Bucky O' Hare In Invaders From The Red Planet By Andrew Norris "Disturb not this man of metal, Lest he may wreak havoc upon the world in which is he awakened, For the war between he and us may never settle, Until every remaining man has been flattened, For this man of metal may never upon this land creep, Until the fool has awakened his sleep..." SCENE ONE The Righteous Indignation BUCKY is setting course home for Genus, when CORPORAL NASS speaks up. NASS: (On Radio) Genus Control to Bucky O' Hare. Come in please, over. BUCKY: Bucky O' Hare here, what's the problem? NASS: Noctur 4 reports a strange object being uncovered in the Capital. Better check it out. BUCKY: Will do, Bucky out. He switches off the radio, and turns to JENNY. BUCKY: Well, back to see the General. JENNY: I just hope the Panthers are doing all right for themselves. BUCKY: So do I. SCENE TWO Planet Noctur 4 Many of the old, crumbling buildings have been restored, and several panthers are either busy at work on the buildings or are just going about their everyday business. Several panther children play in the streets, while a shoddy bus service has been put in place after the Toad Invasions. The Bus Stops are merely buck-and-quarter staffs driven into the ground, with small red discs atop. There is only one Bus, which appears to be more like a tram. It bears a close resemblance to the buses in service in 1930's London. There is a huge excavation further outside the Capital, where THE GENERAL, DOUGLASINA GLENN, and other PANTHERS are going about the work. The Righteous Indignation lands close by, and JENNY and BUCKY disembark. GENERAL: (Posh Voice) Welcome, Bucky! So good to see you again! BUCKY: Yeah. Hi, General. JENNY: Hello, Douglasina. Long time; no see. DOUGLASINA: (Scottish Accent) Hi Jenny. You're a right sight for me wee sore eyes. BUCKY: So, what's going on, here? GENERAL: We found some kind of machine when some workers started repairing the sewers. BUCKY: Where is it? GENERAL: Follow me. We also found a tablet next to it. Ted's working on it now. It must've been there for some time; according to the workers, the thing was in cobwebs when we found it. THE GENERAL leads BUCKY and JENNY into a huge tent in the midst of the excavation. Several Panthers are going here and there, carrying sheets of data and rock samples. THE GENERAL gestures upwards. GENERAL: There she is. BUCKY gapes as he looks above him. There, in the very centre of the tent, is a gigantic tripod machine. Its jointed legs are perhaps higher than a factory chimney. A broad, chunky body of white sits in the midst of the mechanism, with small slots for where the legs are attached. There is a small glass hood at the front used rather like a cockpit. The glass is a sickly green, and appears to BUCKY more like two glowing eyes. Underneath the Hood is what appears to be a funnel. BUCKY focuses on it, and senses that this device has more evil in it than a single fuse in KOMPLEX'S circuits. Another panther, TED, walks over, carrying a sheet of paper. TED: We deciphered the tablet, sir. GENERAL: Well, what does it say? TED: (Reads sheet) "Disturb not this man of metal, lest he wreak havoc upon the world in which he awakened. For the war between he and us may never settle, until every last man is flattened. For this man of metal may never upon this land creep, until the fool has awakened his sleep." JENNY: Sounds more like a legend than a warning. GENERAL: What date is the tablet set? TED: Private Star... GENERAL: Richard, please. We're not playing toy soldiers anymore. TED: Sorry. Richard reckons the tablet is about 1154 years old, mid- 21st century, probably. BUCKY: (Turning away from the tripod) A tablet from 2071 that's survived today? That's a good age to be at. TED: The only problem is sir, is who sent it. The 21st C. would be too far off even for The Toads. JENNY: Daleks, perhaps? BUCKY: I seriously doubt that. A Dalek wouldn't be able to fit in a cockpit that small. JENNY: Unless... SCENE THREE Landing Bay 2-B. Genus. The Fireball XL6 crew are busy cleaning and oiling the XL6. The ship is almost looking like new, when... NASS: (On Radio) Calling Sub-Lieutenant Norris. Please have Fireball XL6 Junior ready for launch immediately. Please have Fireball Junior ready for lift-off to Noctur 4. ANDREW: (Drops his oil-can) What now? HANNAH: Have you been saying anything about Raul? ANDREW: Not that I know of. Better see what they want, anyway. The crew stand clear, as ANDREW enters the cockpit. The cockpit detaches itself, and flies off into space. SCENE FOUR. Noctur 4, A little while later THE GENERAL and BUCKY are examining the Tripod. It is clearly a piece of alien engineering, with metallic ropes and bars lined across the broad hull. The hood is the only thing that has not been opened, in fear of the glass shattering. BUCKY: Sure is strange. Either the guy who built it was a brilliant genius or a complete lunatic. GENERAL: It certainly isn't of Aniversian origin, unless it belonged to that Hoots Verne character or Frankenstoat. BUCKY: I don't think Frankenstoat would know much about engineering, but you may be right about Hoots Verne. GENERAL: Once Chuck Bodgers Senior gets here, we'll soon find out. A small, brown CHILD PANTHER climbs up the leg of the machine, but THE GENERAL pulls her down. GENERAL: Take it easy, Fiona. You don't want your mother getting angry with you. FIONA: No, Papa. GENERAL: That's my girl! Now you go play with your friends. FIONA runs off, while BUCKY gives an enquiring glance. BUCKY: And who was that? GENERAL: My daughter, Fiona. Douglasina and I have been taking care of her for nearly four months. BUCKY: She looks more like she's six years old. GENERAL: That's Panthers for you, Bucky. Can't change that. There is a whining noise, as Fireball Junior lands outside the tent. ANDREW emerges from the hatch in the ceiling on a WSP Jetmobile, and lands at ground level, before walking inside the tent. BUCKY and THE GENERAL go to greet him. GENERAL: Ah, Chuck. Good to see you again. ANDREW: (Slightly irritated) What is it you want to see me about? BUCKY: Come inside and see. ANDREW: Why me in particular? Why not Willy? GENERAL: You're the only one who can tell us what this machine is. ANDREW: Machine? BUCKY: Something that landed here in 2071. ANDREW: (As he walks in) Now, hang on. I didn't even live in the 2070's. I lived there in 2068. Thing's could've changed in that decade. BUCKY: At least have a look. ANDREW: (Sighs) All right. He looks up at the enormous tripod above him. Just looking at this colossal Samson above him causes him to freeze. ANDREW begins to turn a deathly white, with a chill running down his back. ANDREW: (Edging towards the door) It can't be...it just can't be... BUCKY: What's wrong? ANDREW: (Petrified) Whatever you do, take this thing back to where it came from and leave it there. GENERAL: What's the matter? ANDREW: You're dealing with things you don't understand! Let well enough alone! Do you hear me? He starts his Jetmobile and heads straight back into Junior, before sending the small ship away into space at an incredible rate. As BUCKY and THE GENERAL watch him leave alongside DOUGLASINA and JENNY, something damp stirs within the glass hood. GENERAL: Well, in that case, we'd better call on Gregory. BUCKY: You mean the lippy member of The Noctur Resistance? GENERAL: Lippy as he may be, Captain, Gregory is now the Head of Noctur Armed Forces. He trains some of our species the means of warfare, and has a little club set up for the kids. Come with me, and I'll show you. BUCKY, DOUGLASINA, JENNY and FIONA all follow him past The Righteous Indignation and to a nearby Bus Stop. The rickety bus pulls up, and THE GENERAL speaks to the DRIVER. GENERAL: Noctur Barracks, William. Captain O' Hare is with me. WILLIAM: Very well, General. Five free-fares. He drives the bus off. Inside the Righteous, DEADEYE is getting restless. DEADEYE: I bet that old Chubby chickened out cos' he's too idle to do nothin'. BRUISER: Yous is just cranky cos yous wants to croak some Toads. DEADEYE: Shh! Listen! What's that noise? From the tent, there is a loud hissing noise, passing into an ear- splitting drone. A Few Panthers, including TED and LINDA, flee for their lives. The tent suddenly catches fire, as though a Heat-Ray has been set off. Instantly, a huge funnel rises from the flaming wreckage, and begins to aim for the Righteous Indignation. DEADEYE: Oh, no you don't lad. He turns to his chair, and aims his sights at the funnel. As either of the pair begin to fire at one another. BLINKY, now seeing what is happening activates the ships' shield. DEADEYE meanwhile hits the funnel with a direct hit. It smoulders for a while, but from the smoking tip comes another funnel, which too begins to fire in unison with DEADEYE. DEADEYE: (Thinks) < I gotta get to Bucky. > SCENE FIVE Noctur Barracks Outside the Capital is a small army camp consisting of a disused watchtower, three Anderson Shelters, and a handful of very small tents. A battered spaceship lies in the background, slowly rotting into nothing. Several PANTHERS are in a straight line on a runway strip separating the watchtower with the tents. GREGORY, now dressed in the uniform of a high-ranking officer, is inspecting the men. GREGORY: Very smart, men, very smart, indeed. I want you all to remember that ammunition is still in short supply, as the Valentine's shipment of maser cartridges has been delayed because of business on the planet Alderbarren. So I want you to try and conserve as much armament as you can. SGT. MOSS, now in a middle ranking uniform, walks up. GREGORY: Yes, Captain Moss? MOSS: It's The General to see you, Chief Commander. He insists you see him at once, sir. GREGORY: Very well, see them in. Through the heavily built gates of barbed wire, the Bus slowly rattles into the yard. None of the soldiers twitch as the tyres pour clouds of dust over their badly made uniforms. GREGORY walks up to WILLIAM, while THE GENERAL, DOUGLASINA, JENNY, BUCKY and FIONA disembarks. GREGORY: Refuel your tin can and scram. WILLIAM: Yes, Chief Commander. WILLIAM parks the bus behind the Watchtower and begins to refuel her. GREGORY begins to welcome the group. GREGORY: Welcome to the Noctur Barracks, Captain O' Hare. BUCKY: Hi. Chief Commander? GENERAL: Yes, Bucky. Head of the Army, but I'm still top cat until Noctur 4 is an independent planet again. GREGORY: (To Moss) Captain Moss. MOSS: Yes, Chief Commander? GREGORY: Fall the men out and show our guests around the camp. MOSS: Yes sir. As MOSS directs the troops, BUCKY whispers to DOUGLASINA. BUCKY: Captain? DOUGLASINA: Aye. He got a promotion when the barracks were set up. JENNY: Then shouldn't he be a Lieutenant? DOUGLASINA: He was for a time, and then he became a Captain. MOSS: (To Group) I'll have to be brief on your visit here at the camp. (Points to the shelters) Those are numbered. One is the Munitions Storage, Two is the Mess Hall, and Three is for the Planet Prefects. JENNY: Planet Prefects? FIONA: I'm a Planet Prefect. It's like an army, only for us kids. BUCKY: (Unsure) OK. MOSS: (Continued) This tower is for Radio and that stuff. It's also the Officers Quarters at times. Finally, that ship over there is a vintage space-minesweeper. BUCKY: Canis 7 antique space-minesweeper, Mark III Photon Accelerator. Vintage 3188. Kingston will be jealous. GREGORY: For a shorter name, the men call it 'Duncan.' We're still working on her, though. Once the Valentine delivers the next load of goods, she'll be spaceworthy in no time. BUCKY'S radio crackles. He picks it up to answer. BUCKY: Captain O' Hare BRUISER: (Faintly) Captain. There's something weird goin' on here. BUCKY: What's the story, Bruiser? BRUISER: Somethin' weird's come outta the tent. Kinda like a machine, yous best come and s... The radio goes dead as BRUISER is cut off. He, along with JENNY and THE GENERAL are concerned. BUCKY: (Walks up to Bus) William, we need a ride back, pronto. WILLIAM: OK, Captain, I'm nearly done. Meanwhile, THE GENERAL is speaking to GREGORY. GENERAL: You'd better take a few men with him; I don't like the sound of this. GREGORY: But I need my men to take care of The Barracks. GENERAL: (Shouts) Do as I say, Chief Commander! I don't want this planet to deteriorate again! GREGORY: (Obediently) Yes, Sir. He turns to the men. GREGORY: Captain Moss, you take some men to the Bus, and report back to me on the situation. MOSS: Yes, Chief Commander. A few of the PANTHERS are dismissed and move single-file onto the Bus, followed by BUCKY, JENNY, DOUGLASINA, THE GENERAL, CAPTAIN MOSS and FIONA, who sits on the top deck of the bus, as the Lower Deck is too crowded. The huge gates re-open themselves as the Bus drives off. SCENE SIX Noctur 4 Capital Some Police Officers are moving people away from the burning tent. The Funnel has disappeared, and DEADEYE sits alongside the Righteous Indignation, inspecting the damage. Some Firemen are at work hosing the rubble of the tent, using an antiquated Fire Engine brought out from a Museum, and like the bus, is a very early form of transport. The Bus Stop has now been charred, and stands like a black stick across the sky. The Bus rolls up, and BUCKY steps out, and walks over to a BLACK PANTHER POLICE OFFICER. BUCKY: What's going on? POLICE OFFICER: The whole tent just went up in flames! Luckily, no one was killed. After that, some kind of funnel came up and took a few shots at your ship. Your gunner hit it a few times, and it finally went back in. BUCKY: I see. He ponders for a moment. BUCKY: You'd better try and get this lot home; we still don't know what that thing is. POLICE OFFICER: How about that Bus once you've finished with it? BUCKY: OK. He goes and gets everybody off the Bus, and all the citizens gazing at the huge pit begin to file onto the Bus. Others wait at the charred stop for the next trip. DOUGLASINA cradles sleeping FIONA in her arms, and speaks to THE GENERAL. DOUGLASINA: I'm going to take Fiona home; I don't want her getting hurt. GENERAL: OK, but please be careful. DOUGLASINA: I will. She walks off, while CAPTAIN MOSS gives his orders to the Troops. MOSS: There's something we don't know about inside that mound, and is probably trapped in the rubble. We already know the being is hostile, so we must keep people away from here until the thing can be recovered. Is that understood? SOLDIERS: Yes, Captain. MOSS: Good, now I want you to form a cordon, and make sure nobody steps within a 75-yard radius of this place, and the Police will be here to assist you. Meanwhile, BUCKY and JENNY are speaking to DEADEYE. JENNY: Deadeye, are you all right? DEADEYE: I be fine, Jenny girl. It be the Righteous I be worried about. BUCKY: As long as she's still in one piece, that's fine by me. DEADEYE: Maybe this is why Chubby turned chicken. SCENE SEVEN Andrew's Apartment, Genus ANDREW, still pale-faced, is drinking huge quantities of what appears to be brandy. He is trembling as he gazes up into the evening sky, when HANNAH comes in. ANDREW jumps at first, but then calms down. ANDREW: (Timid) Hello, Hannah. HANNAH: Hi, why are you so jumpy? You've been this way since you got back from Noctur 4. ANDREW: Bucky doesn't realise the danger he's putting himself in. That thing will crush anything and everything in its path. HANNAH: Well, what is 'it'? ANDREW: Something I encountered far too often during my time as Chuck Bodgers. HANNAH: Well? ANDREW: That thing, (Gulps another drink) is from the Planet Mars. HANNAH: A Martian? I never knew they were machines. ANDREW: They aren't. The Martian is the thing sitting inside it. That machine is just a body, and the Martian is the brain. HANNAH: Then why are you so scared if there's only one? ANDREW: You don't understand. If you so much as look at that thing, you'll end up as fricassee. Noctur 4 will just go down the drain again. HANNAH: Well, why didn't you do something? ANDREW: I've been dragged back to Mars too often. I'm not facing that old bag of a princess again. HANNAH: Well, what can we do? ANDREW: XL6 wouldn't stand a chance against that kind of power, and unless a second frigate gets there, the Panthers have little hope of survival. SCENE EIGHT Noctur Capital The soldiers have formed a circle around the tent, while the Police help civilians onto the bus. BUCKY is still examining the ship, while DEADEYE is manning his maser cannon. DEADEYE: Why, just lemme at that guy, I'll murder 'im! BUCKY: Take it easy, Deadeye. We don't know what's inside there. There is a sudden grinding noise from the rubble, as the ground begins to shudder. Some soldiers move from their cordon, out of the way. Some civilians begin to panic and run, with a few police officers with them. MOSS: What's going on? SOLDIER #1: The machine is alive, sir! It's coming out! SOLDIER #2: What shall we do, sir? MOSS: I want you to help the Righteous Indignation in keeping that thing at bay. Private Star and I will return to base to call for reinforcements. SOLDIER #1: What about the civilians, sir? MOSS: Leave that to the police. He and PRIVATE STAR, now in conventional military uniform, run off into the distance, as the tent begins to rip open. BUCKY: By the Great Mother. This just can't be real. Out of the tent clambers the mighty tripod, now very much alive. Inside the hood, THE MARTIAN stirs and slithers as it operates the controls around it. The funnel is attached to its front, and begins to batter the shields of the Righteous Indignation. DEADEYE fires back, while the soldiers try to either shoot the beast or run. BUCKY: We have to get Genus now! He attempts to switch on the radio, but THE MARTIAN has disabled the radio. BUCKY sighs in defeat. BUCKY: We can just hope for the best. SCENE NINE Colonel Raul Mews' Apartment, Genus RAUL is sat watching a News Report, with a face more sorrowful than someone attending a Funeral. He watches the carnage as The Martian does battle with The Righteous. REPORTER: As you can see from these live images, the strange creature is in a full frontal assault with the UAC vessel, "Righteous Indignation." We have been unable to contact Captain O' Hare at this time, but we have been informed that the nearby Military Base is preparing to send every man they've got. The doorbell rings. RAUL: (Gloomily) Come in. Enter MIMI; she too has a concerned look on her face. MIMI: Hey, Colonel. I heard about what's going on. RAUL: (Switching off the TV) I just wish I could do something, I feel like such a coward standing by and watching that thing destroy my family! MIMI: It's not your fault; it's just that The Fearless is still unprepared. Plus, Fritz won't let any frigate out without his permission. Dogstar is too far off to be of help, and my ship is undergoing a systems check. RAUL: I'm sorry, Mimi. I know you're trying to be of help to me. He sinks into her shoulder. RAUL: (Crying) I just wish I could be of help to my family. MIMI thinks for a while, and then remembers the cowardly look on ANDREW'S face upon touchdown of XL6. She pulls RAUL forward, who looks at her with sore-red eyes. MIMI: (Plucks up courage) Raul, you and I are going to save Noctur 4. RAUL: What? MIMI: And what's more we're going to find out about that thing. RAUL: How can I be of help? I'm just a cowardly fool. MIMI: Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool! She pecks him on the cheek. RAUL dries his eyes, and smiles at her with the same thought. SCENE TEN Noctur 4 The Martian Tripod is still attacking the Righteous; and putting up a fierce battle. Not far off, The Bus re-appears with GREGORY and a handful of troops. THE GENERAL, hiding in the Righteous, is attempting to beckon them away; but the noise is too horrendous for either to interpret their requests. GENERAL: (Almost mute) Turn back, you fools! You'll just enrage it further! Turn back! Get Duncan! GREGORY: (To Troops) All right, lads! That's The General's signal! Fire! They all begin to fire on the Tripod; their weak masers do not even scratch it. THE MARTIAN stops firing on The Righteous, and moves towards the gunners. BUCKY: Damn! And we can't turn around! There's too much rubble! The Heat Ray fires on the small platoon. No one is killed, but the maser rifles are melted into sticky mounds of metal. THE MARTIAN suddenly jerks upward, as though he has heard something. His tripod is turned to face a few degrees East of the planet, and a small metallic streak, rather like a bullet, is seen hurdling closer and closer. INSIDE FIREBALL XL6... ANDREW is sat at the controls, with RAUL and MIMI beside him. ANDREW is still shaking, but MIMI is just annoyed at this. ANDREW: Honestly, Mimi. You don't have any idea what that thing is capable of. MIMI: And you don't know what I'm capable of, unless you'd rather have me demonstrate my punches. ANDREW: Fine, suit yourself. But when we're all turned to cinders, don't blame me. MIMI whacks him over the head. MIMI: Just shut up and take us down. RAUL: I'll go help Hannah and Butch get those warheads ready. SCENE ELEVEN The Righteous Indignation The Martian doesn't appear to take any more interest in the Righteous, and is instead waiting for the XL6 to come in closer. BUCKY slowly makes his way over to THE MARTIAN, accompanied by JENNY. XL6 fires a warhead, but THE MARTIAN knocks it out of the way with the Heat Ray, and begins to fire at her. The tripod jerks as it fires. BUCKY: (On one of the tripods legs) Whoa! JENNY: (Halfway up the body) Bucky! Are you OK? BUCKY: I'm fine, but we've got to stop that thing! THE MARTIAN hits the wing of XL6, only inches away from the fuel tanks. INSIDE FIREBALL XL6... The ship shudders and rocks while ANDREW attempts to keep her steady. MIMI: (As she is thrown across the cabin) Hey! This guy means business! ANDREW: I told you it was dangerous! BACK ON THE GROUND... THE MARTIAN rises to full height, with BUCKY and JENNY balancing on the hull. THE MARTIAN begins a sort of chanting noise with very high pitch and volume. MARTIAN: (Deafening) Ulla! Ulla! Ulla! BUCKY and JENNY hold their ears; the volume is so high, it is piercing their eardrums. MARTIAN: Ulla! Ulla! On the ground, DEADEYE begins to open fire on the legs, but still to no avail. XL6 does very little damage from the air. DEADEYE and THE GENERAL hang their heads. DEADEYE: Aye, this be goin' nowhere! GENERAL: Indeed, Deadeye. But we must get Bucky and Jenny down unless Fireball XL6 misses the target. MARTIAN: Ulla! Ulla... There is a sudden choking noise from the cockpit. BUCKY and JENNY watch as the MARTIAN begins to froth at the mouth. BUCKY and JENNY leap from the monster, and land on a small Library. THE MARTIAN stumbles against the side of a building, and the cockpit opens. THE MARTIAN lands on the ground with a heavy thump. The creature is nothing more than a 16 tentacled lump of brown flesh, with two large, violet eyes and a fleshy beak. RAUL, MIMI, HANNAH, BUTCH, AMD-4 and ANDREW all join up with the small group. THE MARTIAN gazes angrily at BUCKY. MARTIAN: (Groggily, to Bucky) Yowe Borsatorooder. His enormous eyes close, THE MARTIAN is dead. BUCKY is stunned. MIMI: It's dead. JENNY: But how did it die? AMD-4 steps forward and places his hand on the corpse. A probe pops out of his pincers, and begin to scan the body. AMD-4: Body poisoned by terrestrial bacteria, body not immune to any bacterium. BUCKY: Maybe our Martian expert can tell us that. He looks at ANDREW. ANDREW looks at WILLY, by his side. WILLY: Sorry, Bucky. I don't know a lot about Martians. BUCKY: It's OK, Willy. I was thinking more on the lines of Mr. Scaredy Cat here. ANDREW: (Sighs) Millennia ago, Martian sanitary science cured every one of disease and all that stuff. Obviously, they didn't know about the illnesses here, and this one must've been cured by all those disinfectants used to clean the sewers. After that, the disinfectant must've worn off, and he became what he is now. MIMI: (Looks at Martian) It looks gross. RAUL: As long as it's dead, I don't care. Let's go. GENERAL: I quite concur, my dear friend. They walk off, not seeing one of the MARTIAN'S tentacles give one last twitch, before he finally ceases to move forever. THE END