"Old Habits" by Rygar First draft - 5/6/10 Final draft - 5/20/10 Edited by WatsonSword SCENE 1 - UNKNOWN LOCATION This room is not very well lit. A table with three chairs around it sits quietly in the center, an inactivated computer monitor lying on the top of the table. The room's lone door rattles, then opens. Two badger THUGS enter, escorting a blindfolded and gagged GUNNER HARRY CALLAN, who is murmuring and trying to escape their grips. They hold on tighter as they pull him to the center of the room and force him to sit down. One of the thugs pulls off Harry's blindfold. Harry takes a quick look around and spots an imposing FIGURE standing opposite him at the table, the monitor in between them. FIGURE Mr. Callan. Thank you for joining us. I must admit, you made yourself quite easy to find. The figure steps forward, revealing himself to be a stocky puma in his thirties. He grins as he looks Harry over. PUMA I'm sure you recognize me. A worried look crosses Harry's brow. PUMA (smiling) And I'm sure you recognize this. The puma activates the monitor. The screen shows a pair of paws holding a silver briefcase. PUMA Open it. The paws open the briefcase, revealing the contents to Harry. The hare's eyes go wide. HARRY (through the gag) Mmmph! Harry reaches forward, as if to grab the suitcase through the monitor. The two thugs hold him back. PUMA Ah, ah, ah. I recovered this little gem fair and square. And I do know how important it is to you. The paws close the briefcase with a satisfying click. PUMA Who knows what might happen if that made it back to the authorities, hmm? At the least, it would probably cost you your job. Realistically, it'd probably get you incarcerated for life. And my my, a UAC flunkie in an interplanetary prison. I'm sure they'd welcome you there with open arms. (grins) Almost makes you miss being tortured by the toads, doesn't it? Harry still struggles, urgent and insistent. PUMA What do I want, you ask? Nothing too egregious. I need a job done. And the man I had in mind is no longer available. (beat) So you're going to get Mimi to do it for me. Harry manages to frown despite the gag. PUMA You'll find a way for it to happen. Or else, you'll never see that little treat again. The puma turns off the monitor. One thug blindfolds Harry again, and the other immediately clocks him in the jaw, knocking him unconscious. SCENE 2 - DOCK TWO, ORWELL STATION The next day, Harry nervously approaches The Screaming Mimi, which is docked and undergoing maintenance. As he steps into the cockpit, ENGINEER DILE O'CROCK greets him. DILE Hello, Harry. HARRY Ah, hey, Dile. Is Mimi around? DILE Yes. She is in the cockpit. HARRY Thanks! Harry bolts up the ladder and climbs into the cockpit. He spots CAPTAIN MIMI LAFLEUR calibrating the ship's autopilot. Next to her sits FIRST MATE JONATHAN WEISSMAN, who is reading through a manual. HARRY Hey, Mimi? MIMI (turning around) Harry. You OK? HARRY Can I talk to you for a second? MIMI Sure. HARRY (looks at Jonathan briefly) In private? Mimi eyes Harry, noticing his slumped shoulders and the spooked look in his eyes. MIMI Uh, yeah. We'll talk in the gunners' bay. Harry climbs down the ladder, followed by Mimi. Jonathan rolls his eyes. Mimi and Harry enter the gunners' chambers. Harry nervously closes the door. Mimi sits down in the cushioned gunners' chair as Harry paces about nervously. MIMI OK, something is clearly wrong. Out with it. HARRY Don't hate me for this. MIMI Oh, please don't start out like that. HARRY I need to ask you a favor. A really, really big favor. MIMI Are your cousins in town again? I told you I wasn't going to pretend to be your girlfriend again! HARRY No. Way, way bigger than that. MIMI (impatient) Spit it out! Harry looks around nervously, then walks up to Mimi and whispers a few sentences in her ear. Mimi gets more and more agitated as Harry continues talking. MIMI You're kidding. HARRY Do you think I would kid about something like this?! Mimi looks at Harry glumly. MIMI What is this guy gonna ask me to do? HARRY Nothing legal, that's for sure. MIMI Harry, I closed that door a long time ago, and so did you. HARRY I know. But he's opening it up again. MIMI Harry, I can't do this. HARRY (deadly serious) If he turns that in to the authorities, I'll be jailed for life ... if I'm lucky! (pleading) Please, Mimi. Please? A tortured look washes over Mimi's face. SCENE 3 - DOWNTOWN, GENUS That night, Mimi and Harry hang out, incognito, in a seedy part of the downtown area of Genus's capital city. They stand under a street light and watch people stream in and out of bars. MIMI Are you sure this is the right place? HARRY He said to come here at midnight. MIMI Well, it's five past, and this place is a little too sketchy even for me. HARRY Mimi, c'mon! Give him just another minute. MIMI (shaking her head) I don't even know how you're going to pay me back for this one. Just then, the light above Mimi and Harry goes out. Startled, the two look up. Mimi instinctively reaches for her blaster. Before she can respond, she feels a cloth being held forcefully over her mouth. A sweet smell fills Mimi's nostrils as the world grows hazy. She finally goes limp. Harry is similarly forced into unconsciousness. SCENE 4 - UNKNOWN LOCATION Mimi groans as she slowly comes to. She finds herself sitting in a chair, at a table. She blinks, her eyes adjusting to the low light in the room. To her surprise, she is not bound or gagged. She shakes her head, trying to become more alert. She starts to stand. PUMA Ah, ah, ah. Mimi freezes. Her eyes focus, and she notices a stocky puma sitting across from her. PUMA Stay seated. Relax. Mimi uses what strength she has to glare at the puma. She stands. As she does, she feels the barrel of a blaster shoved into her back. PUMA (cordially) Sit. Mimi scowls as she sits back down, slowly. PUMA (smiling) Now then. (beat) So glad you could make this meeting, Captain LaFleur. MIMI Cut the crap. Tell me what you want me to do, and we'll get this over with. PUMA Hmph. And here I thought you'd be more fun. (beat) Very well. I have need of an arms smuggler. MIMI Too bad. You're about five years too late, buddy. PUMA I prefer to think of it as you being out of practice. MIMI You really think I'm gonna smuggle arms for you? PUMA (shrugs) Word has it you were the best. (beat) Well, the second best. I originally planned to hire Vincent Roedecker for this job, but he had to go and get himself locked in jail. MIMI (surprised) Roedecker's in jail? (looking pleased) You just got on my good side. A teeny, tiny bit. PUMA Camaraderie always greases the wheels. But you know you have to do this either way. For your gunner's sake. MIMI How did you even get that ... PUMA (waving his paw) Pssh. Child's play. I just knew what I was looking for. (beat) He's sloppy, you know. MIMI It's endearing. (beat, sighs) OK. Spill the details, and I'll ... think about it. PUMA Gladly. The puma takes out a folder and places it on the table in front of Mimi. PUMA Here are the contacts you need. In a nutshell, I need you to smuggle some military-grade weaponry to the resistance on Gandar. MIMI Gandar? That's a member of the UAC. You really expect me to bring weapons to a bunch of rebels so they can take down a UAC-recognized government? PUMA If you don't want to die, and you want Harry to remain a free hare, then yes. Mimi growls. MIMI You are one of the sleaziest bastards I've ever met. And trust me, that is saying a lot. PUMA (irritated) Don't call me that. (beat) You'll need to get the weapons from my source. He's got a terrible drinking habit. You can find him at Wrenches's most evenings. Mimi does a double-take. MIMI First, you want me to arm an anti-UAC rebel faction, and now you want me to waltz into a mercenary bar? Are you insane? PUMA Absolutely not. To be honest, I'm partly doing this just to see if you *can* pull it off. What's work without a little fun? Mimi just glares at the puma. PUMA (cordially) I take it that's a yes? MIMI I take it I don't have much choice. PUMA I suppose I can't argue with that. Shaking her head, Mimi picks up the folder and flips through its contents. PUMA The men on Gandar have the briefcase. It was easier to smuggle that onto the planet than weaponry, I have to admit. They've been instructed to make the trade with you. MIMI What if I need to get in touch with you? PUMA Well, since I can't have you tracing my location ... The puma produces a small pocket comm and slides it across the table. Mimi grabs it. PUMA You can use that. Mimi activates the comm and sees one contact listed. The field where the contact's name would go is blank. MIMI I don't even get your name? PUMA Ha, that is amusing. I didn't program that comm myself. I guess Ulin was being extra-careful. (extends a paw) Jain. MIMI (smirking) Jain? I guess your mom and I have something in common. We both think you're a girl. Jain's expression snaps from aristocratic calm to restrained fury in a heartbeat. JAIN Insult my mother a third time, and I will slit your throat. Slowly. MIMI (raises her paws defensively) Sorry, didn't know you couldn't take a joke. Geez. (closes the folder) Well, I guess this little meeting from hell is over. You gonna have this joker behind me knock me out again? JAIN Sure, why not? Suddenly, Mimi feels a cloth over her mouth. The same odor lulls her once again into the darkness. SCENE 5 - OUTSIDE CHAIRMAN DOGSTAR'S OFFICE, UAC HEADQUARTERS, GENUS The next day, Mimi and Harry stand outside the Chairman's door, waiting for their appointment in a few minutes. Across the room, CLAIRE SHEFFIELD sits at her desk, keeping an eye on Mimi. HARRY (whispering) She's watching you. MIMI (whispering) I know. I can't blame her. I usually just barge in. HARRY But I guess you want to be on Dogstar's good side today, huh? MIMI Couldn't hurt. HARRY You think this plan will work? MIMI If it doesn't, you're more screwed than I am. Harry gulps and looks up at the clock. A few minutes later, Claire speaks up. CLAIRE Thank you for waiting patiently. Dogstar will see you now. Mimi smiles in forced politeness as she and Harry stand up and walk into the office. CHAIRMAN SIRIUS DOGSTAR sits patiently. DOGSTAR Mimi. So nice to see you behaving yourself. MIMI Just trying to keep you on your toes. DOGSTAR Well, since this is the first scheduled meeting you've attended since you had me fire your liaison, we've got quite a backlog of reports to go over. Mimi groans. MIMI Can we do that later? Is it really even necessary? Dogstar gets a disappointed look on his face. DOGSTAR If you've not here to give your overdue reports, then why did you show up to this meeting at all? MIMI (looking away slightly) I actually kinda need to move my shore leave around a bit. DOGSTAR (closing his eyes) Ah, yes. Favors. The only thing I'm useful for nowadays, it seems. MIMI Come on, Dogstar. You've got a billion captains now. It's not going to be that hard to move a little vacation time around. I'm not even asking for extra. DOGSTAR You know, if you met me halfway more often, I'd be more willing to accommodate you. MIMI Me, accommodate you? When were you going to tell me Roedecker was behind bars? DOGSTAR (blinks) What does that have to do with anything? MIMI I'm not telling you everything, and you're not telling me everything. (glances at Harry) Look. Let me just do this one thing, and I'll come to all your scheduled meetings from now on. Dogstar thinks for a moment, a grumpy look on his face. DOGSTAR I suppose that's acceptable. MIMI (beaming) Wonderful. Thank you, Dogstar. Now, we're due for shore leave in three weeks. I was wondering if we could possibly move it up to tomorrow? DOGSTAR (flabbergasted) Tomorrow? Who do you think is going to cover for you? MIMI Call Bucky and tell him he owes me one. He'll know what you mean. DOGSTAR (giving Mimi a look) I shouldn't ask, should I? MIMI You probably never should, with him. DOGSTAR Well, fine. If Bucky will cover for you tomorrow, I can arrange things past that. Why the short notice? MIMI Harry's family is taking a trip to Gandar and wanted him to come along. DOGSTAR This is for Harry? (to Harry) Then why is Mimi doing all the talking? HARRY (shrugs) She's a lot more persuasive than I am. DOGSTAR That only matters when someone falls for it. (beat) Which, I suppose, I have. Enjoy your trip. The beaches are lovely, I've heard. White sand, of all things. Are Dile and Jonathan going with you? MIMI I think they have their own plans. DOGSTAR Ah. Well, I need to get started on reworking this schedule. I'll let you know when your next *mandatory* meeting is, Mimi. MIMI Thanks again, Dogstar. Mimi and Harry smile respectfully, then exit. SCENE 6 - SPACE, NEAR WRENCHES'S BAR Mimi and Harry ride in a personal two-man cruiser, taking the next step on their mission. They are both dressed in plainclothes. Mimi is also wearing a wig, as well as earrings she's never worn before. HARRY So how are we going to break it to the crew that we messed with their shore leave plans? MIMI I'm working on it. Let's finish meeting this sleazeball, and then we can go from there. HARRY It's like you never plan anything more than ten seconds in advance. MIMI Hey, I'm doing this for you! And my plans always work, thank you. HARRY Yeah, yeah. (looks out the window) I'm just worried. Mimi says nothing as she maneuvers the cruiser to park at Wrenches's. She and Harry disembark, then walk toward the bar. As they enter, the noise and commotion nearly overwhelms them. Mercenaries of all stripes are crowding the bar, talking trash, playing poker, and making arrangements. No one notices Mimi and Harry at first, but as they make their way to the bar, people slowly begin noticing her. The conversation nearest her devolves into whispers and head-noddding. Mimi is almost to the bar when she notices that everyone is staring at her. MIMI (faking an accent) What? Can't a girl get a drink? GOAT You're Mimi LaFleur. MIMI Now that's ridiculous. I know I look like her, but why would a UAC captain just walk into a space bar? OCELOT Cut the crap. You ain't foolin' nobody. MIMI (shakes her head) You folks are outta your minds. Mimi doesn't notice as a SKUNK stands up behind her and yanks her wig off. MIMI (startled) Hey! What the hell? SKUNK Told ya. MIMI (irritated) Dammit! Why couldn't you assholes just leave me along? GOAT 'Cuz we wanted to thank ya. MIMI (taken aback) Thank me? OCELOT You and the UAC put Negator and his team behind bars. SKUNK That means a lot more work for us. Mimi, expecting that she would have been unwelcome here, is surprised. MIMI Happy to help. SKUNK Also, we don't get too many ladies 'round here. What'cha want to drink? MIMI Sorry, this is a business trip. I'm looking for Jared Null. OCELOT Why're you lookin' for a sleazasaur? MIMI Long story. He here? OCELOT Prolly in the back. MIMI Thanks. Can I get my wig back? SKUNK You turned down a drink. I ain't gonna be polite either. MIMI Fine. I guess you all recognized me anyway. SKUNK You thought we wouldn't? OCELOT You're a UAC captain, you used to deal arms, *and* you're smoking hot. MIMI That's three strikes, clearly. Come on, Harry. Mimi grabs Harry's arm and drags him to the back of the bar. They enter a separate area and spot JARED NULL, a sleazasaur, finishing off the drink in front of him. He sets down the empty mug next to three more that keep it company. No one is sitting next to him, the other people in the room preferring to keep their distance. Jared spots Mimi as she approaches. He grins a toothy grin, his razor-sharp teeth glinting. JARED (speech slurred) Well, well, well. What we got 'ere? MIMI You've got business here. Jain sent me. JARED He sent me a little company, huh? Well, that was nice of him. MIMI Keep it in your pants, buddy. I'm just here to pick up the weapons I have to smuggle into Gandar. JARED (standing up) Heh heh. I've got something else you can smuggle in first. MIMI (reaching for her blaster) Seriously? I am not here to put up with this shit. Jared steps up to Mimi. Despite being wobbly, he is nearly a foot taller and an imposing figure. The sleazasaur clears his throat. JARED Jain, huh? I've never been fond of that prick, and the price he's quoting me on these weapons is criminally low. You want them, you're gonna have to throw something else into the bargain ... In the blink of an eye, Mimi pulls out her blaster and points it at Jared's nether regions. MIMI You keep thinking with that, and I'm going to blow your brains out. Jared pauses for a moment, then grins. JARED (sobering up) You've got some spunk. Pity you're not more accommodating. MIMI Pity you're not helping me get those guns. JARED They're in a warehouse on Sludge. I've got the location on my card. Just let me ... Jared reaches for his pocket. Mimi presses the barrel of her pistol against Jared's crotch. MIMI Nah ah ah. Paws up. Jared glumly reaches for the sky. MIMI Harry? Harry gets a look of disgust on his face as he reaches into Jared's left pocket. To his relief, there actually are business cards in there. MIMI Who am I gonna meet there? JARED His name's Kren. He'll be at the warehouse. MIMI Much obliged. How much we talkin'? JARED Jain paid for four crates' worth. MIMI Four *crates*? Frell. We're gonna have to take the frigate. Come on, Harry. Harry steps away from Jared and flanks Mimi. She begins stepping out of the room, keeping her blaster trained on Jared. SCENE 7 - DOCK EIGHT, ORWELL STATION Later that day, Mimi and Harry enter the dock and approach The Screaming Mimi. Mimi steels herself for the unfortunate conversations ahead. As she climbs into the ship, Dile greets her. DILE Good afternoon, Captain. MIMI (smiling) Hey, Dile. Is Jonathan around? DILE Yes, he is in the cockpit. MIMI Good. I've got something I need to tell you both. (calling) Jonathan, can you come down here for a minute? Jonathan climbs down the ladder and joins the rest of the crew. JONATHAN What's up, Mimi? MIMI Long story short, our shore leave got bumped up. To tomorrow. DILE (surprised) Tomorrow? Why? MIMI I really don't know all the details. So let's just try to enjoy the vacation that we do get. DILE (sad) But I was hoping to visit my family next month. Everyone was going to fly home. I don't think they can make arrangements on such short notice. MIMI Dile, you can still go on that trip. (glaring at Harry) Harry will find someone to cover for you that week. Right, Harry? HARRY Uh, yeah. Definitely. This perks Dile up. Jonathan notices the tension between Mimi and Harry. JONATHAN Well, I didn't have any particular plans, so that's fine. What are you planning to do on this sudden vacation? MIMI Um ... I've got some personal stuff to attend to on Gandar. So I'll be there. DILE Gandar! My cousin Fred always spoke highly of that planet. I would love to go. MIMI Er ... JONATHAN We might as well make this a group trip, right? HARRY Hey, yeah. That would be fun. Mimi keeps a straight face, even though this development unnerves her. MIMI Good! I'm glad that worked out. Now, how's the ship looking? JONATHAN Same as she ever was. DILE I have no problems to report. MIMI Great. That's all I had. I'll meet you guys here tomorrow, and we can head to Gandar. Dile nods as he grabs his backpack and leaves the ship. Harry walks over to the gunner's chamber. Mimi waits patiently for Jonathan to disembark; instead, he pulls her close and whispers in her ear. JONATHAN OK, what mess are you in this time? MIMI Jonathan ... JONATHAN I've got your back. Just spill. MIMI Someone's got some dirt on Harry, and I'm helping him resolve the situation. JONATHAN How illegal is this going to be? MIMI (thinks) It's in the top five. Jonathan sighs and rubs his temples. MIMI Look, this wasn't my idea! I'm doing it for Harry. Trust me, I am not happy about this. JONATHAN What do you need me to do? MIMI Just keep Dile safe in case anything happens. Harry and I will be fine. JONATHAN Sure you will. Now, where are you taking the ship right now? MIMI Sludge. I've got to pick up some cargo. JONATHAN (snorts) I can tell this is going to be a good one. Have fun. MIMI Thanks for understanding, Jonathan. JONATHAN (shrugs, slightly sarcastic) What are friends for? Jonathan walks a little slowly as he steps off the ship. Mimi breathes a sigh of relief as the door closes behind him. MIMI (calling) Harry, get ready to hit mark-2. We're heading to Sludge in one minute. SCENE 8 - SLUDGE The Screaming Mimi flies low in the air above Sludge. Mimi pilots while Harry keeps an eye on the navigation system, directing Mimi where to go. HARRY OK, the warehouse is ten kilometers straight ahead. Mimi steers the frigate straight ahead and finally lands it in a dirt heap a few hundred feet from a dingy warehouse. Mimi and Harry step outside cautiously. It's nighttime here, and even for Sludge, this is a bad part of town. HARRY Can we do this as quickly as possible? Mimi stops as she notices a red dot on her forehead. MIMI Oh, I hope so. (calling) I'm looking for Kren! Jared Null sent me! I'm picking up Jain's weapons! VOICE Paws in the air! Mimi raises her arms high. Harry, noticing a red dot on his forehead as well, does the same. Three RATS step out from the shadows, two of them training maser rifles on Mimi and Harry. RAT #1 And how do I know you ain't lyin'? MIMI Do I look like I would be caught dead on this planet if I didn't have to pick these weapons up? RAT #1 Keep mouthin' off, and someone else is gonna catch ya dead here. RAT #2 Jain did say some dame was comin' to pick his crap up. RAT #1 Yeah, but how do we know it's her? MIMI Look, I did not have a drunken sleazasaur hit on me in a bar just so I could get shot in the head on Sludge. RAT #3 (lowering his gun) Sounds like she talked to Jared, all right. RAT #1 Hey, I didn't say lower it! (to Mimi) What exactly are you here for, sister? MIMI Jared told me we've got four crates full of weapons here. Jain wants me to smuggle them into Gandar so we can get them to the anti-UAC resistance. RAT #2 (lowering his gun) She can't make that up. RAT #1 C'mon, we all know she works for the UAC! How do we know she didn't innercept a message and take out the real smuggler? MIMI I hate you people. Mimi reaches into her pocket and pulls out the comm Jain gave her. She activates it. MIMI (into comm) Jain, this is Mimi. Tell these Sludge rats I'm legit so I can get the cargo. JAIN (over comm) What? Who is this? I have no idea what you're talking about. Mimi's eyes go wide. So do the eyes of the three rats. The two armed ones fumble to re-aim their rifles. MIMI Dammit! Mimi drops the comm and jumps to the left, elbowing the armed rat closest to her. It catches him off guard. Stunned, his grip eases on his weapon. Mimi grabs it as she steps behind the rat. The other armed rat follows Mimi with his gun. Harry takes the opportunity to pull out his own maser and trains it on the remaining armed rat. HARRY Drop it, pal. RAT #1 I knew it! We was set up! MIMI (holding her hostage close) Dammit, Jain, I'm not in the mood for this! Laughter floats out through the comm. JAIN Fine, fine. I suppose I've had my fun. Yes, Kren, this is the person I sent to pick up the shipment. RAT #2 (held hostage by Mimi) Why didn't ya say so? MIMI (letting Rat #2 go) For what it's worth, I can't stand him either. (to Kren) Now can we just get the weapons and get out of here? KREN Yeah, yeah. The rats regroup and head toward the warehouse, grumbling. Mimi picks up the comm out of the dirt as Harry holsters his weapons. Mimi just glares at the comm before shutting it off. MIMI Good job, Harry. HARRY You're the one with the moves, Mimi. Mimi just shakes her head in irritation as she and Harry approach the warehouse. They follow the rats inside, down a few poorly lit corridors, and into a room. KREN Here ya go. Mimi blinks at the four large crates in front of her. Each one is nearly as tall as her and five feet across. The wooden crates are unlabeled and nondescript. RAT #3 We got a forklift. Can ya park the frigate right out back? MIMI Yeah, I can do that. How heavy are these things? RAT #2 Maybe a couple hundred pounds each. MIMI (closing her eyes tightly) I just hope the ship can handle that much weight. SCENE 9 - DEEP SPACE The Screaming Mimi exits hyperspace just outside Gandar's orbit. Mimi and Jonathan sit in the cockpit, while Dile mans the photon accelerator and Harry keeps an eye on the four large crates in the main bay. They barely shift and move even as the ship exits hyperspace. In the cockpit, Mimi activates the comm to hail Gandar's orbital security system. MIMI (into comm) This is Captain Mimi LaFleur of the S.P.A.C.E. frigate The Screaming Mimi, requesting permission to land on Gandar. VOICE (over comm) Greetings, Captain. You are clear to pass the security stations. Please queue at the immigration port so that your vehicle may be searched. MIMI (a little nervous) Searched? Why do you need to search an S.P.A.C.E. frigate? VOICE Standard protocol, ma'am. MIMI Can we bypass it? We're in a bit of a hurry here. VOICE No can do. You know about the rebel situation on this planet. Everyone gets searched, no exceptions. MIMI (irritated) Fine. Heading that way now. Mimi steers the ship to the large orbital station designated for immigration. JONATHAN So now what? MIMI I'll get us through. JONATHAN Are you ever going to tell us what's in those crates? MIMI Do you really want to know? JONATHAN Yes. MIMI (sighs) I'll tell you when we're done, OK? JONATHAN (shaking his head) At least you're not proud of this, I guess. Mimi says nothing as she lands the ship on a dock in the orbital station. The ship powers down, and Mimi climbs down into the main bay, where she greets Dile and Harry. MIMI Just let me handle this, guys. Harry looks a bit nervous as Mimi opens the hatch. A thin MOUSE wearing a brown jumpsuit steps aboard, carrying a clipboard. MOUSE Hey, folks. This'll be quick. Just need to make sure you're not ... The mouse spots the four crates and blinks. MOUSE ... smuggling stuff in. MIMI This is just UAC stuff. Nothing to worry about. MOUSE Um ... I'm going to need more information than that. Mimi looks at Jonathan, then Harry, then Dile. She gets an idea. MIMI Come here for a second. Mimi motions to the gunner's chamber. The mouse hesitates for a second, then follows. MOUSE I'm not trying to give you a hard time here, but ... MIMI Shh. Keep your voice down. (whispering) I'm not really supposed to talk about this, but I'm the captain, so I guess I can get away with it. MOUSE (suspicious) Huh? MIMI You saw my engineer, right? The sleazasaur? MOUSE Yeah. MIMI He's one of the best engineers the UAC has. He's working on a top- secret project here on Gandar. Those crates are his supplies. MOUSE What are you talking about? MIMI Remember the big hoopla when the mark-5 photon accelerator came out a few years ago? MOUSE Yeah ... MIMI Well, the mark-6 is being developed right here on Gandar by that sleazasaur. MOUSE Really? (skeptical) But why here? Don't we have labs and stuff for that sort of thing? And why haven't I heard about it before? MIMI Well, you know the regens ended up with access to the mark-5 technology. We really don't want them to get their slimy hands on a mark-6. And if you were a scuzzy regen trying to find a prototype mark- 6 frigate, would you keep your eyes on the UAC's premiere laboratories, or on a volatile vacation planet? MOUSE (thinking) Makes sense ... but why don't we have reports of this stuff coming in before? MIMI Some of it came in on commercial freighters, I think. This was some brand-new stuff Dile wanted to try, so he had me bring it along with him, and we needed the frigate to fit it all. (beat) I guess I can show you the equipment if you really want. But this is top-secret stuff. And Dile needs to get down there so he can start working. MOUSE OK, OK. (scribbling on his clipboard) I'll clear you guys to land. MIMI (smiling) I appreciate it. Trust me, you'll laugh about this when the mark-6 finally comes out. Mimi and the mouse walk back to the main bay, where the rest of the crew is waiting. MOUSE OK, you guys are clear to land. (to Dile) And hey, good luck, man. DILE (confused) What? The mouse turns to Mimi, who cups her mouth with her paws and urgently mouths the word "secret." MOUSE Oh, right, right. (to Dile) Uh ... never mind. The mouse disembarks. Mimi closes the hatch, then breathes a sigh of relief. DILE What was that all about? MIMI Nothing. Don't worry about it. (thinking) SCENE 10 - HOTEL ROOM, CAPITAL CITY, GANDAR Mimi, wearing plainclothes, sits at a table in this lavish hotel room, typing away on a datapad. Harry steps out of the bathroom, also in plainclothes. HARRY So they're gone? MIMI Yep. Dile went to the tech district, and Jonathan's at a museum or something. You ready to go? HARRY Yeah, let's do this. Mimi nods as she deactivates the datapad, setting it down. SCENE 11 - OUTSKIRTS, CAPITAL CITY, GANDAR The Screaming Mimi, its orange hull making it eminently noticeable, flies toward the outskirts of town, quickly approaching a mountain range. Harry sits in the cockpit next to Mimi. HARRY Do we really have to do this during the daytime? MIMI I just want to get it over with. Besides, there's no one else out here. Harry nods grimly as he watches the scenery fly past. Mimi steers the ship toward a faintly visible cave entrance along the facade of the mountain range. MIMI These are the coordinates. As the ship lands, seven GUERRILLAS run out of the cave, wearing masks and brandishing weapons. They point at the frigate, poised and ready to attack. The hatch opens, and Mimi steps out, her arms raised. MIMI Down, boys. We're just here to deliver your cargo. GUERRILLA #1 In a UAC ship? MIMI You guys really don't communicate with each other, do you? This is the package from Jared Null. Jain hired me to bring it to you. No one else could get the weapons on-planet. After a tense moment of silence, one of the guerrillas, a jackal, nods. Harry notices that the jackal is holding the briefcase Jain showed them through the monitor. JACKAL That adds up. Check the ship. Four of the guerrillas board The Screaming Mimi and look around. They come back out a moment later. GUERRILLA #2 Yep, the weapons are in there. JACKAL Good. Get the forklift and start unloading. Two of the guerrillas run back to the cave. JACKAL (to Mimi) You guys want some coffee? GUERRILLA #3 Boss, are you nuts? They're UAC! JACKAL She just brought us some seriously hot cargo. I think we can trust her. MIMI You can. And thanks for the invite, but I just want to get that briefcase and get out of here. JACKAL Gotcha. (turns to Harry) I believe this is supposed to go to you. Harry enthusiastically accepts the briefcase from the jackal. HARRY Thank you thank you thank you! Harry opens the briefcase a crack and peers inside. HARRY We're good! Mimi, let's dump these weapons and get out of here! A moment later, the two guerrillas emerge from the cave, each driving a forklift. They approach the frigate and park outside it. All the guerrillas board the ship to drag the crates out. JACKAL Do you want to know why we're fighting? MIMI Not really, no. JACKAL But we're fighting against your own institution. MIMI So am I, sometimes. (beat) Everyone's got a beef with someone else. If the government here is dragging you down, at least you're willing to do something about it. As long as you aren't killing people for no good reason, why should I care? The jackal just nods as he watches his men load all the crates onto the forklift. JACKAL You look in those crates? MIMI Nah. JACKAL You're really unenthusiastic. MIMI I really don't want to be a part of this. Just as the forklifts make their way to the cave, loud sirens suddenly pierce the air. Mimi, Harry, and the jackal cover their ears, wincing in pain. They look up to see several police cruisers speeding toward them, both on the ground and in the air. MIMI Shit! JACKAL (angry) You bitch! I trusted you! MIMI I didn't lead them here! At least, not on purpose! HARRY I told you we shoulda waited until night! MIMI But they had no reason to suspect us! Mimi and Harry try to run toward The Screaming Mimi, but a burst of maser fire from an airborne cruiser cuts them off. They run back to where the guerrillas are trading fire with the police. HARRY What do we do? MIMI We take cover and talk our way out of it later! Harry dives behind the nearest large rock, and Mimi joins him. The guerrillas are fighting a losing battle; they're scoring a few hits on the police cruisers, but they're not penetrating the armor. The cops, however, have already killed half the guerrillas. One cruiser speeds toward where Mimi and Harry are hiding. A bulldog POLICEMAN hops out of the cruiser, pointing a maser blaster in front of him. POLICEMAN Paws up! MIMI (under her breath) Ah, frell. Mimi and Harry stand up, their arms raised. POLICEMAN Don't move! Both of you! The policeman approaches Mimi and pulls out a pair of pawcuffs. Mimi mutters something unpleasant. For a mere second, the bulldog takes his eyes off Harry. The hare seizes the opportunity, kicking the policeman in the knees. He howls and falls down, his gun skidding a few feet away from him. Mimi runs toward The Screaming Mimi, while Harry makes a beeline for the cave, clutching the briefcase tightly. Another police cruiser zooms in out of nowhere and intercepts Mimi before she can board. The bulldog policeman, meanwhile, picks up his blaster and shoots at Harry, narrowly missing as the hare gets farther and farther away. As another office cuffs Mimi, the jackal drops dead from police fire. The other guerrillas are already lying on the ground, dead or severely injured. A VOICE comes over a loudspeaker from one the airborne cruisers. VOICE Get in there and root out the rest of 'em. The cruisers turn and face the cave, then begin speeding toward it. They can't quite make out the guerrillas prying open the crates and pulling out large weapons. One guerrilla hoists up a bazooka, while another produces a sizable rifle. They grin as they fire on the cruisers approaching them. Two direct hits cause two of the cruisers to explode. The other cruisers get the hint and immediately retreat, zooming back toward where the other cruisers are. The bulldog policeman sneers. POLICEMAN Damn. (looks over at Mimi) Well, at least we got that one. SCENE 12 - JAIL CELL, POLICE STATION, GANDAR Mimi sits in a chair in an interrogation room. A harsh bright light emanates from the ceiling, and one wall has a long reflective pane of glass along it. The door opens, and an armadillo DETECTIVE walks in, holding a small billfold. DETECTIVE (examining the billfold) Miriam LaFleur. S.P.A.C.E. Frigate Captain. (looks at Mimi) Exactly how stupid do you think I am? MIMI What? That's me. DETECTIVE You really expect me to believe that an S.P.A.C.E. captain would be selling weapons to a bunch of anarchist thugs? MIMI It was a setup. I've been working to gain their trust. As soon as we had good intel on them, we were going to nail them. DETECTIVE And if that's true, then why weren't we notified? MIMI (thinking) We figured it'd be easier if no one else was involved. DETECTIVE Uh-huh. (putting the billfold down) I will admit, you do look like her. And your fake UAC frigate looks pretty nice. You guys are more resourceful than I thought. MIMI It's not a fake frigate! That's The Screaming Mimi! DETECTIVE (shakes his head) We know all about these facsimile UAC frigates running around. They busted Al Negator with one not too long ago. MIMI My ID, my story, and my frigate all add up. What's it going to take to convince you? The detective pauses for a moment, then pulls out a comm. DETECTIVE If you're really here on UAC business, then a call to Chairman Dogstar ought to clear things up, right? Mimi's eyes go wide. MIMI No! Don't call the UAC! DETECTIVE (smirking) And why not? MIMI I ... (sighs) I don't want to get in trouble with the UAC. Fine. I'm not Mimi LaFleur. DETECTIVE Well, that was easy. All I had to do was pretend I could get through to the Chairman. Mimi grits her teeth. She would smack herself if her paws were free. MIMI I want my comm call. DETECTIVE You really think I'm gonna let you call your guerrilla buddies and have them bust you out? MIMI Based on the Fair and Just Treatment Law of 3212, you have to. The detective pauses, a frown forming on his face. DETECTIVE Fine. One call. But we're gonna trace it. The detective walks up to Mimi and helps her stand up. They leave the room and walk into the main room of the station. Another officer assists the detective as he walks Mimi up to a wall comm, uncuffs one paw, and then cuffs the other paw to a pole attached to the wall. Mimi gives a clearly pretend smile as she dials an unlisted number. MIMI (into comm) You were right. Mimi hangs up as quickly as she dialed. The detective raises an eyebrow, then recuffs Mimi and takes her back to the interrogation room. SCENE 13 - JAIL CELL, GANDAR A few hours later, Mimi sits glumly in her cell, turning over possible scenarios in her mind, trying to figure out how to get out of the mess she's in. She barely notices as the armadillo detective walks up to the cell, accompanied by someone else. VOICE That's her. Mimi blinks and looks up. Harry stands next to the armadillo, pointing an accusing finger at Mimi. HARRY I saw her hotwire our frigate. She was in the cockpit as it took off. I didn't have time to stop her. DETECTIVE You sure that's her? HARRY Yep. You were right, she does look a lot like my captain up close. More wrinkles, though, and her left eye is kind of droopy. Mimi scowls at Harry. HARRY (lifting a billfold) This fake UAC badge of hers is pretty good, too. We're gonna have to figure out who made these. (beat) I can handle it from here. We've actually known about her for a while. I'm glad your men managed to catch her for us. She's just an arms smuggler. She was probably contracted to meet with those guerrillas. DETECTIVE Before you take her, I need you to sign some paperwork ... HARRY Sorry, no can do. We need this off the record. Orders from higher up. DETECTIVE (frowning) This is highly irregular ... HARRY You saw my ID. You know who I am. You can take this up with one of my superiors, but they're gonna pretend they don't know anything about this. DETECTIVE I really need you to at least make a statement. HARRY (skeptical) Your force is really on S.P.A.C.E.'s good side right now. Keep it up, and we might even be able to help you deal with those insurgents. The detective ponders for a moment. DETECTIVE Fine. I guess I don't want any trouble from higher up. (unlocking the cell) Where's the real Captain LaFleur right now, anyway? HARRY Probably at the gym. She works out a lot. And she may have just found a new punching bag. (to Mimi) You. Let's go. Mimi fakes a look of anger as the detective and Harry escort her outside. Harry is driving a loaned UAC vehicle. The detective pushes the cuffed Mimi into the back seat and closes the door after her. HARRY Thanks for your help. We'll remember this. Harry starts the vehicle and speeds off. After about ten seconds, Mimi and Harry both let off a sigh of relief. MIMI Harry, you're a genius. HARRY And here I thought you were gonna call me an idiot. MIMI Well, that too. But an idiot with the briefcase, right? HARRY (grins) Safe and sound. MIMI What about the frigate? HARRY Jonathan's on it. SCENE 14 - IMPOUND LOT, GANDAR Jonathan smiles to the desk CLERK as he signs a sheet of paper. JONATHAN I swear, they spend a million simoleans on one of these things, and a common hoodlum can still hotwire 'em. CLERK Yeah, that *is* pretty crazy. And here we thought it was a fake. JONATHAN Nope, that's an S.P.A.C.E. frigate, all right. CLERK Yep, all your papers check out. (beat) The cops did a preliminary search and didn't find anything. If you find anything funny, report it back to them? JONATHAN Absolutely. (smiling) Pleasure doing business with ya. SCENE 15 - HOTEL ROOM, CAPITAL CITY, GANDAR Mimi stumbles into the hotel room and immediately collapses on the bed. MIMI Please tell me it's over. HARRY (lifting up the suitcase) It's over. MIMI Harry, you owe me a thousand foot massages for this. As a start. HARRY I know. Thanks again, Mimi. MIMI (turning her head) And Jonathan ... like I said. You were right. JONATHAN It doesn't matter. What matters is that this is finished, that you're OK, and that you're never doing anything like this again. MIMI (laying her arm across her eyes) Don't have to tell me twice. HARRY I mean, everything worked out. Aside from those cave guys getting the weapons and all, though that probably would have happened anyway. JONATHAN Well, since you mentioned it, that got taken care of, too. Surprised, Mimi opens her eyes and sits up. MIMI What? How? JONATHAN Dile figured out that all the weapons worked on the same electromagnetic frequency. He slipped a pulse detonator in one of the crates. He can remotely activate it any time he wants, and then those weapons won't work anymore. I figured we'd wait until we're off the planet, just in case. MIMI Wait, Dile? How did he know about the weapons? JONATHAN I told him. MIMI (irritated) Why did you do that? I wanted to keep him out of this. He doesn't deserve to get mixed up in crap like this. JONATHAN (shrugs) Give him some credit. He's a sleazasaur. He's used to being in questionable situations without letting them affect him personally. I trusted him with the info, and he fixed it. MIMI (softly) I didn't want him to think less of me for doing this. JONATHAN I told him it was for a good reason. He trusts you. You know that. Mimi just nods, quietly. HARRY (finally) Well, in that case, everything worked out completely! What now? MIMI (lying back down) First, I am napping for a month. (beat) And then, we are actually taking this vacation. SCENE 16 - BEACH, GANDAR The sky is clear and open -- faultless in its beauty. Mimi sits on the beach, leaning back on her chair in the white sand. A parasol protects her from the sun, and a picnic lunch sits in a basket next to her. She relaxes, her eyes scanning the horizon. She wears an unrevealing one-piece black bathing suit and practical sunglasses. She has clearly cobbled all her beach equipment together haphazardly -- the arrangement's not quite there. Harry, wearing a green pair of swim trunks, walks up to Mimi. HARRY (squinting) Having fun, Mimi? MIMI Sitting on my butt and doing nothing? Absolutely. HARRY A typical day for you, right? (noticing) Are you gonna go surfing? Mimi leans back and looks at the surfboard she's placed behind her chair. MIMI Maybe. HARRY I didn't know you surfed. MIMI I don't. But I figured, hey, we're at the beach. HARRY It's just weird, though. MIMI You think it's weird that I might go surfing? HARRY No, the surfboard. I mean, you're not a typical girl. Why'd you get a *pink* one? MIMI To keep you from borrowing it. HARRY Ha ha. Let me guess. You called it The Floating Mimi? Mimi just shakes her head. Harry looks out to the shining sea. HARRY You wouldn't catch me surfing anyway. I think I'm done taking risks. MIMI You better not say that the next time we're in a shootout. HARRY (shrugs) It's not like the toads are ever up to anything nowadays. MIMI The next shootout might not be with the toads. As Mimi sits back up, the comm in her backpack goes off. MIMI Case in point. Mimi reaches into the pack and grabs the comm Jain gave her. She activates it and hears his voice. JAIN (over comm) Mimi. Wanted to congratulate you on a job well done. MIMI (into comm) Thanks. Goodbye. JAIN Wait, wait. Hasty, aren't we? MIMI I have nothing more to say to you. JAIN But I have something to say to you. MIMI I don't want to hear it. JAIN Oh, but you do. I want to hire you. MIMI (blinks) Um ... no. JAIN Admit it, Mimi. You enjoyed the gig. The rush of adrenaline. The slipperiness of it all. The edge. MIMI I get enough adrenaline piloting a wartime frigate, thanks. JAIN You can do that too, of course. I assume there's nothing specifically in your contract preventing you from, shall we say, dalliances on the side? Mimi opens her mouth to speak, but she says nothing. JAIN Think about it, Mimi. A saint is the last thing you'd ever be called, at least by anyone who really knows you. And there's nothing wrong with that. We trust each other now. That's the most important thing in this business. (beat) It's a great escape. Isn't it? Mimi pauses and thinks. She taps her finger on the picnic basket nervously. The pink surfboard sits still. SCENE 17 - DEEP SPACE Mimi, now in her S.P.A.C.E. uniform, helms The Screaming Mimi as it flies back to Genus. Jonathan occupies his own seat. Harry stands behind them. JONATHAN Well, aside from saving your guys' bacon, I enjoyed this vacation. HARRY It certainly had its moments. (beat) I'm still impressed with how far into the ocean you threw that comm, Mimi. MIMI Never get a girl angry, Harry. HARRY Or a lowlife with a girl name. MIMI (chuckling) Those either. Mimi activates the ship's comm. MIMI (into comm) Ready to warp back to Genus? DILE (over comm) Yes, Captain! MIMI Fire that pulse detonator of yours, and then let's get going. And thanks again, Dile. You're one in a billion. The Screaming Mimi jumps into hyperspace, leaving Gandar far behind and heading home to Genus. THE END