Bucky O' Hare In Only Skin Deep By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE Personnel Records, Genus MIMI is snooping for information as usual in the middle of the night. She stumbles upon a file labelled, "CALLAN, LARRY" in Aniversian. MIMI: (Cheekily) I know what you did, Larry. She opens the file, and briefly reads some of the contents out loud. MIMI: Name: Larry Edgar Callan, Planet Of Origin: Warren, Date Of Birth: 7th Jingtober 3170... Her voice trails of as she double-checks the. D.O.B. MIMI: Stone the Toads! He's 55! SCENE TWO Officers' Bar, Genus, The following morning LARRY CALLAN is busy playing darts with LIEUTENANT WOLF. BUCKY is sat at a table with COMMANDER DOGSTAR and JENNY; all three are sipping drinks and talking incoherently. DOGSTAR: I've been told that the Colonel has been given 1 month's leave while they search for a new crew. BUCKY: At least he has an excuse, the lucky twit. DOGSTAR: True, but he's only got about three weeks worth left! Besides, his ship is almost complete, anyway! JENNY: As long as we can get more ships flying, that's fine by me. BUCKY: True, but three frigates and one converted patrol-cum-rescue vessel nearly 1157 years out of date still isn't much of a fleet. DOGSTAR: We're lucky to have a Rescue Ship at all! I reckon finding that goofball was sheer luck. BUCKY: True, but if he really *is* Chuck Bodgers, or claims to be, why is he 7 centuries off? If you ask me, that guy is disturbed. JENNY: Can't blame him for that. Anyway, Dogstar's right. We need all the help we can get. LIEUTENANT WOLF and LARRY CALLAN sit down beside them, both with a drink in their hand. WOLF: So, what's the gossip? DOGSTAR: (Mimics Newsreader) Today's top story. Sub-Lieutenant Norris. Raving lunatic or ageing superhero? BUCKY laughs slightly at the joke, but takes no notice. WOLF: What about him? He's just a chubby baboon living in a world of machinery and lives in a cloud of smoke. LARRY: (Sips his drink) I don't know him well enough, so I can't comment. BUCKY: How about if we change the subject? WOLF: Pity, I was getting used to that conversation! I always thought that guy was a... DOGSTAR: OK, Wolf. That'll do. Anyway, back to politics. JENNY: (Glumly) As if anything else ever happens. Enter MIMI, clutching a photocopy of LARRY'S file. She calls him over, with a face like thunder. He walks over, shaking vigorously in fear. LARRY: What's wrong, Mimi? MIMI: Can you explain to me why you are a 50 year old, masquerading as someone 2 decades younger? LARRY: (Sternly) Where did you get that paper? MIMI: (Getting Angry) Don't play games with me, Larry! Now tell me, WHAT'S GOING ON! BUCKY and DOGSTAR walk over, while LARRY just shivers. BUCKY: What's going on? DOGSTAR: Yes, old chaps. What's all the commotion? MIMI: (Hands them the paper) Read this. They read the paper, both wide-eyed. DOGSTAR: Born 3170? LARRY: (Quivers) I...If you sit down, I'll t...tell you. They go and sit down, with JENNY and WOLF completely oblivious to the matter. LARRY is the last to sit down. He takes a long sip of his drink and begins to speak. LARRY: Back in 3205, I visited the planet Oceanus 7, in Sector 16. I was there on a Scientific Expedition with a few colleagues from the Institute. When we were searching a few underground caves, I fell into an extinct geyser. I thought I'd drown, but luckily the group rescued me. They never told me what had happened to me, but when I checked one of the planetary maps when we returned to Genus, it said that I'd fallen into the Rejuvenation Springs. BUCKY: Of course! The waters that can stop time! LARRY: Yes. And I've always been like this ever since. It can be unbearable at times, but I learn to cope with it. I've never spoken about it ever since. WOLF: That accounts for your passion for antiques! LARRY: True. The only thing that can change me back is something disturbing the planet. I really don't want to change back, now I'm so used to being young. You see, I... He stops, his face frozen in a state of shock. He collapses to the floor. Everyone helps him up, while WOLF goes for an ambulance. JENNY: What's wrong with him? SCENE THREE Oceanus 7, Sector 16, Space The planet is up to the brim with water, almost like an ocean planet. There are large regions of ice at the poles, and there are one or two rocky islands around the equator, the home to many geysers and water- ushers. A fleet of Toad Double-Bubbles begin to fly across the planet, spraying masers into the water to kill off any sea mammals, creating smog of superheated steam in the process. On one of the islands, A TOAD begins to speak onto his radio. His uniform appears to be of a very high rank, perhaps halfway between THE AIR MARSHAL and CAPTAIN SMATA. It is an apple green uniform with golden ensigma over the thin, lanky figure it sits in, while the eyes are glowing with pure evil inside his body. TOAD: This is The Fleet Pilot to all Toads. I want the oceans scoured for any mammals. I want several submarines down here now! While you're about it, get some technicians down here; these caves would make excellent spaceports. And hurry! KOMPLEX wants this planet conquered now! He rushes off into the mist, while the Double Bubbles continue to ransack the planet. It is obvious this planet is a walkover for the Toad Empire. SCENE FOUR The Toad Homeworld KOMPLEX listens to the report given by TOAD AIR MARSHAL. AIR MARSHAL: The invasion is proceeding as planned, oh mighty KOMPLEX. We are sending down submarines to search for any sea mammals, and The Fleet Pilot suggests we set up airfields on the islands. KOMPLEX: Very well, Air Marshal. He has permission. I think it is because of The Fleet Pilot that the plan is actually a success. You should be honoured that you were permitted to participate, even after your record of monumental blunders. AIR MARSHAL: (Nervously) I am honoured, oh mighty KOMPLEX. KOMPLEX: Also, I want you to make sure The Fleet Pilot does not get too bigheaded. AIR MARSHAL: Bigheaded KOMPLEX? KOMPLEX: Yes. Remember, you are his superior, and I want everyone to be kept in line. I do not trust you, Air Marshal, but I trust The Fleet Pilot even less. His screen goes blank, while THE AIR MARSHAL turns to his computer. AIR MARSHAL: Attention Coastal Detachment, I want at least 11 submarines on Oceanus 7 now! I want some mines planted all over the sea! Now get moving, now! SCENE FIVE Watership Hospital, Genus LARRY groans as he wakes up in a ward, alone. He gets up; his back feels weak and painful. As no one is around, he walks towards the door, looking for a doctor or a nurse. LARRY: Hello! Anyone here? He spots a mirror by the wall. Looking into it, LARRY is beginning to grey in patches across his body. He slumps back on the bed in horror, before falling back to sleep. Outside, BUCKY, MIMI, JENNY and A SQUIRREL DOCTOR are talking. DOCTOR: It appears that he is ageing at an alarming rate. We don't know what has caused this or why it is occurring. MIMI: Could you give him something to slow it down? DOCTOR: Well, we have a chemical named Wellixilin, a form of hydrogen- oxygen combine from Oceanus 3. All of the oceanic planets have special springs to prevent this form of illness. Sadly, it will only work for a short time. BUCKY: How long will the Wellixilin work for? DOCTOR: Five or six hours, no longer. In the meantime, I shall do my best to kill this or cure it. BUCKY: (Thinks) JENNY: Thank you, Dr. Kenner. I think Larry may wish to see this person. She hands him a small calling card. DOCTOR: (Reads Card) "Mrs. C. Sheffield"? MIMI: Old friend of his. DOCTOR: Very well. I shall see if Mr. Callan wishes to see her. He walks off, while JENNY and BUCKY walk out of the hospital towards the Control Tower. BUCKY: I wouldn't be surprised if The Toads had anything to do with this. JENNY: We'll know soon enough, Bucky. SCENE SIX Genus Control Centre CORPORAL NASS is speaking into his control panel, with a few technicians hovering in the background. NASS: This is Genus Control Centre to The Valentine, landing request granted. You may land at Landing Pad 1-B. BRIGADIER: (On Radio) Valentine to Genus Control. Landing orders received. Am landing now, over and out. BUCKY and JENNY barge in, panting for breath, unnoticed by the technicians. NASS gets up and walks over to them. NASS: Are you alright, Captain? BUCKY: We're fine, Nass. We need to fly to Oceanus 7, right away. NASS: I'm sorry, Captain. But The Valentine is just coming in with some tritomic missiles. I wouldn't want anyone hurt, besides that I need permission from Chairman Warner before you do anything. JENNY: Nass, It's for Larry. NASS drops his face. He has never known any of his friends in the UAC to be in a danger bad enough to send out a frigate. NASS: Larry? I never knew he was sick. Very well, get your ship and get going. They run off to the ship, while NASS continues to shout at them. NASS: Be careful of the Valentine! And good luck to you both! He stops shouting; the TECHNICIANS around him are staring at him. NASS: (To technicians) Don't just stand there! Get on with your work! SCENE SEVEN Oceanus 7 Toad Submarines are now placing mines across the oceans of the planet, while several TOADS are measuring and surveying the islands. THE FLEET PILOT is on one island, and speaks to A TOAD, in the uniform of a mechanic. PILOT: Well? TOAD #1: These caverns will make excellent hangars for our Double Bubbles, and there is plenty of room for a laboratory and maybe even... PILOT: I don't mean that, you imbecile! How long will it take to construct them! TOAD #1: (Trembles) I...I'm sorry sir. We all...we all make mistakes. PILOT: (Furious) Mistakes? Mighty KOMPLEX cannot afford to have servants who make mistakes! THE FLEET PILOT shoots THE TOAD, as he collapses to the ground, dead. The other TOADS look on, while THE FLEET PILOT approaches another TOAD. PILOT: You, how long will work here be completed? TOAD #2: Approximately 6 1/2 hours, sir. PILOT: Excellent. Inform me immediately when the work is complete. TOAD #2: Yes, sir. They continue to work, machines pipe and whistle across the caves, impaling the springs inside with lumps of rock and dirt. SCENE EIGHT Genus Control Centre FRITZ and KADAF enter, and approach CORPORAL NASS. NASS: (Salutes) Good day, sir. FRITZ: (Salutes back) What is there to report, Corporal? NASS: Well, The Valentine has returned from the Lobster Nebula and salvaged some unexploded tritomic warheads from the wreckage of a Toad Cruiser. The Fearless is almost complete, and the techs are adding the final plating. His voice slowly lowers in volume as he speaks. NASS: (Mutters to himself) And Captain O' Hare has gone to quench some fighting on Oceanus 7... FRITZ: What did you just say? NASS: (Wishing he hadn't mentioned it) Nothing, Chairman, nothing. FRITZ: What did you say about Captain O' Hare? NASS: Who said anything about Captain O' Hare? KADAF: C'mon, Shrew-Boy. Out with it! NASS: Alright. Larry's come down with something, and Bucky took off to Oceanus 7, something about a Toad Invasion. FRITZ: You WHAT? SCENE NINE The Righteous Indignation BUCKY and JENNY are on course to Oceanus Seven, flying at light speed. The radio crackles when FRITZ begins to speak. FRITZ: (Furious) Bucky, what the frell are you doing? BUCKY: Fritz? How did you know where I was? FRITZ: A cowardly little shrew told me. Turn back now, an invasion force that size is no match for a single frigate. BUCKY: I'm sorry, Fritz. But if it's for a friend, then I can't turn my back on him. FRITZ: What's all this about Larry, anyway? BUCKY: Go to Watership Hospital and you'll see. O' Hare out. He severs the link before FRITZ can continue. SCENE TEN Genus Control Centre FRITZ has a pair of radio headphones on, when BUCKY severs the link. KADAF and NASS watch in interest. FRITZ: Damn! KADAF: What's up, Fritz? FRITZ: He's cut off. He's obsessed about saving Larry's life. C'mon, Kadaf, you and me are going to Watership Hospital. They begin to walk off. NASS: Sir? What about the Captain? FRITZ stops, thinks for a few minutes, and gives him the answer. NASS: Call out the XL6. SCENE ELEVEN Officer's Lounge, Genus The only members here are the entire crew of Fireball XL6. BUTCH, the lion and reject of Nharnia, is exercising with a punch bag in the far corner of the room. AMD-4, The Medical Android, is pulling out some tonics and remedies that have been coiled in his wires. HANNAH, The Alderbarren navigator, sits on an armchair, reading a book about Marine Biology, while ANDREW, the chubby pilot, sits on the sofa, playing cards with himself. A klaxon suddenly blares, and CORPORAL NASS begins to speak. NASS: (On Tannoy) Attention! Attention! Rescue Ship XL6 required for immediate takeoff for the planet Oceanus 7, Sector 16. Would the crew please report to (Coughs) Launch Bay 2-A. AMD-4: (Buzzing) Cough, the production of phlegm within the oesophagus to prevent any... NASS: I repeat, report to Launch Bay 2-A and fly to Oceanus 7 in Sector 16. ANDREW: (Puts down his cards) Finally, something to do! BUTCH: (Walks towards the door) Look out, Toadies, here I come! HANNAH: No rest for the wicked, eh? ANDREW: Good, by the time we get there, the Toads should be exhausted! AMD-4: (Follows them) Exhaustion, the production of lactic acid within the muscles during anaerobic respiration and the lack of oxygen present in the lungs. Best cure, a rest in an area where oxygen may be present, or to simply sit down in order for the amount of lactic acid to... His voice trails off as they turn into the corridors. SCENE TWELVE Watership Hospital LARRY is now almost completely grey. He sits on the bed, breathing heavily. A packet of the Wellixilin is connected to his bloodstream rather like a blood transfusion. THE SQUIRREL DOCTOR from earlier is outside, and opens the door for CLAIRE SHEFFIELD to come in. DOCTOR: I can give you just twenty minutes, no more, no less. MISS SHEFFIELD: Thank you, doctor. He closes the door. LARRY looks over to her, and smiles. MISS SHEFFIELD pulls up a chair and sits beside him, stroking his face. MISS SHEFFIELD: Larry, dear Larry, what have they done? LARRY: Don't worry about me, Claire. They had to know the truth eventually. MISS SHEFFIELD: I know. But what about you? LARRY: I really don't know, it's all up to Bucky, now. MISS SHEFFIELD: Bucky? What has he got to do with it? LARRY: He's gone to Oceanus 7 to find out what's wrong. MISS SHEFFIELD: I just hope he hurries up. Her head sinks into her hands, as she begins to cry. MISS SHEFFIELD: (Cries) I...I just can't afford to lose you, Larry. As she cries, LARRY tries to stroke her hair with an almost immobile hand. LARRY: It's alright. Everything'll be OK. SCENE THIRTEEN Oceanus 7 THE FLEET PILOT watches an armada of Toad Submarines sail out across the planet. Several mines are littered around the coast of the small island, and THE AIR MARSHAL'S ship has landed atop of an extinct volcano, the very summit of the island. THE AIR MARSHAL is with him, and is watching the progress of the invasion. AIR MARSHAL: Excellent. Just excellent. PILOT: What do we do after this, sir? AIR MARSHAL: Fleet Pilot, for such a high-ranking officer, you are quite stupid. PILOT: (Snarls) I ask through knowledge, Air Marshal, sir. AIR MARSHAL: If you really must know, the mammals get most of their water from this planetary network. There are seven planets in the whole network; all but this one are guarded. Once we establish a base here, we can invade the others and make the mammals die of thirst until they surrender. PILOT: I understand. Where do I come into all of this? AIR MARSHAL: You are The Fleet Pilot. You pilot the fleet to those planets. A TOAD wanders down from the caverns. There is a look of worry on his face. TOAD: Sir! We've detected The Righteous Indignation approaching fast sir! AIR MARSHAL: What? Fleet Pilot, you told me this planet was inaccessible! PILOT: Where is it? TOAD: Come and see, sirs. He takes them to a radar screen set up like a Tracking Station on the shore. A RADAR OPERATOR, again a Toad, is watching the screen curiously. THE FLEET PILOT and THE AIR MARSHAL come over, while THE TOAD takes his leave of them. AIR MARSHAL: Well? OPERATOR: There it is, sir. Bearing 4829 Yellow on the screen, on free- float by the planet's moon. They both look at the screen. Sure enough, the screen shows a small dot at the exact bearing. THE FLEET PILOT notices a larger ship at the bottom of the screen. PILOT: What is that? OPERATOR: What, sir? PILOT: Another ship below, Bearing 3732 Yellow. THE RADIO OPEARTOR checks the bearing. OPERATOR: Unknown, sir. It could be a Toad Cruiser. PILOT: Don't be stupid! It's too narrow and furthermore to long! AIR MARSHAL: That'll do, Fleet Pilot. Do we have any Double Bubble's nearby? OPERATOR: No sir, but we do have those from the Cruiser, sir. AIR MARSHAL: Send those out, immediately! I want that rabbit fricasseed! There is a din of croaking noises, as a hoard of Double Bubbles fly off the planet and begin their journey into space. SCENE FOURTEEN In Orbit around Oceanus 7. The Righteous Indignation hovers above the planet, ready for re-entry, when the Double Bubbles begin to swarm around them like a nest of angry bees. Down in the armoury, DEADEYE has the cannon ready. DEADEYE: 'Bout time! It's been too long since ol' Deadeye gots to croak some Toadies! He fires to and fro, destroying three or four at a time. No matter how many times he fires, the Toad Fleet is still too big. DEADEYE: Bucky! Fritz was right! There be too many o' them! BUCKY: (From above) I know! We're taking a pounding! But we've got to get them as far away from the planet as the Righteous can take us! DEADEYE: Geez! Can't we just get backup or somethin'? BUCKY: (Quietly) Not a bad idea. He turns to JENNY. BUCKY: Try and get a hold of Nass if you can. JENNY: OK, Buck. Do you want me to contact Willy? Our engines are taking an awful beating. The ship shudders as a Double Bubble opens fire on her. BUCKY: So long as you make it snappy. JENNY switches on the radio, and begins to speak. JENNY: This is the Righteous Indignation to Genus Control, come in Genus Control! SCENE FIFTEEN Genus Control Centre CORPORAL NASS is at the radio set with MIMI. The radio signal from The Righteous Indignation is very weak, and almost inaudible over the static. JENNY: (Hissing) Calling Genus Control! Come in Genus Contr... The signal finally stops; they have lost contact altogether. MIMI: How far away is The XL6? NASS: Just 1500 kiloglides off. MIMI: Damn! C'mon, Andy. If Bucky goes, then I lose my best gunner. NASS: Let's just hope for the best. SCENE SIXTEEN The Righteous Indignation The ship is taking quite a beating. The Double Bubbles are penetrating the forcefield quite well. DEADEYE is still firing random shots, and has destroyed a quarter of the attacking fleet. At one point, a Double Bubble flies toward the surface of Oceanus 7 after being hit, crashes into a mine, and causes a small tidal wave to wash a few Technicians out to sea. THE FLEET PILOT watches along with THE AIR MARSHAL the havoc up in the sky. AIR MARSHAL: You should be privileged, Fleet Pilot that you are about to witness the extermination of The Toad Empire's greatest threat. PILOT: At long last, we shall be rid of that meddlesome rabbit forever. The Righteous Indignation now has every Toad Maser locked onto her. As the engines power up, BUCKY and JENNY embrace one another, knowing this is the end. BUCKY: Well, Jenny. We did our best. JENNY: We should've listened to Fritz. BUCKY: Too late for that now. The leading craft of the fleet is suddenly destroyed by an unknown cause. The TOADS in their Double Bubbles look around in confusion, and see the XL6 hovering nearby, with tritomic missiles at the ready. BUCKY and JENNY loosen their grip on one another, and look towards the silvery titan. BUCKY: (Smiles) Looks like Fritz does care for Larry after all. SCENE SEVENTEEN Navigation Bay, Fireball XL6 HANNAH is sat at a chair with a circular table rotating about her. A computer screen is fixed in a permanent position on the desk, which HANNAH follows by swivelling her chair. BUTCH is sat at a smaller desk in the far corner, with instruments beeping and buzzing on the desktop. HANNAH: Secondary Leading Craft, range 23-0 Green. BUTCH: (Types computer) 23-0 Green. HANNAH: Master guidance system, TGQ. BUTCH: Roger, TGQ. Interceptor 2 ready, Jamming beam operating. HANNAH: Ten Seconds. Another of XL6's tritomic warheads fires at another Double Bubble, causing a terrific explosion. Two other Double Bubbles are caught in the blast, but are only damaged. While all this is happening, The Righteous Indignation has broken free and is heading towards the planet. HANNAH watches this on her computer screen. HANNAH: (Quietly) Good Luck, Captain. BUTCH: Hey! What about that range? HANNAH: Hmm? Oh yeah! Range 24-5 Blue for Squadron Leader. SCENE SEVENTEEN Oceanus 7 The Righteous Indignation slowly lands and BRUSIER steps out. Some TOADS retreat the planet at the sight of him. Others stand their ground and begin to fight. BRUISER: Hey! No stinkin' Toadies is gonna kill my buddy! PILOT: We Toads are not afraid of meddlesome Berserker Baboons! TOADS: Yes we are! There are the sounds of Double Bubbles flying away, until the only Toads left are THE FLEET PILOT, THE AIR MARSHAL, THE RADIO OPERATOR, and TWO TECHNICIANS. All fearless and firm. BRUSIER: I'm warning yous guys. Yous is messing with the wrong baboon! AIR MARSHAL: On the contrary, Bruiser. It is you who is messing with the wrong empire. Out of the water springs a single Toad Submarine, with three TOADS on deck. They open fire on BRUISER until he is knocked unconscious. THE FLEET PILOT walks over to the limply body, and taps it with his foot. PILOT: I'm sure this brute could be useful to us, once he is taken for brainwashing. BUCKY: On the contrary, it is you who will be useful when you are imprisoned. THE FLEET PILOT turns around, to be confronted by BUCKY, JENNY, DEADEYE and WILLY. All of them are holding the TOADS hostage. THE AIR MARSHAL is sweating nervously, while THE FLEET PILOT does nothing but scowl at the incident. BUCKY: Now, Fleet Pilot, if that is your real rank, surrender now and I'll spare your precious Air Marshal. AIR MARSHAL: Do as he says. I've got too many medals to sacrifice. PILOT: Do you really believe, Captain O' Hare, that the Toad Empire would surrender because you wish to shoot a fat, pompous twit? AIR MARSHAL: (Mutters) KOMPLEX is right; he is getting bigheaded. PILOT: (Continued) One simple death cannot stop our glorious march towards victory. The UAC is only a minor irritant to KOMPLEX. You are like the buzzing of flies to him. All this time, THE FLEET PILOT does not see Fireball Jr. sneak up from the sky. This ship is the detachable cockpit, which may act as a reconnaissance vehicle. Inside are ANDREW and AMD-4. The TOADS inside the submarine notice this, and watch its shadow blacken out the sunlight on the submarine's hull. PILOT: (Still Continued) Once you are obliterated, we shall crush any mammal resistance in the Aniverse, and eventually obliterate the Communist scum! Nobody can stop KOMPLEX from creating a better world. TOAD: (On Submarine) Sir... PILOT: Be quiet, I'm on a roll. TOAD: But Fleet Pilot, sir, I... PILOT: (Spins round) Silence! You pitiful drone! He suddenly notices Fireball Junior towering over him. He fires a few shots, but the cahelium hull has no damage. BRUSIER slowly gets up, and begins to attack the submarine. THE FLEET PILOT is able to release THE AIR MARSHAL while BUCKY watches the destruction of the sub. Instantly, he fires at the two officers, mainly misses, but gets THE AIR MARSHAL in the left arm. THE RADIO OPERATOR and THE TECHNICIANS follow into the Cruiser. THE FLEET PILOT begins to curse at BUCKY before taking off. PILOT: You haven't seen the last of me, Bucky O' Hare! The Cruiser flies off. As the submarine sinks, along with the seamen, Fireball Junior makes a soft landing on the island. ANDREW and AMD-4 disembark, and look around the place. ANDREW: Well, that showed him, I guess. BUCKY: Yeah, let's just hope it'll be enough. BRUSIER: Say, you guys. I don't wanna be no trouble, but I's got one hell of a headache. AMD-4: Headache: A severe pain in the cranial area of the head rather like soreness. Cure: Spearmint Cordial drink to relieve the cerebral tissue of any aches and pains. He hands BRUISER a small bottle of green liquid, which BRUISER takes and drinks. He hands AMD-4 the empty bottle, and waits a while. BRUISER: Nothing's happenin'. AMD-4: Time for reaction, 3 minutes. BUCKY: While that's working, we'd better get back and see about Larry. JENNY: If Oceanus is at peace now, then he should be back to normal when we return. SCENE EIGHTEEN Watership Hospital LARRY lies on the bed, with MISS SHEFFIELD still beside him. The original colour in his fur is returning and he is slowly improving. He is slowly rejuvenating into his old self again. The door opens as KADAF and FRITZ enter. FRITZ: Larry? What's going on? LARRY: I'm afraid it's a long story, sir. FRITZ: Can you give me some clues so I can picture it? LARRY: It won't be easy. But I'll try... He sits up; MISS SHEFFIELD is helping him to move. LARRY: The words I can give you are these: Year 3205, Scientific Exhibition, Wellixilin Spring, and rejuvenation. KADAF: Lemme try this one. You went on some scientific trip to Oceanus 7 in 3205, and you fell into a Wellixilin Spring, which caused you to rejuvenate. LARRY: You've got it. KADAF: Just a guess. FRITZ'S radio flares up, and CORPORAL NASS begins to speak. NASS: (On radio) Corporal Nass here, sir. The XL6 and The Righteous Indignation are landing at Landing Bay 12-C FRITZ: Very well, Nass. I'll be right there. He turns to LARRY. FRITZ: Larry, you take care of yourself. He and KADAF exit, while LARRY and MISS SHEFFIELD smile at one another. LARRY: You know I will. MISS SHEFFIELD giggles, as the pair fall into a romantic embrace. SCENE NINETEEN Landing Bay 12-C, Genus Control Centre The Righteous Indignation and The XL6 both land gently, The XL6 now with Fireball Junior re-attached to her. DEADEYE and BUTCH walk off together, laughing and talking. DEADEYE: That makes 119 Toadies shot down for me! BUTCH: Lucky! My total's only 75! BUCKY and JENNY disembark, and come face to face with FRITZ, his face slightly angry. FRITZ: Bucky, I'm still mad at you for what you did a few hours ago. But after seeing Larry, I'm going to let you off just this once. BUCKY: So you do care for him. FRITZ: Of course I do! Why else do you think I sent Sub-Lieutenant Chubby-ANDREW! Andrew, sorry. Sub-Lieutenant Andrew after you? BUCKY: To get him out of your hair? FRITZ: We will discuss this later! He marches off; ANDREW waddles out of his spaceship, looking around. ANDREW: Did somebody call? BUCKY: No, Chuck. No. ANDREW: Chuck? I thought I mentioned with you and Willy that those days are over. BUCKY: They haven't even begun. ANDREW: What? BUCKY: If you ARE, Chuck Bodgers, why are you seven centuries off? ANDREW: Well, I... BUCKY: (Accusingly) And how come you are even fatter than before? ANDREW: It's... BUCKY: (Even more accusing) Plus, you're much older! ANDREW: The reason for that is... BUCKY: And you're a Sub-Lieutenant on the run from an organisation that died off 1061 years ago, instead of a Captain for a Fleet in 2704. ANDREW: If you give me the chance, I... BUCKY: And finally, you fly around in a museum piece that went out of commission 1157 years ago, instead of a sparkling white whale from 521 years ago. JENNY: Bucky, let him talk! ANDREW: Comic Book alterations. JENNY: What? ANDREW: Panini Comics altered a few hundred things to make it believable for the kids, now if you don't mind, I'm off to dinner. He walks off, JENNY is shocked at how BUCKY could continue to snap at another officer like that. BUCKY, meanwhile, just stands there humiliated. JENNY: Well, Captain O' Hare? What is so strange about Sub-Lieutenant Chubby, err, Norris. Oh! Fritz has got me at it now! BUCKY: (Humiliated) Comic Book Alterations. (Chuckles nervously) THE END