Bucky O' Hare In Raising Titanic II By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE Board Room, UAC HQ, Genus FRITZ is present along with BUCKY, MIMI, DOGSTAR, COLONEL RAUL MEW, ANDREW and CORPORAL NASS. Others present are JENNY, LARRY CALLAN and CLAIRE SHEFFIELD. FRITZ: Now, you've all had time to read the said report, and I think you may be interested in what I am about to tell you. LARRY: (Stand up) Chairman, I was 20 in the year 3190, and I can't recall any passenger spaceship crashing in that time. FRITZ: Maybe if I tell you the name, that may bring back memories. As LARRY sits back down, FRITZ clears his throat to speak. FRITZ: We are to find, salvage and rescue Titanic II. Some people in the room begin to mutter, but FRITZ whacks down his hammer to continue speaking. FRITZ: Titanic II, as most of you will know, was a luxurious passenger ship en route to Earth in 3190 before it disappeared in a meteor shower. Survivors in Escape Pods were picked up by the Romania, claiming the invincible spacecraft had broken up in the meteor shower. The wreck has still not yet been found. DOGSTAR: And why is Titanic II of importance to us? It could've crashed into a planet years ago! FRITZ: I'm glad you mentioned that Commander, for this is the reason why. Titanic II was carrying a cargo of rare Iplanium, a chemical the Toads found no use for when they opened up chemical mines on Toxus 4, so they sold it off to Mammal geologists for large sums of cash. What the Toads didn't realise was that Iplanium makes a good explosive when crushed into a supercritical mass. So when the First Toad War broke out, they'd mined out all Iplanium, and there was none left in the Aniverse. Thankfully, they hadn't heard about Titanic II, but we need to locate the wreck before the Toads do. NASS: (Folds out a map on the table) I've marked the sectors of space already searched and spots that need to be checked. If Captain O' Hare, can take Sectors 11-14, would that be fine? BUCKY: It'll take a while, but we'll do it. NASS: Commander Dogstar can take Sectors 21-27. DOGSTAR: Suits me. NASS: Captain LaFleur, Sector 6. MIMI: Fine. NASS: Colonel Mew, Sectors 31 and 32. RAUL: No problem. NASS: And Sub-Lieutenant Norris, you search Sector 39. ANDREW: OK. FRITZ: Right, you all have your assignments, so get to it. They begin to wander off in different directions, preparing for launch. SCENE TWO A Toad Battle Cruiser, Somewhere in Space COMMANDER CREELVARD VALJTHOU is busy watching his ship glide through space, when a call comes through on the videophone for him. He answers it, and it is the AIR MARSHAL. CREELVARD: Air Marshal. AIR MARSHAL: (Shaking) Co...Commander, I've an assignment f...for you. CREELVARD: Yes? AIR MARSHAL: The Mammals a...are searching for the wreck of Titanic II, it con...contains a supply of Ipla...Iplanium. We want you to find the w...wreck first. CREELVARD: Air Marshal, you are stammering. You are showing signs of weakness. AIR MARSHAL: (A little stronger) That is because, Commander, I feel that this is destined to be yet another failure. That is why I'm sending two field agents to assist you. CREELVARD: Very well, I will not fail. AIR MARSHAL: Just find that ship, Air Marshal out. He severs the link, and FRIX and FRAX appear in a Teleporter in a corner of the Bridge. Both run up to greet CREELVARD, offering handshakes. FRIX: Wow! Commander Creelvard in the flesh! FRAX: Yeah, you're so cool! FRIX: Commander, sir, you're my idol! CREELVARD: (Uninterested) Likewise, I'm sure. For the duration of your stay, I am your commanding officer. You will obey my orders and I expect all tasks to be carried out efficiently. Understood? FRIX & FRAX: (In unison) Yes, sir! CREELVARD: Very well, follow me. They follow him down a corridor, ready to start work. SCENE THREE Genus Control Centre GRIFF and FRITZ are discussing the Titanic II over by a small computer, while CORPORAL NASS tries to pinpoint positions of UAC ships in space. FRITZ: Now, the power was maintained by sucking up thermal energy from the surrounding stars. The energy was bombarded onto plates of rubidium inside four huge particle collision chambers. The huge amount of energy from the collisions were then transferred to the Afterburner for speed, with fractions of energy used to maintain an environmental shield around the ship so passengers could walk on deck. GRIFF: And the waste products? FRITZ: They were ejected into space through the smokestacks. She was one of three spacecraft built by Thaddeus Arnolds, a magnificent shipbuilder who'd built many early vessels for Mammal Military. GRIFF: Yes, I am aware of the work of Mr. Arnolds, he developed the first frigates, and was a friend of Admiral-Of-The-Fleet Richard Hudson. Besides, what happened to the other two vessels? FRITZ: Space mines bombarded The Gigantic, Alias Britannic II, during the First Toad War. She'd been commissioned to carry soldiers off Planet Gaul 1 and back to Genus. As for the Oceanic, they reckoned that Arnold's ships had been cursed and she was scrapped shortly before this war began. NASS: (Mutters into headset) Understood, Commander. He turns to GRIFF and FRITZ. NASS: Commander Dogstar claims that he's completed searching Sectors 21 through to 25. Nothing to report as yet. FRITZ: Are their any other ships responding? NASS: Yes, sir, but still no sign of Titanic II. FRITZ: It has to be out there somewhere, a ship 63 times larger than a mammalian frigate can't just vanish into the void of space! NASS: Perhaps it was sucked down a black hole, sir. FRITZ: (Mumbling) Black Hole, yes, perhaps... SCENE FOUR Space, Year 2072 Fireball XL1 is trekking slowly through the depths of space at a calm pace. ZAKARIA is at the controls once again, making his report to Space City. ZAKARIA: XL1 to Space City. Control complete, returning to base. LT. NINETY: (On Radio) Roger XL1, standby to rendezvous with XL27. ZAKARIA: Understood, Lieutenant. XL1 over and out. The radio crackles, as FRITZ begins to speak. FRITZ: Hello, is anyone there? Are you reading me, Commodore? ZAKARIA: I'm reading you, Chairman. Have you activated the jamming beams? FRITZ: Never mind that, I have to ask you a question of vital importance. ZAKARIA: (Puzzled) Yes? FRITZ: What does the name "Titanic II" mean to you? ZAKARIA: Not very much, I'm afraid. Why? FRITZ: We are searching for the wreck of an old spaceship, and we need to know if it is in your universe. ZAKARIA: I'm afraid I've heard nothing about a spaceship wreck called Titanic II. Plus, there is no such wreck of that name in this galaxy. FRITZ: All right, but please let me know if you find out abo... ZAKARIA: (Interrupts) Sorry, Chairman, I have to go! He suddenly changes the frequency of his radio, as a fireball craft hoves into view. It appears to have been damaged by something on the port side in times gone past, and on the huge tailfin and fuel tanks on her wings, are the heading: XL27. The radio crackles once more, as someone begins to speak. XL27 PILOT: (On radio) This is Seymour Griffiths of Fireball XL27 to Zakaria Zerox of Fireball XL1. We're ready to take over patrol of Sector 21, time for us to search for some space wrecks! ZAKARIA chuckles nervously at SEYMOURS comment. SCENE FIVE Creelvard's Toad Cruiser Three TOADS are at separate computer panels busy at work, while CREELVARD watches them from the gallery above. CREELVARD: Report. TOAD #1: We are tracking the Iplanium radiation as we speak, Commander. CREELVARD: Has anything been traced? TOAD #2: (Excited) I've got something! The three TOADS smile slightly; CREELVARD does nothing. TOAD #2: It's bearing...2537 Green. CREELVARD: What is our current position? TOAD #3: One minute...Say, this can't be right! CREELVARD: What is our current position? TOAD #3: (Confused) 2537 Green. CREELVARD: What is being detected at that position? TOAD #2: It's some kind of television wave, Commander. CREELVARD glances over his shoulder, and sees FRIX and FRAX watching Toad TV on a smaller screen. TOAD TV: Hello, and welcome back to this edition of "KOMPLEX & Country", this week, discussing the views and opinions of the current Toad Field Marshal, Bertram... CREELVARD swishes his sword in several strokes. They narrowly miss FRIX & FRAX, but cut the screen to ribbons. Both FRIX & FRAX stand up, though not obediently. FRIX: Whoa! That was so cool, Commander! FRAX: Yeah, could you teach me that? CREELVARD: Get back to your posts and stay there, you are not in the military to watch television. FRIX: Yeah, but what about... CREELVARD: (Still emotionless) Question my orders and you shall be shot. The two move off, gulping slightly. CREELVARD moves back to the three TOADS. CREELVARD: Continue to monitor for any signs of Iplanium activity. TOAD #1: Commander, I'm picking up weak waves of astro-radiation. It could be the Iplanium. CREELVARD: Bearing? TOAD #1: 3176 Blue. CREELVARD: Alter course for that spot. TOAD #2: Changing course now, Commander. CREELVARD fixes his eyes on the way ahead. SCENE SIX Space, Bearing 3176 Blue The Righteous Indignation hovers over a large asteroid field, where there appears to have been much destruction. There are no planets in sight, but as the Righteous hovers over something, JENNY'S instruments bleep frantically. JENNY: Bucky, the astro-radiation levels are high here, the Titanic II must be close. BUCKY: Did you get that, Nass? NASS: (On Radio) Roger that, all available vessels are heading to rendezvous with you. BUCKY: Thanks, O' Hare out. He switches off the radio and turns to JENNY. BUCKY: Jenny, start tracking that radiation, we should be quite close to the ship by now. JENNY presses a small button, and the scanners whir into life. Small oscilloscopes pick up the vibrations that are swirling in the void of space, until... JENNY: Large object dead ahead. BUCKY: (Shouts) Deadeye, switch on your floodlights! DEADEYE: (From below) Aye, Cap'n! Two powerful floodlights concealed inside the barrels of DEADEYE'S maser switch on. The ship treks for some time, when they come across what appears to be a huge, hollow cylinder, with two neon discs around the top. The lower half appears to have snapped off something, making BUCKY smile slightly. BUCKY: A smokestack, we're burning up! JENNY: (Stunned, Looking ahead) Bucky...Look! Ahead of them lies a mammoth object, rusted brown and crippled slightly. A large set of hairline cracks run down the centre of the thing, with an enormous kind of exhaust at one end of the object. Atop are three further cylinders with the neon discs, with the second missing for an unknown reason. As DEADEYE shines the floodlights across the monster, it takes on the shape of an ocean liner with all the workings of a spaceship. As the floodlights stream towards the "bow", the words TITANIC II appear out of the darkness. BUCKY and JENNY begin to laugh as they cuddle one another. BUCKY grabs the radio quickly with his free hand. BUCKY: (Merrily) This is Captain O' Hare to Genus Control! Confirmed, we have found Titanic II! Repeat: We have found Titanic II! Down below, the din of BRUISER, DEADEYE and WILLY cheering can be clearly heard. SCENE SEVEN Creelvard's Cruiser CREELVARD is speaking to TOAD AIR MARSHAL on a videophone. CREELVARD: We have located the Iplanium source, and we are heading to rendezvous now. AIR MARSHAL: (Keeping calm) And the mammals? CREELVARD: They all appear to be gathering at the rendezvous point, except for Fireball XL6 who is returning to Genus. AIR MARSHAL: When you arrive, eliminate them. CREELVARD: Thank you. AIR MARSHAL: What else have you to report? CREELVARD: The rangerscopes previously detected another craft in the vicinity, but it soon disappeared off our scanners. There were three biped lifeforms on board with one robot drone. AIR MARSHAL: Anything else? CREELVARD: Only that I must protest at the incompetence of the two Officer Cadets assigned to my crew. They have done nothing useful since they arrived. AIR MARSHAL: They are there to monitor your actions, Creelvard. Remember that, Air Marshal out. The link is severed, and CREELVARD notices FRIX & FRAX eyeing up a TOAD WAITRESS in the adjacent Mess. SCENE EIGHT Space City, Year 2072 COMMANDER ZERO and LIEUTENANT NINETY are busy at work at their semi- circular consoles adjacent to one another in the Control Room, when ZAKARIA enters from the Lift. ZAKARIA: (Salutes) Commodore Zerox reporting for duty. ZERO: (Salutes back) At ease, Zakaria. Anything to report? ZAKARIA: No, Commander. The XL27 has begun its patrol of Sector 21. Clara is in her quarters now. NINETY: Pardon me, sirs, but Colonel Zodiac wishes to speak to the Commander. COMMANDER ZERO sits back at his console. ZERO: Space City to Fireball XL5, come in Steve, over. STEVE: (On Radio, American Accent) This is Fireball XL5 to Space City. Patrol of Sector 4 complete. ZERO: Roger, Zodiac. Anything to report your end? STEVE: Negative, Commander. We did find a huge shipwreck out in space; we just tagged it and left it there. I don't know why Rear-Admiral Iqbal didn't see it. ZERO: Remember, Steve. The XL14 is out for repairs, and Thadeel can't be everywhere! I'm sending up Fireball XL4 to take over patrol. STEVE: Roger, Commander. XL5 out. NINETY: (To Microphone) Calling Luke Rudd and Space Corporal Lock, please have Fireball XL4 ready for take off at once. ZERO: Gee, spaceship wrecks, whatever next, Commodore? ZAKARIA: (Nervously) Yes, Commander. Whatever next? SCENE NINE Titanic II The four frigates are hovering around the dead vessel. Each frigate seems miniscule when compared to the enormous ship. JENNY is in a Toad Croaker as she inspects the damage of the ship. Attached to one of the enormous hairline cracks is a piece of paper, which JENNY tears off and places in a compartment of the Croaker. Another Croaker floats overhead, inspecting the damage of the wrecked smokestack. JONATHON pilots the Croaker steadily over to JENNY. JONATHON: Looks like she's in a bad way, it'll be touch-and-go once we get her moving. JENNY: Do you think that four frigates will be enough? JONATHON: The least we can do is try. It would be too dangerous to start wandering around the ship until we get her safely back to Genus. JENNY: OK, let's get moving. The two Croakers return to their ships and the platforms slam shut. JENNY removes her helmet and pulls out the piece of paper she found previously. WILLY: What you got there, Jen? JENNY: A piece of paper that I just can't translate. Can you read this? WILLY reads the English words that are indecipherable to JENNY. WILLY: (Reads Paper) Official Tag of the World Space Patrol. Tagged Fri. 26th November at Space Clock reading 19:41:17 by Colonel Steve Zodiac of World Space Patrol vessel, Fireball XL5 whilst replacing Fireball XL14 on routine patrol of Sector 4. JENNY: (Going wide-eyed) Do you think they saw us? WILLY: Let's hope not, maybe Blinky picked up something. BLINKY: (Waddles up) Can humble Android be of assistance? JENNY: Blinky, did you detect any spacecraft at 19:41:17 Space Clock Reading? BLINKY: Negative, accurate reading in databanks matches the lift-off of good ship, Righteous Indignation, from Genus Control. WILLY: (Sighs) That was close! BUCKY: (From above) Hold on tight, everyone, we're about to get moving! The four frigates line up alongside Titanic II; The Righteous and Indefatigable on the Port, Screaming Mimi and Fearless on the Starboard. Each frigate fires two grappling hooks each that cling tightly onto the brittle wreck. All four mammal vessels fire up, as the wreck of Titanic II slowly and surely begins to move slowly away until it is under total control of the frigates. None of them notice the Toad Cruiser lurking behind them. SCENE TEN Creelvard's Cruiser CREELVARD watches the rusting titan moving slowly away from sight, towed by the smaller craft. TOAD #1: Shall I open fire, Commander? CREELVARD: No, if we fire at random, the Iplanium could react to the heat and explode. Target the Righteous Indignation. TOAD #2: Righteous Indignation targeted. CREELVARD: Use an atomic warhead locked onto Captain O' Hares genetic code. They type a few buttons. TOAD #2: Atomic Warhead in place, locking onto O' Hare's genetic DNA now. CREELVARD: Fire. Before they can do anything, there is an explosion from beneath the Cruiser, rocking it this way and that. CREELVARD: Report. TOAD #3: Atomic Warhead exploded on launch, contact lost with Launch Bay 4. CREELVARD: How did the ship explode? TOAD #2: Radio Waves from our own instruments, Commander. CREELVARD: (To himself) Frix and Frax. TOAD #1: Your orders, sir? CREELVARD: Withdraw to the Mothership for repairs, and have Frix and Frax brought up on deck immediately. TOAD #2: Shall I collect them, Commander? CREELVARD: Yes. TOAD #2 walks off, while the other two TOADS begin to type into their consoles. With a roar of engines, the smoking Cruiser limps slowly away. SCENE ELEVEN Genus Titanic II looks even more impressive in the sunlight, as the frigates gently take her down through the atmosphere, now with Fireball XL6 to help with her final descent. Everyone has come out to cheer them on, even members of The Home Guard. As Titanic II is brought down on a grassy field next to Genus Control, CORPORAL NASS, GRIFF, FRITZ and some TECHNICIANS watch from the balcony of the Tower. With a heavy thump, the iron giant is down, and the crews of the ships pouring out of their vessels to greet people who have come to see. FRITZ and GRIFF eventually show up with CORPORAL NASS and a HARE TECHNICIAN carrying a large stepladder between them. FRITZ: Well, let's go find that Iplanium, shall we? BUCKY: I'll have a look too. NASS: (To Technician) Make sure nobody gets towards the ship. TECHNICIAN: Yes, Corporal. As GRIFF, BUCKY and FRITZ venture into the ship's interior, everything seems surreal. The furniture has rotted away completely, while the rooms, bare of furnishings and decorations, are nothing more than empty spacious areas. After hours of descending rusting metal stairways and walking along deteriorated corridors, they come to a door marked in English and Aniversian, the English Translation being "STORAGE AREA 17- A, STRICTLY NO ADMITTANCE" FRITZ: Bucky, the door please. BUCKY: Fine by me. GRIFF: (Frantic) For goodness sake, be careful, Captain! The tiniest sudden increase in heat could send us to Kingdom Come! BUCKY: No need to worry, Griff, my maser is on low-heat; you'll be fine. He fires his maser following the shape of the door. BUCKY then wallops the door with his foot, as the door crashes to the ground. Almost immediately, they come face to face with a Hare Skeleton, much of it wrapped in a naval uniform. GRIFF: Heavens above! What is that? FRITZ: The late Petty Officer Edmund Giles, the only person to have admittance to the Storage Areas. GRIFF: I had a feeling rescuing this ship was a bad idea. We are walking in a decaying citadel of forgotten souls, Fritz. I feel uncomfortable about being here. FRITZ: OK, Griff. If you feel unhappy about it, then go back to the others. GRIFF frantically rushes off, whilst FRITZ and BUCKY begin to search the Storage Room. BUCKY: I wonder what happened to him. FRITZ: Who? BUCKY: We detected a Toad Cruiser in the area as we began to tow Titanic II out of the Asteroid Belt, but instead of attacking, he just blew up and scuttled away. FRITZ: Never mind that now, Bucky. The sooner we find this Iplanium the better. If we do actually find it. SCENE TWELVE The Toad Mothership CREELVARD is addressing KOMPLEX with TOAD AIR MARSHAL, FRIX & FRAX. KOMPLEX: And you say that it was Frix and Frax who interfered with your investigations. CREELVARD: Correct, mighty KOMPLEX; whenever my men tried to track the Astro-Radiation signals, these two inefficient Officer Cadets did nothing but watch Toad TV, the radio waves of which being mistaken for the signals omitted by the Iplanium. FRIX: Hey, we were doing what we always do! FRAX: You can't do this to us, Commander; we're your No. 1 admirers! KOMPLEX: Silence! Continue, Commander Valjthou. CREELVARD: When I noticed the Mammals removing the Titanic II, I armed an atomic missile locked onto Bucky O' Hare's genetic tissue. The Toad TV signals scrambled the workings and placed my Cruiser out of commission. KOMPLEX: Frix, Frax, Air Marshal, I shall deal with you three later; but first, I wish to know what happened to the Iplanium. CREELVARD: Our signals reveal that an unidentified craft we detected earlier had ransacked the ships hold of the Iplanium, resealing the door to the Hold afterwards. The location of the ship is unknown. SCENE THIRTEEN Space City, Year 2072 A large metal crate of a glowing purple powder is sat in the middle of the Control Room, with STEVE ZODIAC, A 30-year-old man with a quiff of blonde hair and dashing blue eyes, accompanies COMMANDER ZERO and LIEUTENANT NINETY. The disc on STEVE'S uniform indicates that he is a member of the XL5 crew. ZERO: Gee, Steve! This stuff is what you found on the ship! STEVE: That's right, Commander. Professor Matic and Robert helped me to get it on board. NINETY: What is it called? STEVE: I don't know, Lieutenant, it sure beats me. ZERO: Well, from this moment on, Steve, you have discovered the first source of Zodiacium! THE END