Bucky O' Hare In Gathering the Pieces By Andrew Norris SCENE ONE Martian Central UFO, Genus The Martians have conquered much of Genus, and a cactus-like plant is slowly growing over the roads and pathways on the ground. Several CENTURION robots have the task of hacking some of this plant back from growing too much. CENTURION #1: (Grumbling) Who was the idiot who sneaked those seeds on board? CENTURION #2: No idea, but when I'm finished with them, they can have the glory of chopping back this Red Weed! INSIDE THE UFO... QUEEN SHIMORR is watching over the mind-probe machine (An electric- chair connected to a supercomputer), as an unconcious ANDREW is eased into it by two more CENTURIONS. SHIMORR: How long will the drug keep him unconcious? CENTURION #3: A maximum 24 hours unless we re-drug him after the first 12. SHIMORR: No matter; I simply want to know of his past and how he became a threat to the Martian Empire. CENTURION #3: His memory-patterns will be transferred to your mind once you speak the requested section. CENTURION #4: (Strapping down Andrew) Probe primed and ready for use, Yor Majesty. SHIMORR: (Sighs) Locate he origins of Chuck Bodgers' super-powers. She babbles slightly as the thought patterns are transferred to her. FLASHBACK, A POLICE STATION, WARWICK, ENGLAND, YEAR 2050... A much-younger ANDREW is seen in civilian wear speaking to a pencil- thin POLICE SERGEANT. Some FORENSIC OFFICERS are going over some recovered chemical flasks behind him, examining the contents. ANDREW: (Arguing) I didn't spend 16 years of my life studying just to have my career thrown away! SERGEANT: I'm sorry, Dr. Norris, but even with qualifications, we simply have no vacancies for a police officer. We'll pass on your incident report, but that is all that can be done. ANDREW: Could you at least tell me where I can get a job in the police? SERGEANT: That's not my field, I'm afraid, but I can... A FORENSIC OFFICER drops one of the chemical flasks behind them, and ANDREW helps to clear up the mess, and is cut by a shard of glass. The cut gently bleeds as the chemicals seep into his bloodstream. FORENSIC OFFICER #1: Are you OK, sir? ANDREW: Just a scratch, I'll be fine. He places the shards on a table and wraps his injury in a tissue. While walking out, he glances at his watch, and notices his bus is about to leave the stop, which is a fair distance down the road. ANDREW: (Shouts) Hey, wait! Unbeknownst to ANDREW, he runs at super-speed towards the bus and it stops before it can leave. After getting a ticket and sitting down, ANDREW notices his watch has only moved ahead five seconds. ANDREW: (To himself) Impossible! LATER... After getting off his stop, ANDREW notices three YOUTHS hanging around at the end of the street-corner, and recognizes them. ANDREW: Hey! The YOUTHS begin to turn and run, but ANDREW is directly over them in an eyeblink, and holds them to the floor as the Police arrive to arrest them. Accompanying the police is an elderly MAN in a grey business suit with a bulbous nose, sunken eyes and flat, grey hair, who approaches ANDREW and pulls him out of earshot of the police. MAN: (Frail, American Accent) Doctor Norris, my name is Rick Dicker, I'm with the National Superheros Agency, and I have a proposition for you. ANDREW: (Whispers) Superheros? Mr. Dicker, I know you're doing you're job, but I've just lost my job to those three kids and I'm still trying to find a new job, right now. DICKER: I know, that's why I'm here. AT ANDREWS' APARTMENT... ANDREW is temporarily living in an apartment for the moment, with certificates hanging on the wall, and boxes of charred antiques clustered on the floor. RICK DICKER has a laptop out on ANDREWS' coffee-table, while ANDREW observes him in an armchair. DICKER: One of the Forensic Officers at the police station was an NSA Agent, and knew of the consequences of bonding human flesh with Itelaric Acid. ANDREW: And you think that the Acid is what is making me go super-fast? DICKER: (Frowns) Super-speed, yes. If you are willing to become a superhero and cover this part of the United Kingdom for the NSA, we will pay you £20,000 annually with £10 extra for every villain you defeat. ANDREW: £20,000! And my museum salary was only £10,000! But what about a cover? DICKER: We have cover-jobs available, but in your field, we can only offer a vacancy for a History column for The British Lion newspaper, but that's all there is. ANDREW: (Sighs) Any old port in a storm, that'll do me fine. DICKER: But now, we need to fix you up with an alias. Just tell me what you want to call yourself and I'll stick it into our database. ANDREW: How about "Kid-Speed"? DICKER: (Types on his laptop) I'm afraid that isn't accepted. Being 21, you're over the child limit. ANDREW: "The Zoomster"? DICKER: (Types) Nope, sorry. ANDREW: "Mr. Fast"? DICKER: Nope. ANDREW: "Captain Speed"? "Fastman"? "Quick-Draw"? DICKER: No, no and no. Why not try and approach the name from a more national angle? ANDREW: You mean call myself something like "Union Jack"? Some hope! DICKER: Then why not think of the last name a superhero would ever have? ANDREW: (Sarcastically) "Floppy the Happy Bunny"? DICKER: Please, Dr. Norris. You must be serious on this! ANDREW: I'm sorry, how about "Chuck the Speedy"? DICKER: (Types) That's the name of an advert-character, but personally, I think Chuck sounds good for you. ANDREW: Really? Let's kick it up a notch, "Chuck Bodgers"! DICKER: Yes! They have it! ANDREW just stares on, surprised. SCENE TWO The Righteous Indignation, Present Day Along with the other frigates, Fireball XL6 and several civilian shuttles, the fleet are retreating to Warren to gather strength. BUCKY is on the bridge along with JENNY as they continue to speed into space. BUCKY: I can't believe that we were stupid enough to get ambushed! JENNY: (Soothes) Don't worry, Buck. We'll get Genus back, and we'll be fighting the Toads again. You'll see. BUCKY: Yeah, but I don't think this Mammal Empire thing is working out. Even if we didn't have a lot of money, at least we did better when we were still the UAC. JENNY: Why not speak to Fritz when we land? I'm sure he'll be willing to listen. BUCKY says nothing, but just nods meekly as they continue on the journey to Warren. ON FIREBALL XL6... FRITZ is arguing with HANNAH, BUTCH and AMD-4. An autopilot enables him to talk while the journey continues. FRITZ: (Shouts) He's probably in one of the civilian ships! Will you stop worrying?! BUTCH: Fritz, listen! You had a private shuttle that you left on Genus, so you took away Andys' only chance of escape! He could be dead on Genus now! FRITZ: If I took my shuttle, the Martians would've shot it down before I'd even left the surface! Even Rygar has reported in, and he's on a fuel-tanker! HANNAH: But Rygar is a high-ranking officer, so why do you always treat Andy like dirt? Do you *WANT* Captain Crisis to resurface! FRITZ pauses for a moment, trying to calm down. FRITZ: We have only four humans at the moment working for us: Natalie, Zak, Willy and Andy. Natalie and Willy I don't mind, as both of them are experts in their own fields. Zakaria, I am alright with as he is no more than an agent. BUTCH: (Roars) So, what is it, then?! First it was because he was fat, then that stuff about Mad Mod. What the frell is it?! FRITZ: A Historian as an officer is of no use to us, and... HANNAH: (Interrupts) Don't be stupid, Fritz! You let all of us join with no qualifications in our field of work! Is it because you're Jewish and he isn't?! FRITZ: Yes! OK? I'm racist because of his religion! AMD-4: Racial prejudice among workmates illogical. Other officers still do not fit with Judaism. FRITZ: But my family suffered abuse from members of the Church of England, the religion that Ensign Norris is. BUTCH: (Calmer) And you thought by keeping him out of the way in every mission, you could claim revenge. HANNAH: But, you have to respect that you can't fit everyone under an umbrella. OK, so there was Captain Crisis, but you've only made it worse by covering up your true feelings with other excuses. FRITZ: We'll discuss this later; we're getting close to Warren. SCENE THREE Martian Central UFO, Genus QUEEN SHIMORR is in a trance as she continues to read his mind. The two CENTURIONS watch as ANDREW lies asleep in the chair. CENTURION #3: How far has it gone? CENTURION #4: He's been in the hero business for under a year, and has got a letter requesting him to join the British Teen Titans as a mole for the NSA. CENTURION #3: This is getting boring, I'm going for an oil-bath. He clanks away as SHIMORR remains in her trance-like state. FLASHBACK, BT TOWER, BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND, YEAR 2051 ANDREW, now dressed in his Chuck Bodgers outfit, stops in front of the massive Tower standing before him. ANDREW: (To himself) Sure, I can't have a kids' name, but I'm allowed to join the Teen Titans! A large door opens to the side of the Tower, and he ascends a flight of steps into a cavernous area complete with a large computer screen, pool table and bar. ANDREW is greeted by an ASIAN MAN dressed in a pink suit with a "YGIW" logo inside a white shield. ASIAN MAN: (Indian Accent) Welcome, Chuck Bodgers! I'm You've-Got-It- Wrong Man, the head of the British Teen Titans. He addresses A GIRL wrapped in a black cloak, Another ASIAN MAN dressed in a Batman suit and a BROWN-HAIRED GIRL in a white jumpsuit. YGIW MAN: This is Gothigirl. CLOAKED GIRL: (Dull voice) Hey. YGIW MAN: Batzak. ASIAN MAN: Hi, there. YGIW MAN: And last, but not least, Chambergirl. BROWN-HAIRED GIRL: Hi, Chuck. First time anyones' taken interest in us. ANDREW: (To YGIW Man) Well, you all seem to have...interesting names. BATZAK: Yeah, but every time we deal with a fight, we usually get locked up! ANDREW: But didn't you explain who started the fight? GOTHIGIRL: You must be thinking of Chambergirl, then. LATER... With the others asleep, ANDREW is making contact with RICK DICKER. ANDREW: (Whispers) I think I've found out why they've got poor publicity. DICKER: What's the word? ANDREW: Well, have you ever known a superhero named after his catchphrase? They're names for everything aren't very realistic. DICKER: And you think that's the reason why they're not doing well? ANDREW: Not necessarily, but powers are another issue. OK, so You've- Got-It-Wrong Man has the right idea about keeping the peace, but how is superior mathematical intelligence going to be of any use? Square-root a thief? DICKER: Why not wait and see what happens when in battle and report back? ANDREW: OK, but I've got a gut-feeling that things won't go too well tomorrow. A NEWSPAPER OFFICE, THE NEXT DAY... Several WORKERS at workstations are typing up the morning story, when ANDREW strolls in in civilian wear, donning a black-eye and a plaster over his left cheek. One of the WORKERS notices ANDREW as he sits down. WORKER: Gee, doc! That's some shiner you've got! How did that happen? ANDREW: (Pause) My central-heating boiler blew up this morning, and now I've lost a packet getting a new one! WORKER: Gee, hard luck. Speaking of explosions, have you heard about the Titans? ANDREW: You mean that explosion at the National Exhibition Centre outside Birmingham? WORKER: The NEC, yeah. They reckon it was terrorists who did it, and the Titans only made matters worse, or so the Boss says. Look! He holds up a copy of a freshly-printed newspaper entitled "The British Lion". The front page caption reads: TITANS SLAUGHTERED IN HOLOCAUST - ONLY TWO SURVIVORS ANDREW: (Reading the paper) "The National Exhibition Centre outside Birmingham City was completely destroyed yesterday after a planted bomb was detonated by interference from the British Teen Titans. The only two survivors being You've-Got-It-Wrong Man, who has been forced to leave the country with slight amnesia, and newcomer Chuck Bodgers who was acquitted from treason charges". So, why was he let off the hook? WORKER: (Puts newspaper down) He was the only one of 'em more concerned with getting the people out rather than defusing the bomb. Hate to think of what the original Titans think. Suddenly, the pencil-thin MANAGER yells from the far side of the room. MANAGER: (Shouts) Norris, you've got a phone call! ANDREW picks up the phone on his desk to answer the call, while the MANAGER storms off. ANDREW: (Into phone) Good morning, The British Lion History Hints, Andrew Norris speaking. DICKER: (Over phone) Bodgers, it's me. It's about the Teen Titans. ANDREW: I'm listening. DICKER: As you're the only survivor, we think it wise that you continue with your solo career and forget about the Titans altogether. ANDREW: (Hurt) I can't abandon this project, Rick. If I was to try and recruit other solo heroes in the area, would you allow me to restart the branch? DICKER: If you're going to set up the team, you'll get no co-operation from the NSA. I'm sorry, Chuck, but it's just a shadow of a failure. You'll have to do it solo, because I think it won't last a week. ONE WEEK LATER... A news-report is playing, showing images of ANDREW in Chuck Bodgers' attire over newspapers and outside a courtroom. REPORTER: It has been one week since superhero Chuck Bodgers, well- known for his spinoff science-fiction comic-book series, reformed the British Teen Titans and made them the symbol of patriotism. But now, after a successful battle against the Martian Empire and their leader, Princess Arthuce 5th, Bodgers is being sued over damage done to the NEC by the previous Titans. ANDREW: I was acquitted over the NEC Bombing because I was doing the right thing. Why should I be labelled as guilty for a crime I didn't commit?! REPORTER: The lawsuit came just hours after a similar lawsuit by Oliver Sansweet in Municiberg, America. Sansweet was suing another superhero, Mr. Incredible, for interferring with his attempted suicide. This time, it is Chuck Bodgers being sued by the people of Birmingham City for public damage. Speaking on their behalf was the Lord Mayor of Birmingham. MAYOR: (Defiantly) This man is no more than a foolhardy wannabe with a set of pyjamas that are filled to the brim with bells and whistles. But how can such mediocre toys protect so many people? It will take more than five teenagers to protect a city with over one million residents, and I say that either Bodgers goes, or the Titans go with him! BACK IN THE PRESENT... SHIMORR slowly opens her eyes, as the images stop. She blinks slightly and stands up, looking down at the CENTURIONS. CENTURION #4: What did you find, your Majesty? SHIMORR: It appears he had outside help, but thanks to those bureaucratic pigs of a Government, they no longer pose a threat. CENTURION #3: What is to be done with him, your Majesty? SHIMORR: Lock him up for the night, and I shall examine his mind again in the morning. The CENTURIONS drag ANDREWS' limp body away, while SHIMORR rubs her head and slumps onto her throne. SCENE FOUR A Meeting Room, Warren LIEUTENANT-COLONEL ROSS WASHER is by himself, sorting paperwork into huge piles situated on his desk, when there is a knock at the door. WASHER: Come in. He gazes up, and sees FLEET ADMIRAL RYGAR BLADE, ADMIRAL HUDSON and COLONEL RAUL MEW walk into the office. WASHER: (Salutes) Greetings, Admiral, sir. What brings you here? RYGAR: I'll tell you what brings me here! All of the Genus Military has been thrown off the planet by a bunch of cosmic freeloaders! WASHER is silent for the moment, surprised to hear such a comment from his highest-ranking superior. RYGAR: (Calmer) We shall need every officer you can spare; we are allying with Warren to try and liberate Genus from the Martians. WASHER: But what about Chairman Warner? What does he say about it? RYGAR: Fritz still thinks that we're an Empire, but doesn't know about my orders. Just for the sake of victory, please don't tell him. WASHER: Why not? Is there something he did to upset you? RAUL: It was Fritz who let the invaders in in the first place, and now they've taken several civilians prisoner, and cut off all communications. WASHER: (Quieter) I see. I'll do what I can, but don't blame me if my men decide to go back on strike. He walks out, leaving the three officers alone. RAUL: What do you think, sir? Will Warrens' military be enough? HUDSON: Plus the fact that the Toads might use this to their advantage. RYGAR: If the Toads plan on defeating us, they'll no doubt try to eliminate the Martians while they are still consolidating power on Genus. HUDSON: Catch the virus before it spreads? RYGAR: Exactly, so no doubt the Toads will leave us alone for the moment. To them, we are just something they'll finish off once they conquer the Alpha Quadrant. SCENE FIVE The Toad Mothership KOMPLEX and TOADBORG are speaking when a FIGURE, darkened by shadow, marches in and halts before saluting. TOADBORG: What have you to report? FIGURE: (Hissing voice) The Martians are near completing their invasion of Genus, and have begun sending robot-scouts to survey the planet Quanta. KOMPLEX: Before they begin expanding their forces, I order you to infiltrate their base and make a false negotiation of peace while Toadborg attacks their weakest targets. Those are your orders, Major. THE FIGURE steps forward, and turns out to be a silver FEMALE-ANDROID, made to look in every way like a human woman. Part of the skull is a clear tank filled with liquid, and a pulsating, green brain. THE ANDROID smiles evilly. ANDROID: Your wish is my command, mighty KOMPLEX. TO BE CONTINUED...