the table and picks up a cellular phone. WILLY Thanks for stopping at Radio Shack for me. BUCKY (not amused) This is not an ordinary phone. (presses button) Give this two taps and ... (two prongs pop out of the bottom) ... you can administer quite a shock. WILLY Exciting. What else can it do? BUCKY Well, if you push this ... (he pushes something, and nothing happens) Oh wait, maybe it was this ... Willy whistles, tapping his feet, as Bucky struggles to figure out which button it was. BUCKY Hold on. I know those tranquilizers are here ... Bucky finally hits the button, activating two darts that shoot out and hit him in the forehead. BUCKY ... somewhere. Bucky passes out. He drops the phone, which Willy catches in mid- air. WILLY Thanks a lot, Q. Willy turns to leave, then motions to the other lab technician. WILLY See that he gets checked out. SCENE 8 - PRIVATE PLANE EN ROUTE TO BERLIN In the passenger section, Willy is relaxing, drinking a martini. Deadeye is staring out one of the tiny windows when Jenny pulls him aside. JENNY We have to talk to Willy. DEADEYE About waking up? (glances at Willy) I don't think 'e's gonna take us very seriously. JENNY We don't have a choice. DEADEYE How long could we stay here? JENNY (thinks about it) Probably until the maleks finish feeding off of the real Willy. Once he dies, this little dreamland ends, and I would bet that our real selves would die just from the shock of being trapped in this fantasy. DEADEYE What if ... (gesturing toward Willy) ... *he* dies? JENNY Think about it, Deadeye. Do you ever die in your fantasies? DEADEYE What about us? JENNY We can probably die. DEADEYE Then do we ... I mean the real we ... wake up? Or do we just die, too? JENNY I don't know. But I wouldn't risk it. Our only hope is to try talking to this Willy. DEADEYE Ach ... in case you've forgotten, lass, he doesn't understand who we are. JENNY He doesn't have to. He just has to wake up. DEADEYE All right ... you go first. Jenny and Deadeye head over to where Willy is sitting, taking the seats opposite him. JENNY Willy, we need ... WILLY William. JENNY ... William. We need to talk to you about something. WILLY (takes a drink) Shoot. JENNY This is kind of hard to explain, but ... William, this is just a dream. WILLY What is? JENNY All of this ... this world, these people, your job. Everything. You're just some kid dreaming it all it. And we need you to wake up. Willy looks at her seriously, then suddenly begins to laugh. After a few minutes of hard laugher, he pulls himself together enough to speak. WILLY That's a good one ... any others? Jenny looks at Deadeye hopelessly. DEADEYE I told ye he wouldn't go fer it, Jenny. JENNY (back to Willy) Doesn't this all seem a little odd? ... I mean, toads and mammals mixing with humans? WILLY What are you talking about? I don't know what you guys have back in America, but this is the way Europe is. Willy stands and heads over to the bar to get another drink. DEADEYE Good goin', lassie. Jenny gives Deadeye a look and follows Willy, standing next to him. WILLY What, are you still on this? JENNY William, you have to listen to me! WILLY (chuckles and shakes his head) If I wanted to hear anything about "life's a dream" theories, I would have taken philosophy in Oxford instead of criminology. JENNY It's not a theory, Willy. It's real -- more real than this ... this dream. You're not some secret agent! WILLY Then who am I? JENNY You're Willy DuWitt. You're a fourteen-year-old kid from San Francisco who's an engineer on a spaceship. You've seen one too many movies, from what Deadeye tells me, and this is your fantasy. WILLY (lights up a cigarette) Tell me ... if this is my fantasy, why are you telling me this instead of giving me a backrub or something? JENNY Because I'm not *supposed* to be here. Deadeye and I were trapped here by the same creatures that created you. All of this was formed by these creatures from pieces of Willy's memory to keep him happy while they suck his mind out. The longer we stay in this dream, the more danger Willy -- and you -- are in. WILLY Riiiight. (spins around on his barstool and calls out to Deadeye) You know your girlfriend needs her head examined? Deadeye just sighs and puts a paw over his good eye. SCENE 9 - CRUISER Bucky and Rogers are waking down the Galactia's hallway, talking. BUCKY (reaching engineering) I guess I'd better check on Willy ... Bucky opens the door to reveal Jenny and Deadeye unconscious on the floor. Hundreds of maleks hover over them and Willy, who is still in a trance. BUCKY Great Mother ... Bucky needs beside Jenny and tries to wake her, unsuccessfully. BUCKY (to Rogers) Get your med team! SCENE 10 - BERLIN Willy, Jenny and Deadeye are in a cab driven by TIMOTHY DALTON. WILLY Here's the plan. KOMPLEX's hideout is in an old German compound used during the last war. (removes a cigarette from a silver case and lights up) Jenny will be the decoy. She'll go in to ask for directions like a lost tourist, and then D and I will jump the guards and get inside. Deadeye and Jenny just exchange looks and nod. The cab pulls up to the front of the building, and the three of them approach it. Jenny stands in front of the door and knocks as Deadeye and Willy wait on the side in anticipation. A moment later, the door opens, and FRIX and FRAX, speaking with heavy Russian accents, open the door. FRIX and FRAX Yes? JENNY Hi. I was just wondering if you could point me in the direction of the nearest tourist bureau. Frix and Frax look at each other, and, drooling over Jenny, step outside to point in the direction of the bureau. As they step out, Willy and Deadeye strike from the sides, knocking the toads out. WILLY Good work, D. DEADEYE Not so bad yourself. They enter the building. Willy spies the security camera and points to it. WILLY Looks like they know we're here. Willy looks into the lens, straightening his hair while staring into the reflection of himself. WILLY There's not a moment to lose. We'll split up and look for the diamonds. Willy goes in one direction. Deadeye and Jenny turn off in another. DEADEYE Any ideas, lass? JENNY He's not buying it. DEADEYE I was talkin' about the diamonds. JENNY (looks at him) You're really getting into this, aren't you? DEADEYE You gotta admit, it's a bit amusin'. JENNY Well ... don't lose track of what we're *supposed* to be doing here. The maleks will eventually finish feeding, and when they do, we're in trouble. AIR MARSHAL Correction ... you are in trouble *now*. Jenny and Deadeye turn around to notice the Air Marshal standing in the hallway, pointing a gun at them. Deadeye draws his guns, but they are shot out of his paws by the Air Marshal. AIR MARSHAL Nice try, duck. Now get those paws up -- all of them. Jenny and Deadeye raise their paws. AIR MARSHAL Good. Now ... (points them in another direction) This way. SCENE 11 - COMPOUND Willy is running down a hallway, trying to avoid fire from a couple of stormtoads in suits when he runs smack into the towering TOADBORG, who is also wearing a suit. WILLY Hello ... I believe we've met. TOADBORG Yes ... Toadborg opens his mouth to reveal a steel set of jaws. Approaching Willy menacingly, he grabs the human by his shoulders and lifts him off the ground. Willy wiggles out, skillfully ducking under the cyborg. Toadborg's upper body rotates around fast enough for him to catch Willy on his way back to standing up, smacking him in the back of the head. Willy collapses to the ground, unconscious. SCENE 12 - MED BAY, CRUISER Willy, Jenny, and Deadeye are on separate cots, being attended to by Rogers's med team. Rogers and Bucky watch helplessly. ROGERS They're all in some sort of coma. BUCKY What do you think caused this? Rogers looks up at the maleks, which are floating around the ceiling of the med bay. ROGERS It might be those things. BUCKY Yeah ... that's what I was thinking. Bucky approaches Willy's bedside. Unlike Jenny and Deadeye, who are dormant, Willy has his hands up over his head and is thrashing around, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. Bucky leans close to him, holding one of his hands and whispering gently in his ear. BUCKY C'mon, Willy ... wake up. Bucky's pleas go unanswered. SCENE 13 - COMPOUND Willy awakes to find he is chained to the wall with his hands held over his head. Beside him are Deadeye and Jenny, in similar positions. He is in a large room with many machines being worked at by toads. Looking over them is a blue, bald toad who is the toad manifestation of KOMPLEX. His voice and face are the same as his computer counterpart, only now he has a Russian accent and a body to go along with his head. He is smoking a cigar. KOMPLEX spins around, noticing Willy is now awake. KOMPLEX So good of you to join us, Double-Oh-Seven. You were just about to miss the celebration. WILLY I didn't know it was your birthday, KOMPLEX, or I would have gotten you a present. KOMPLEX walks over to Willy and slaps him in the face. KOMPLEX Insolence! (looks him in the eye) So ... you really don't know, do you? Well ... I've always said British Intelligence was an oxymoron. Now, just how behind they are on information can finally be proven. KOMPLEX walks back down to where the toads are working at the machine, in front of a large monitor showing a launch pad. KOMPLEX Thanks to that decoy in the casino, we were able to smuggle the diamonds to Berlin while you played blackjack. They arrived just in time for the scheduled launching of the satellite, ray and all. (chuckling, looking at the screen) In ten minutes, we will launch the satellite, and the world governments will bend to their knees in front of the almighty KOMPLEX! KOMPLEX goes off to check something. Deadeye turns to Willy. DEADEYE Any ideas, Agent DuWitt? WILLY Don't worry, D -- I've got it covered. JENNY Is this a bad time to bring up the this-is-all-a-dream problem again? WILLY Impeccably bad, Jenny. The Air Marshal enters, obviously sent by KOMPLEX to guard them. He is twirling a set of keys on a ring around his finger. Suddenly, a ringing sound comes from Willy's suit jacket. WILLY Aw, dammit ... M picks the *worst* time to call ... AIR MARSHAL (approaching him) Something wrong, DuWitt? WILLY Yeah ... I'm kinda tied up here and can't really get to the phone ... could you pick it up for me? The Air Marshal hesitates, and the phone continues to ring. WILLY (sighing impatiently) Well, you've got to tell my government about the ray *eventually* ... you might as well do it while they're on the line. The Air Marshal cautiously reaches into Willy's breast pocket and plucks out the cellular phone. He fiddles with it, trying to figure out how to open it. WILLY (leaning in) It's the red button on the end ... The Air Marshal pushes it. Two prongs poke out and stick into his paw, sending an electric shock through his body. He cries out and jumps back, releasing the keys, which Willy catches in his mouth. The Air Marshal recovers, but Willy lifts his legs and kicks him in the head, knocking out the fat toad. WILLY (working with the key in his mouth on his shackles) Told ya I had it covered. Willy frees himself, then proceeds to free Jenny and Deadeye. The toads working at the machines notice this and activate the alarm. A group of stormtoads rush in. DEADEYE Ach, if they hadn't taken me blasters ... WILLY Improvise, D! Willy spins around and kicks a toad in the head, then lands and punches another toad out. Deadeye and Jenny watch as Willy takes half of the toads out, stifling their laughter before joining in on the fight. WILLY (fighting his way through the crowd) D, stop the satellite from being launched! I'm going after KOMPLEX! Willy runs off, and Jenny approaches one of the stations at the machine and presses a few buttons. JENNY There. The launch is stopped. DEADEYE (finishing off the last toad) What about Willy? JENNY Let's find him. Jenny and Deadeye run off in the direction in which Willy disappeared. SCENE 14 - COMPOUND Willy is running down the hallway, carrying a gun he stole from a toad, looking for KOMPLEX. He is about to enter what appears to be KOMPLEX's quarters when he hears a voice, seemingly from nowhere. It's the faint voice of Bucky O'Hare, calling out to him. WILLY (stops) Q? Willy is still trying to hear the voice when Jenny and Deadeye reach him. DEADEYE Willy! Did you find KOMPLEX? WILLY Huh? (detached) Oh, yes ... he's in there. Willy gestured toward the door, and they enter. KOMPLEX is sitting at a large desk, petting his cat. KOMPLEX You never fail to amaze me, Double-Oh-Seven. Willy, too distracted to respond, simply raises his gun and shoots at KOMPLEX's head. The toad ducks down and disappears behind his desk. Deadeye runs up, looking behind the desk to find a deep hole in the ground where his seat was. DEADEYE KOMPLEX got away! WILLY Yes ... Jenny looks at him. JENNY Willy? Are you OK? But Willy is listening to Bucky's voice, which is piercing his mind. He holds his head and stumbles back, confused. WILLY Captain ... JENNY Willy ... can you hear Bucky? Willy slumps down into a chair. His hands are shaking as the implications of what Jenny said earlier are beginning to set in. WILLY You said ... this isn't real. JENNY It's a dream, Willy. And we're all stuck in it. All of this is just a teenager's elaborate fantasy. Willy considers, and Deadeye approaches him. DEADEYE Don't take it too hard, matey ... it ain't a bad dream at all. Still thinking to himself, Willy reaches into his suit jacket and removes a gun, which he hands to Deadeye. DEADEYE What's this for? WILLY (stands, straightening his jacket) What always looks like it's going to happen before you wake up from a bad dream? JENNY What? WILLY You think you're going to die. Deadeye stares at him, fully understanding what he means. WILLY You know in a nightmare, it's always just before you fall to your death and hit the ground, or get hit by the train, or the bogeyman finally catches you, that you finally wake up? (indicates to gun) If you kill me, then your Willy will wake up just before I die ... hopefully. DEADEYE Ah, Willy, I ... I can't. Willy turns to Jenny. JENNY (sighs) I can't, either. Willy takes the gun from Deadeye. WILLY (tossing the gun around in his hand) I suppose ... to preserve my own ... *real* life -- and both of yours -- I should ... Willy swallows and hears Bucky pleading with him again, calling for him to wake up. Willy turns to Deadeye and Jenny, straightening himself out and giving them a strong salute before turning the gun on himself. There is the sound of a gunshot. SCENE SHIFTS TO THE GALACTIA MED BAY Willy's eyes shoot open as he jerks up, startled and sweating heavily. When his eyes adjust to the bright light above him, he realizes he is surrounded by members of the Galactia crew, who are helping Bucky hold him down. WILLY (alarmed) I'm awake! (holding his head and lying back down against the cot) Oh, man, Captain, you wouldn't *believe* the dream I just had ... Seeing that Willy is all right, Bucky turns his attention to Jenny and Deadeye, who have woken up from what appears to be a very heavy sleep. JENNY (grabs Bucky's sleeve tiredly) The maleks ... BUCKY The what? Jenny points up at the maleks hovering above them. The maleks are flying around frantically, apparently alarmed at Willy's sudden wakefulness. BUCKY What about them? JENNY They're dangerous. We have to get off this ship! BUCKY What? All of us? JENNY (sitting up) Yes. We'll have to leave the Galactia until we can figure out a way to get rid of them. ROGERS (cutting in) But ... JENNY (standing, pulling Bucky) Now! I'll explain everything once we get back on the Righteous. Jenny tugs Bucky out of med bay. Wordlessly, he follows, followed by the rest of them. SCENE 15 - THE RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION Everyone has gathered on the Righteous, in the main bay. Jenny has just finished explaining about the maleks. ROGERS (to Jenny) I guess we owe you a thank you for getting us out of there before those things ... fed on us. JENNY No problem. ROGERS (standing) Well ... we managed to get one of our shuttles online, so we'll be taking that back to Genus and giving them the bad news about the Galactia. BUCKY Is there anything else we can do for you? ROGERS I don't think so. But thanks a lot, Captain. Rogers shakes with Bucky and leads his crew out of the Righteous. Bucky sighs heavily and heads up the ladder to the piloting bay. Willy, who has been sitting in the hatch that leads to engineering, finally speaks up. WILLY (to Jenny and Deadeye) You guys gotta hear about this awesome dream I had ... BUCKY (calling down from piloting) Later, Willy! I need that accelerator running! WILLY (stands reluctantly) Aye-aye, Captain. Willy goes back into engineering with Blinky, shutting the door behind him. Deadeye turns to Jenny, raising an eyebrow. DEADEYE Think we should tell 'im? JENNY No ... I think this should be our secret, for once. DEADEYE Deal. Jenny climbs up into the piloting bay, where Bucky is already seated. He notices her absentminded behavior. BUCKY What is it, Jenny? JENNY Oh, nothing, Q ... Bucky gives her a strange look, at which she smiles widely. THE END