Bucky O' Hare In A Shared Victory By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE Martian Central UFO, Genus The Red Weed is slowly dying. It is beginning to sprout white blisters and shrivel, making it easier for the CENTURIONS to hack it away. Inside the UFO, QUEEN SHIMORR is speaking to two CENTURIONS, with SUB- LIEUTENANT ANDREW NORRIS strapped into the mind-probe. CENTURION #1: Your majesty, the Mammals are trying to make a counter- attack over the planet. SHIMORR: And the reinforcements? CENTURION #1: They are just arriving. CENTURION #2: They were using Vesivium Nine explosives to destroy the capitol of the Occultas Galaxy. SHIMORR: No matter, the reinforcements will deal with the Mammals. I want all Centurions to proceed with our planned invasion of Rigel I. CENTURION #2: We will not be attacking Quanta, your highness? SHIMORR: There is no point; there is little of value there. The mineral content is as useless as fireproof matches. I am going to conduct one last test on Bodgers. (Sternly) On no account am I to be disturbed for whatever reason. Understood? CENTURIONS: (In unison) Understood. They depart, with two large doors closing behind them. SHIMORR switches on the Mind-Probe before sitting down in the throne. An automated VOICE booms out from the machinery. VOICE: (Mechanical staccato) Please state your request. SHIMORR: Show me the arch foes of Chuck Bodgers. VOICE: Scanning. (Pause) Located... An image of a muscular, thin-faced MAN appears as a hologram before SHIMORR. His hair is platinum blonde, and fashioned into a large spike. His suit being a skintight purple suit with medal ribbons to one side. VOICE: (Continued) General Ignatius Negatron, leader of the Neo- Prussian regime determined to conquer the United Kingdom at all costs. Assumed deceased, no superpowers outside of military strength. SHIMORR: (To herself) Is that all? You can do better than that, Bodgers. (To computer) Scan for any enemy agents. VOICE: Scanning. (Pause) Located, The Americommandos. Anti-British squadron trying to conquer England and create the 51st state of America. SHIMORR: Membership? Four holograms appear: The first is a grey-haired GIRL in her twenties, the second a bald MAN, thirdly a ROBOT and the last a BOY looking like an evil Uncle Sam. VOICE: (About GIRL) .U.S.Amy, armed with laser-bolts from her hands, believed to be extra-terrestrial. (About MAN) Dollar Bill, alias William Maine, flight and sonic-waves. (About ROBOT) State-50, designed to kill all Non-Americans. (About BOY) Killer Yank, considered himself to be the epitome of American citizenship. SHIMORR: What is their current status? VOICE: Disbanded following the presidential election of 2056. Were arrested and tried by American citizens, all executed. SHIMORR: OK, so we know that Bodgers is patriotic. But can his loyalty be swept towards the Martians? SCENE TWO The Gorge, Genus The fallen tripod is being examined by two more CENTURIONS, who are trying to salvage some equipment from the wreckage of the deceased Centurion. One of them picks up a triangular circuit board that was concealed beneath the helmet. CENTURION #3: Capping chip has been recovered intact, meaning that rebellion is not the cause of death. CENTURION #4: Perhaps it was not the operator responsible for the incident; maybe it was a guerilla attack. The two CENTURIONS are suddenly ambushed by the Home Guard troops, who try to overpower the robots. One of the CENTURIONS loses his helmet, and a similar triangular chip falls from his head. While the other CENTURION is destroyed, the de-chipped one begins to whimper and allow the troops to attack him. CAPTAIN SHIRLEY SQUIRREL notices this and orders the soliders to back off. CENTURION: #4: (Petrified) Please, please don't hurt me. I'll do whatever you want! SHIRLEY: (Curious) What about the Martians? I thought you were loyal to them! CENTURION #4: Don't mention that name, please! They...they scare me. Another soldier, SECOND-LIEUTENANT FRANCIS REGINALD notices the triangular chip and picks it up. REGINALD: Captain, look at this! SHIRLEY accepts the chip, and notices the groove in the CENTURIONS' head. To her surprise, the CENTURION has no idea as to what it is. CENTURION #4: What is that thing? REGINALD: You don't recognize your own technology? CENTURION #4: My own?! (Laughs) The Martians created me, and then drained my thoughts so we robots could never rebel. SHIRLEY: Then that must mean that these chips are what is keeping the Centurions under Martian control. LIEUTENANT DEREK BILLON steps forward to speak. BILLON: And if we can find a way to reverse the effects, then the Centurions can break free and turn against the Martian Queen! REGINALD: (Confused) But how can we do that? We'd need a supercomputer to reprogram those, plus we're talking about 5,000,000 robots here! SHIRLEY: Reginalds' right. We'd need a ray or something, plus someone who knows this technology well. CENTURION #4: Just give me ten minutes to reprogram the chip and rewire the heat-rays on the tripod, then maybe I can think of something. SCENE THREE In orbit of Genus The .S.P.A.C.E. fleet are all doing their best to defend themselves from the oncoming Martian fleet. Some Mammal craft sneakily lure a UFO into the minefield and destroy it, but it is simply not enough. The Righteous Indignation itself is taking a pounding to its' shields. ON BOARD THE RIGHTEOUS... BUCKY and JENNY are trying to steer the ship around so DEADEYE can open fire, but the blasts keep shifting them back. FLEET ADMIRAL RYGAR BLADE shifts himself closer to the bridge. RYGAR: (To Bucky) Captain, can you get Deadeye to fire on the minefield? BUCKY: (Shrieks) But, Admiral! We'll be blown sky-high! RYGAR: We have no choice, Bucky! If we can't defend ourselves, we'll have to try and defend what is left to fight for. Get that gunnerworking on the double! BUCKY reluctantly complies, and DEADEYE is soon preparing himself to fire on the space-mines. Unbeknownst to them, the Martians have plans of their own. ON BOARD THE LEADING MARTIAN UFO... In command of this fleet is THE MARTIAN SPACE-MARSHAL, a gruff Martian in golden uniform. He has several CENTURION robots flying about him, preparing to open fire on the Righteous Indignation. CENTURION #5: Our weapons are locked onto their flagship, Space Marshal. SPACE-MARSHAL: Fire all weapons in ten rels. CENTURION #6: Preparing to fire in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two... Suddenly, an alarm goes off and the ship jerks violently. SPACE-MARSHAL: (Furiously) Report! CENTURION #5: Our port-side weapons have been destroyed, sir! SPACE-MARSHAL: Destroyed?! By what?! Outside, the Martian fleet is being attacked from the rear by Communist cruisers that appear out of the gloom. Although small in numbers, their weapons have a great impact on the UFOs. SPACE-MARSHAL: Order the fleet to open fire on these newcomers, now! CENTURION #6: (Checks instruments) Our communications are failing, Space Marshal. But, we do have contact with the leading craft. SPACE-MARSHAL: (Into radio) Enemy craft, you have the honour to be addressed by the Space Marshal for the Martian Fleet. In response, the Communist flagship places BRIGADIER SAGE over the radio. SAGE: Enemy craft, you have the misfortune of being addressed by Brigadier-General Sage of the Communist Republic, now get out of our Aniverse! The Communists begin opening fire once more, but this time, the Mammals have been given enough time to turn around and attack the fleet themselves. Some Martian UFOs are able to get away, while others are destroyed completely. THE MARTIAN SPACE-MARSHAL is furious at these actions, but suddenly realizes that all guns are focussed on his ship. SPACE-MARSHAL: Oh fu... His UFO explodes into fragments, thus finishing off the reinforcements. The two fleets hang in space for a time, until RYGAR puts a message through to BRIGADIER SAGE. RYGAR: (Smirks) This is a little new for you, isn't it? SAGE: Well, Admiral, our slogan is "For the people", and as the Mammals are people regardless of their bourgeois attitude, we're happy to put differences aside. RYGAR: I'm glad to hear it, Brigadier. I just hope the survivors on Genus will say the same. SCENE FOUR The Countryside, Genus Outside the Martian cordon around the Capitol is a Martian settlement, with six tripods around it. Here, a CENTURION is operating a five- legged machine (a quinpod) with three mechanical tendrils forming from it. The machine is piecing together a new tripod as it works, unaware of a tripod machine approaching in the distance. CENTURION #7: Say, isn't that the patrol that were checking up on the fallen comrade? CENTURION #8: Better make contact to be sure. (Activates radio) Patrol 2-G to tripod bearing 17-6 west, report. He recieves no reply, and tries again. CENTURION #8: Tripod at 17-6 west, are you recieving me? Please acknowledge. This time, he does recieve some sort of reply. The heat-rays on the tripod fire cool-blue beams of light at the CENTURIONS about the place. The CENTURION in the quinpod notices this and clambers down to inspect the damage. CENTURION #9: Give damage report immediately. CENTURION #7: (Confused) What's a damage report? CENTURION #9 examines the capping-chip beneath the helmet, and finds it to be damaged. CENTURION #9: (Shocked) You've been de-capped! The other CENTURIONS fire blue rays from concealed weapons in their arms at him, and CENTURION #9 is de-capped. Returning to the quinpod, it then uses the tendrils to destroy the tripod it was building. The tripod in the distance moves towards them. On board is CENTURION #4, SHIRLEY and LIEUTENANT BILLON. CENTURION #7: Thank you for liberating us, friends. But what must we do now? SHIRLEY: Simple, you need to alter the heat-rays on your tripods and blast as many Centurions as you can. The more you blast, the better chance we have of defeating the Martians! The tripod marches off, leaving the other CENTURIONS to set to work on their own machines. As they advance, BILLON looks at SHIRLEY with a worried tone. BILLON: (Worried) Are you sure this'll work, Captain? What about the organic Martians? CENTURION #4: There are no organic Martians on Genus except the Queen. SHIRLEY: Why's that? CENTURION #4: During the Second Cosmos War, many of the Martians pitted themselves in a huge battle against Earth and Venus, fighting on two fronts. Many died, and while the organic race is still trying to rebuild itself, we Centurions were created to do all the fighting on their behalf. SHIRLEY: (Pauses for a moment) You know, we don't have many volunteers in our Home Guard units. Maybe when this is over, you'd like to help out? CENTURION #4: Would I! Anything that doesn't involve Imperial work is fine by me! BILLON: (Thinks) < I doubt that's what's on the Queens' mind, though. > SCENE FIVE Martian Central UFO, Genus QUEEN SHIMORR has moved ANDREW onto an operating table, and has several electrodes attached to his head. SHIMORR is busy reading some paper that is being printed out of a nearby machine. SHIMORR: (Mumbles) Conditioning is working well, emotions slowly draining. (Sighs) This is easier than capping. There is a knock on the door, as two more CENTURIONS speak from the other side of the door. CENTURION #10: Your majesty! We have grave news! SHIMORR: I gave explicit instructions not to be disturbed, Centurion! CENTURION #10: But your highness, it concerns 1/3 of the patrols! They... SHIMORR: (Interrupts) ...Have been taken off weeding duty because the Red Weed is dying off, I know.# CENTURION #11: It's worse than that, your Majesty! SHIMORR: Get out of here, you morons! Don't ever disobey me ever again! The CENTURIONS are heard clanking away, and SHIMORR looks over at ANDREW. SHIMORR: Well, all we need do now is get you some uniform. Can't have those pathetic Space-Patrol pyjamas, can we? The CENTURIONS have returned outside, causing SHIMORR to become so furious that she tears the doors open with her bare hands. SHIMORR: (Roars) I ordered you not to disturb me, you mechanical fools! Do I have to keep repeating myself?! CENTURION #11: (Cowers) But, your majesty, it is the patrols! They're in rebellion! SHIMORR is about to shout again, but stops when the CENTURION points out the situation. SHIMORR: But that's not possible! The only way for them to express emotion is for their capping-chips to be reprogrammed! CENTURION #10: We have tried to fight off the invaders, but their numbers just continue to grow, your highness. SHIMORR: That won't be a problem. I've just completed brainwashing our experimental guinea-pig. She gestures to ANDREW, who is being fitted with a Roman armour by mechanical appendages as she talks. SHIMORR: (Continued) There is no capping chip on him that can be de- programmed, and he has been infected with the aggression of a military company. CENTURION #11: You mean... SHIMORR: Yes, Centurion. Captain Crisis is reborn! ANDREW stands up, wearing the uniform that clanks as he moves about. His eyes are completely scarlet, and his face is fixed in a scowl as he walks out to the battlefield. SCENE SIX Outside Capitol City, Genus The .S.P.A.C.E. Fleet and the Communist ships both land in small areas of farmland close to the city limits. Around the area are waves of de- capped CENTURIONS, with the Home Guard soldiers among them, disinfecting those still loyal to the Martian Empire. Even tripods are battling one another as the fight ensues. BRIGADIER SAGE watches the battle along with RYGAR, BUCKY, JENNY and the other .S.P.A.C.E. officers. SAGE: (Tuts) Would you look at that. RYGAR: The Home Guard have obviously had a hand at this; still, we'd best not sit around doing nothing, must we? JENNY spots something heading towards the ships, which turns out to be a tripod with a white flag attached to it. JENNY: Sirs, look! One of them is defecting! RYGAR: (Senses somethings' wrong) I don't like this. Be on your guard, all of you. The tripod stops and the legs lower until the head-section is at ground level. CAPTAIN SHIRLEY SQUIRREL steps out, along with LIEUTENANT DEREK BILLON, 2ND LT. FRANCIS REGINALD and CENTURION #4. RYGAR: (Sighs relievedly) You had me worried, captain. I thought something had gone wrong. SHIRLEY: On the contrary, sir, everything is going well. (Gestures to the battle) We found that the Centurions could be reprogrammed, and we've mustered up a rebel force against the Martians. VOICE: (Staccato) But it won't last long. Everyone looks up, as ANDREW looks down at them, smiling menacingly. BUCKY: By the Great Mother, Andy. What the frell have they done to you? ANDREW: My name is Captain Crisis, servant to the Martian Empire, and you will obey us! He leaps down and punches RYGAR hard in the face, so much so that he topples over. BUCKY, DOGSTAR and JENNY all rush to fight him, while SAGE helps RYGAR to his feet. The hypnotized ANDREW has gained strength along the way, and shakes off his attackers with ease. ANDREW: There is no place in our regime for infidels like you! You shall die for the glory of Shimorr! He fights his way through a mixed-wave of Communist and .S.P.A.C.E. officers who are all trying to rush him, but the human is having none of it. Suddenly, he is thrust against the side of a Soviet cruiser by RYGAR, who is twisting his arm and growling furiously. CENTURION #4, seeing his opportunity, fires a de-capping ray at ANDREW, and he falls unconcious to the ground, while RYGAR calms down. SAGE: Are you OK, Admiral? RYGAR: Yeah (Sighs heavily) Sorry, soldier, but it had to be done. While MIMI tends to ANDREW, the others charge into the battle to fight off the Martians. SCENE SEVEN Martian Central UFO, Genus By now, most of the CENTURIONS have been de-capped, and those that have yet to be reprogrammed are defending the Central UFO as the reprogrammed CENTURIONS charge on it. CENTURION #12: Keep back! You cannot enter! CENTURION #13: (Shouting) The Queen caused our misery, and she's going to pay! CENTURION #14: That's right! She doesn't know the meaning of the word "pain" until we've finished with her! CENTURION #12: You're infected! You need help, not violence! CENTURION #13: You should know! He fires on his comrade, freeing him from Martian control. Inside the UFO, SHIMORR is preparing for blast-off, and is observing a monitor close to the throne. SHIMORR: (Hisses) Where are you, Captain? BUCKY: Right here, Shimorr. SHIMORR spins around, and notices BUCKY, JENNY, DEADEYE and BRUISER at the doorway. SHIMORR: (Startled) But...But, where is Captain Crisis? I sent him to destroy you! DEADEYE: We've had a change of plans, doll, an' you'd best have clean underpants on, coz Bruiser here ain't the friendliest of pals when someone attacks his mates! BRUISER: (Marches forward) Dat's right, an' no stinkin' li'l banjolas is gonna say otherwise unless he wants me to mashpotate his bones! SHIMORR composes herself, and admits defeat. Satisfied, BUCKY slips handcuffs over her wrists and carts her off. BUCKY: (To Jenny) Handcuffs: 15 simoleons, Return ticket to Warren: 78 simoleons... JENNY: (Smirks) Deafeating the Martians: priceless. SEVERAL HOURS LATER... All the CENTURIONS have been reprogrammed and are standing as a complete legion in neat columns, as SHIRLEY, LIEUTENANT BILLON, 2ND LT. REGINALD and SGT. LINEN address them. SHIRLEY: I'm glad to say that almost all prisoners have been recovered from Martian clutches with only injuries on emotion. It seems fortunate that the Martians believed in slave labour. To make up for such anxieties, you soldiers here will serve in the new Home Guard regiment alongside our original troops. ALL CENTURIONS: Yes, captain. Nearby, a temporary medical tent has been set up, and DR. KENNER is examining a de-armourized ANDREW, when RYGAR shows up, with a bruise here ANDREW hit him. ANDREW: (Anxious tone) Hello, sir. I'm sorry about the fight. RYGAR: You were under the control of another being, so there's no point in trying to charge you. KENNER: I've checked him up, Admiral. He's fit to go whenever you want. RYGAR: Fine, Doctor. Could you leave us for a moment? DR. KENNER leaves, and RYGAR pulls up a chair next to ANDREW. RYGAR: Well, Ensign, as you know more about the Martians than any of us, perhaps you might care to tell us why the Centurions weren't programmed fully with obedience rather than use the capping process? ANDREW: The cyber-emotions weren't noticed until they were defeated by the Venus Navy. As there were thousands already coming off the production line, it was too late to stop production, and so they simply just placed a chip on their processors. FRITZ enters, shakily and nervously. RYGAR looks up at him and growls under his breath. FRITZ: (Stammers) Admiral, what can I do to make up for what I've done? RYGAR is about to say something, but just shakes his head once and sighs angrily. RYGAR: (Angrily) Fritz, you're callous, you're stupid, and you're blinded by racial prejudice. The next time you get the urge to mistreat one of my officers, I suggest you actually listen to them! Whether you're still in power when we rebuild the government all depends on a council vote, and many members will want to see your head hanging high. He storms out of the tent, as does FRITZ, who nestles on a patch of grass and begins to weep. SCENE EIGHT The Toad Homeworld Images are being shown on various monitors of buildings being repaired across Genus, and CIVILIANS being interrogated by Home-Guard SOLDIERS. A monitor mounted on a robot arm displays the image of KOMPLEX. KOMPLEX: The Martians have been defeated, and Genus now lurks under military rule. Knowing the history of military successes on the part of Fleet Admiral Blade, they will press everything they have against us, and that is why we are best combined as a team. He turns to his audience, which include Toad officers such as TOADBORG, TOAD AIR MARSHAL, TOAD FIELD MARSHAL, CAPTAIN PRITCHARD, MAJOR PADD and PILOT OFFICER ADDER, but also include non-Toads, such as BYRON MANN, FRANKENSTOAT, RICK PARSNIP, NOSFERRETU, BRIGADEGENERAL MARY VON HUGHEZ, THE EMPRESS OF DEATH, LT. FEAR and SAT-YR-NIN. KOMPLEX: (Continued) With our combined efforts, the Mammals will fail as miserably under a military rule than they did under democracy. With this final push, the Toad Empire shall be successful in the Toad Wars. THE END