Bucky O' Hare In Fatal Alliance By Andrew & Christopher Norris Based on an idea by Christopher Norris SCENE ONE The Toad Mothership TOADBORG is up on deck, watching a radar screen with several TOADS hovering about him. TOADBORG: Has contact been made with the craft? TOAD #1: We are connecting to the frequency now, sir. TOADBORG: Have you pinpointed its origin? TOAD #2: It's from the present day, sir, but may have come from outside the Aniverse. TOAD #3: The design of the ship would date it around the 29th Century, but not anything of Aniversian origin, and it is doubtful that it is an Earth machine. TOADBORG: (To Toad #1) How much longer until contact? TOAD #1: Frequency in possession...now! A mechanical face appears on the screen. The face consists of two glowing eye sensors in a tint of scarlet, with what appear to be a row of vile, yellow teeth. The metallic flesh is overall purple, with two chrome horns atop of this head. TOADBORG: Enemy craft, identify yourself immediately. FACE: (Buzzing, Sly voice) I am the Emperor Zurg of Planet Z, commander of the Star Systems of the Gamma Quadrant and ruler of all things evil. And who are you, my robotic, steam-driven friend? TOADBORG: (Irritated) I am Toadborg, the Supreme Commander of the Toad Empire serving for mighty KOMPLEX! You have entered Toad territory and will be shot down! ZURG: Unless you wish an utter failure and total loss of your fleet, I suggest you change your mind. TOADBORG: (Fuming) How dare y...! KOMPLEX suddenly appears on the screen, with a bitter and angry face. KOMPLEX: Toadborg, what is the meaning of all this? TOADBORG: This creature calling himself Emperor Zurg has entered our territory, mighty KOMPLEX. ZURG: And if you so much as breathe on my beautiful Dreadnought, KOMPLEX, I shall send every Hornet in my army to destroy you! KOMPLEX: You, Emperor, are the spearhead of a fleet of Hornets? ZURG: Yes! Hornet Warrior Robots, invincible to any form of attack, including your mediocre defences! KOMPLEX: Perhaps, Emperor, we can work out an understanding... ZURG listens carefully at what KOMPLEX has to say. SCENE TWO Genus Control Centre Alarms and klaxons are wailing frantically, as TECHNICIANS run about in circles looking distressed. Up in the Control Tower, CORPORAL NASS is again at his desk, with BUCKY playing with a joystick, while JENNY looks on. NASS: Spacecraft entering atmosphere, Captain. Air speed, 120 knots. BUCKY: Right, firing main retros by remote. Up ahead is an enormous spacecraft; painted white overall with two wings with a body of purple and the ends of these wings a bright green. The retros fire automatically, slowing the craft. Some onlookers notice a pair of wings painted onto the side of the ship in silver, with the number "42" embossed between the wings. BUCKY: (Concentrates) I'm bringing her nose up...steady... The engines of the spaceship whine as the craft slowly lands carefully just outside the Capital. The engines of the unknown spaceship grind to a halt, and both NASS and BUCKY heave sighs of relief. JENNY: Well, she's down. Any idea where she came from? NASS: I'm afraid not, Jenny. The pilot managed to bring the ship close to Orwell Station, and then he must've passed out. Orwell handed control of the ship to us, and here she is. BUCKY: Better take a look at her; see what state the crew is in. NASS: I'll have the Home Guard form a cordon around it for you. BUCKY: Thanks, Nass. Don't tell Fritz about this, he'll start throwing bureaucratic (BLEEP) at us. NASS: Right so, Captain. SCENE THREE Outside the Spacecraft, a little while later. WILLY and BLINKY are already at work attempting to defuse the code system required accessing the ship. BRUISER stands nearby, while LIEUTENANT BILLON has cordoned off the area with a small fence, as well as PRIVATE HENDERSON & PRIVATE PIERCE standing outside the WW1 Tank with bayonets fixed to their rifles. He notices BUCKY & JENNY coming up to see them. BILLON: (Salutes) Greetings, Captain. BUCKY: (Saluting back) Where is the rest of the platoon? BILLON: It's actually "company" now, as we've had so many members. Captain Squirrel is busy sorting out about the second company platoon being set up outside the Capital. JENNY: Second platoon? What's all this about? BILLON: Captain Squirrel was called away to a meeting with the UAC on expanding the Home Guard further on Genus. We're now the supposed No. 1 Company Platoon, while No. 2 Platoon is being set up further afield; the possible candidate as commanding officer being Francis Reginald, a former 2nd Lieutenant in the Genus Army Firefighting Corps. BUCKY: This is irrelevant, Billon, but thank you for telling me. He notices WILLY & BLINKY struggling with the mechanism. BUCKY nods at BRUISER, who simply nods back. BRUISER: (To Willy) Hang on, buddy. I'll get it open for ya. They step aside, as BRUISER gets ready to knock it down. With a swift move of his wrist, the door is down, revealing a well-lit area with an almost industrial kind of aura. BLINKY, BUCKY & JENNY walk in first, followed by WILLY and BRUISER. They move to a set of two doors, which swing open, revealing the cockpit. Inside are four beings. The first is a well-built HUMAN in his thirties, dressed in a mechanical spacesuit of green and white. There are four buttons placed on a console in his chest unit, with a laser built into the wrist of his glove. The second is a blue-skinned 20-year-old WOMAN in her twenties, with flowing ginger hair and a more comfortable-looking spacesuit. Near to the doors is an enormous red MONSTER in an ill-fitting outfit and undersized ears. The final crewmember is a ROBOT the same height as BLINKY, with the same wings seen on the side of the ship embossed on the ROBOT'S chest plate. The feet are tiny caterpillar tracks, whilst the head is a small golden cylinder with a mouth and two large eyes suspended inside an enormous glass jar. All of the crew are unconscious, but slowly, the HUMAN begins to rise, jumping into alert as he sees the beings inside his cockpit. HUMAN: (Aiming his laser at Bucky) Who are you? And what are you doing on my ship? WILLY: Whoa! Take it easy! We just saved your life! JENNY: It's true, your ship was floating around close to a demilitarised zone, and you could've been killed. WOMAN: (Moans as she comes round) Buzz, what happened? HUMAN: We've got us some spies, Mira. WILLY: Buzz? BUZZ: That's right, Captain Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. BUCKY: (Offering handshake) And I am Captain Bucky O' Hare of the United Animals Coalition. BUZZ: (Uneasily shakes his hand) It's kind of strange to be shaking hands with a rabbit. MIRA: Where exactly are we? BLINKY: Planet Genus, fourth planet in the NGC-1173 star system in the Esther Spiral Galaxy, Sector 19, The Aniverse. MIRA: Aniverse? Y-You mean this isn't the Universe? WILLY: Nope. BUZZ: And what is the exact year? BRUISER: Dis is 3226, an' I'm 34 today! BUCKY: And what time zone are you from? BUZZ: The Year 2816 in the 29th Century. So this is the 33rd Century? ROBOT: (Looking at Blinky, High Robotic voice) Hey, Buzz! What is this excuse for a biped? BUZZ: Easy, XR, he's your great great grandson. XR: (Exclaims) My WHAT?! BLINKY: Greetings, fellow android, I am Android First Class Blinky at your service. XR: Yeah, yeah, just keep away from me, Cyclops. BUCKY: I suppose we've both some explaining to do. SCENE FOUR The Toad Mothership KOMPLEX is on a television screen, as he shows ZURG pictures of the Planet Genus from television screens. Several TOADS mingle with some of ZURG'S servants, merely human brains inside jars of fluid that are sat atop of machines numbered individually. KOMPLEX: And this is the Planet Genus, the hive of all mammals in this Universe. ZURG: (Awestruck) Impressive, indeed, KOMPLEX. But why haven't you invaded earlier? KOMPLEX: The answer lies with the wretched United Animals Coalition, the Mammal's own resistance against my glorious empire. ZURG: And it is this small resistance group that has prevented you from invading. What about it's neighbouring planet you spoke to me about? KOMPLEX: Planet Quanta? (Snorts) Quanta is inhospitable even for my troops. The seas are corrosive acid, making it impossible to establish bases, particularly during the raining season. The climate is like a desert at times, and there have been rumours of Death Worms roaming much of the planet. Not even Climate Converters could land on the planet long enough without being destroyed by the weather. The acid could eat through a tank. ZURG: I see, and this Genus, what does it's Capital look like? KOMPLEX: See for yourself. One of the TOADS at the computer desk types the keys, and pictures of Genus show up. ZURG continues to flick through them. The Titanic II now resting outside Genus Memorial Gardens, The Genus Control Centre, The UAC HQ, and then a picture shows up of BUZZ LIGHTYEAR'S ship. ZURG goes livid as his demonic red eyes begin to glow. ZURG: (Furious) LIGHTYEAR?!?! SCENE FIVE Team Lightyear are repairing the vessel in separate places with the aid of the mammals. MIRA and CORPORAL NASS are welding sheets of metal over a scorch-dent on one side, while the enormous red MONSTER is at work moving heavy crates back and forth with ease. XR and BLINKY are having a staring contest together, while BUZZ speaks to JENNY & BUCKY as they watch the work progress. BUCKY: So this Galactic Alliance, how did you say it started again? BUZZ: Shortly after World War Three, the Galactic Protectorate was instated during the 24th Century while NASA was finding its feet. Then in 2693, Earth Venus and Mars came together in a political bond along with the Protectorate, to form the United Space Coalition as well as a promise to keep politics to a minimum as a result of WW3. JENNY: (Getting curious) What exactly happened in WW3? BUZZ: It was a war that lasted through the 22nd and 23rd Centuries. Just another political tyrant trying to have things his own way until the Resistance Groups sprouted up. We don't really like to talk about it. JENNY: (Apologetic) Oh! I'm so sorry! BUZZ: Don't worry about it; I get questions asked a lot. BUCKY: (Impatient) You were saying, Captain, the United Space Coalition. BUZZ: Oh, yes! The Coalition ran until the Year 2781. The HQ had been moved from the Moon there and to its Space Station, Lightbuoy. Lightbuoy was moved to another sector of space and given a new coat of paint. She is now Star Command, my HQ and now orbiting Planet Neptune in Sector 4. For no reason at all, the Coalition's name was changed to The Galactic Alliance when Commander Nebula took over the Coalition in 2780. We now cover almost half of the populated planets in the known Universe, its just Zurg that's stopping us. JENNY: And Zurg is? BUZZ: Emperor Zurg is a tyrant who intends to use the Universe at his every whim. He has an army of Hornet robots to command, as well as a collection of very ugly brains-in-jars. (To himself) Except for No. 18, now he was a good sport. BUCKY: Buzz, it's vital that you get your ship repaired and get out of here before Zurg gets to know KOMPLEX better. BUZZ: Yeah, you did mention this guy before, what's he like? BUCKY: Let's just say he's a more inhuman version of Zurg for the moment. The MONSTER walks up to BUZZ, and the pair exchange salutes. BUZZ: Well, Booster, what've you got? BOOSTER: (Excitable Voice) We're nearly complete, sir. Not long now before we can... A klaxon begins to wail all around them, as COLONEL RAUL MEW begins to speak on a radio. RAUL: (On Tannoy) Emergency! Home Guard on alert! Unidentified craft approaching Genus! Standby! Emergency! Emergency Red! As the klaxon continues to wail, PRIVATES HENDERSON & PIERCE leave in the Tank along with LIEUTENANT BILLON. As they leave, ZURG'S Dreadnought appears over Genus, pointing out that it had jammed the Defence System when entering the atmosphere. BUZZ, MIRA, BOOSTER & XR: (In unison) Zurg! The Dreadnought slowly lands, and an army of yellow robots disembark. They have obviously been designed as warriors, with no other appendages except to sets of machine guns that discharge laser beams. XR: Hornets! BUCKY, DEADEYE & BRUISER charge at the robots with all their might, kicking and firing at the battalion. Yet the more that appear to be destroyed, the more Hornets disembark. MIRA, BOOSTER & BUZZ lend a hand with their own lasers concealed inside their gloves. XR suddenly turns into a Swiss-army-knife as guns fly out of small compartments built into him. WILLY is able to make some malfunction with his water pistol, while JENNY smashes through the Hornets with hard kicks as though these invaders are paper. MIRA: (Panting) There's too many of them! BUCKY: We have to get inside the ship and stop whatever's making them tick! The small group begin to fight their way towards the gaping mouth of the Dreadnought, while ZURG watches them on a TV screen on the Bridge. ZURG: (Cackles) Come to me, my prey. He pulls a lever, and instantly, the doors of the Dreadnought slam shut. The Dreadnought slowly takes off with the group trapped on board. SCENE SIX Inside The Dreadnought The group continue further into Zurg's ship, the Hornets in hot pursuit. There are only six left, which are soon destroyed by both XR and WILLY. The group pant for breath as they try to form a plan. BUZZ: Right, so the Dreadnought has launched from Genus with us on board, intent on capturing us rather than wiping out Genus. WILLY: Which is a good thing, right? VOICE: (Metallic) Not quite! The door to several corridors slam shut, and along the only open corridor comes a large metal ROBOT, like a better-built equivalent of XR. The robot has a sinister red face, with arms and legs that don't match, all on a gigantic green torso. ROBOT: (Cackles, looking at XR) Hey, brother! Remember me? XR: (Nervously) Heh, heh. Hello, XL. BUCKY: (Aiming his gun at XL) Stay where you are and put your hands up! XL: (Laughs) Do you really think that peashooter will knock me down? Suddenly, XL begins to shudder, as MIRA appears from inside his torso, clutching a set of coloured wires. MIRA moves out of the way, as XL begins to babble gibberish. XL: (Shivers) Hey! What's going on? Unknown to the rest of the group, JENNY casts a quick spell, and XL clatters to the ground, his cylindrical red head lying offline on the floor. BUZZ & BUCKY: (In unison) Malfunction. BOOSTER: Come on! Let's go get Zurg! BRUISER slams the door with his fist. BOOSTER gives a small puff of breath, and the door falls off its hinges and one of the corridors are clear. DEADEYE: C'mon! I wanna kick some stainless-steel butt! They all run through the door. XL recovers himself, as his head begins to roll around. ZURG: (On radio inside XL's head) XL, have you managed to stop Lightyear? XL: Well, yes and no. ZURG: What do you mean "yes and no"? XL: (Thinks of an excuse) Well, yes because I stopped a rabbit from shooting me, and no because they tore out my Neuronal Relay. ZURG: (Snarls) Idiot! Not only have you put my alliance with KOMPLEX in danger, but you have also proved that you can't even catch a rabbit! You must fend for yourself, now! SCENE SEVEN The Toad Mothership TOADBORG is listening to the conversation between XL and ZURG. He sighs angrily at XL'S incompetence. TOADBORG: So, XL failed. It appears that Emperor Zurg is more incompetent than thought. He notices a TOAD passing by. TOADBORG: (Points to Toad) You there! How far off is the Dreadnought? TOAD: About 7000 kiloglides, sir. TOADBORG: And what is the maximum speed of a Toad Tritomic warhead? TOAD: 8500 kiloglides, sir. TOADBORG: In that case, have a Tritomic warhead placed into position. Target the Dreadnought, fire on my command. TOAD: Yes, sir. He walks off, leaving TOADBORG to think. TOADBORG: I can get rid of that pesky Bucky O' Hare as well as Zurg in the same go. It'll be like killing two birds with one stone. SCENE EIGHT Generator Plant, The Dreadnought Several BRAINPODS are on guard by the massive generators that power the ship. Alongside them are massive Hornets, now super-sized and a tint of red. BRAINPOD #1: These Super-Hornets give me the creeps. BRAINPOD #2: You're telling me. I asked for a light the other day, and I got a flamethrower! BRAINPOD #3: What about them Toad things, do you trust them? BRAINPOD #1: Not as far as I can throw them! BRAINPOD #4: The Emperor's gone loopy; he'll have the Toad Empire after him as well as the Galactic Alliance. BRAINPOD #2: Well, I don't know about you fellas, but I'm off for some Intelligence Fluids, want to come with? BRAINPODS #1, #3, #4: (Garbled) Sure! You bet! Anything to get outta this dump! As they move off, XR watches them from a gallery up above. XR: (Whispers) They're gone. WILLY: Right, now it's pretty simple. All we have to do is jam the Generators and run. XR: But there are four generators on the Dreadnought, it'll be hours before we can actually escape. JENNY: Not exactly, we can just do them in separate groups, but what are we going to use to jam them? XR pulls out a large manual from his compartment; it is a heavy print with literally thousands of pages. XR: My book on Engine Maintenance might do the trick. BOOSTER: (Pulling out a paper bag) I've got some Creamed Sweetcorn that I could use. WILLY: I've got some nickels that might work. MIRA: I'll distract the Super-Hornets while you jam the Generators. They all split up, and position themselves over the massive turbines. JENNY'S spell gems begin to glow, while MIRA appears from out of the floor in front of the Super-Hornets. MIRA: Hey, Boys! The Super-Hornets begin to fire at the floor, while MIRA begins to dodge their superb firepower. Up on one gallery, BUZZ comes face to face with ZURG, who has appeared out of nowhere. ZURG: So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time! BUZZ: Not today, Zurg! The pair goes into a fierce battle with one another, echoing MIRA & the Super-Hornets. WILLY, BOOSTER & XR all drop their junk into the turbines, while JENNY zaps her generator with her powers. As the generators become clogged, the resulting explosion wipes out the Super- Hornets, and knocks BUZZ over the side of the gallery, clinging onto one of the Safety-Barriers with a free hand. ZURG smiles evilly. ZURG: This is a fitting end, isn't it, Lightyear? (He hovers one of his concealed feet over BUZZ'S hand) I consider this a step in the right direction. Before he can do any more, the group are teleported by an outside force off of the Dreadnought. ZURG: (Fuming) Curse you, Lightyear! SCENE NINE Buzz Lightyear's Spaceship The group are teleported on board the ship, where BLINKY and a DOG greet them. The DOG is wearing a similar uniform to LIEUTENANT BILLON, but with one pip on each shoulder, and a small square on each arm reading "CP2". WILLY & JENNY: (In unison) Blinky! XR: (Perky) Blinky! My man! My hero! You sure saved my can! When I say, "can", I think you know what I'm talking about! BLINKY: Humble robot did not teleport friends onto ship, humble spaceship not designed with facilities for Android First Class. 2nd Lieutenant Reginald teleported friends. BUCKY: Not 2nd Lieutenant Francis Reginald of Home Guard Company Platoon 2? REGINALD: (Kent accent) The very same, old boy. After the Dreadnought left, nobody seemed to know how to operate the ship except me, so Blinky and I came to rescue you. BUZZ: But how did you know how to operate a Galactic Alliance Starcruiser? REGINALD: (Puzzled) So that's what they're called nowadays, is it? No, this is an exact duplicate of a Firefighting Corps. Vessel! BUZZ: Well, Bucky. We'd better be getting back to Star Command, and I guess this is goodbye. BUCKY: (Shakes his hand) Goodbye, Buzz. BOOSTER & BRUISER shake hands, as do JENNY & MIRA, except for XR & BLINKY, for XR begins to cry, with BLINKY being squeezed between his arms. After an exchange of goodbyes, all the Mammals are teleported back to Genus. XR: (To Blinky) Bye, son! Take care! MIRA: Say, I wonder what happened to them Toads? SCENE TEN The Toad Mothership TOADOBRG is watching progress as the tritomic warhead is placed in position, with several TOADS scattered about him. TOADBORG: What is the Dreadnought's position? TOAD #1: Position 1276 White, sir. Speed, 176 kiloglides an hour. TOADBORG: Hmm, a little slow, aren't we Zurg? TOAD #2: Warhead locked. TOAD #3: Dreadnought targeted. TOADBORG: Fire! As the warhead veers off into space, the TOADS begin to panic. TOAD #2: Toad Cruiser in range! TOAD #1: Dreadnought altering course to 5170 Yellow! TOAD #3: Warhead locked onto Cruiser! TOAD #4: Cruiser bearing 1276 White, speed neutral! TOAD #1: Impact in ten seconds! TOAD #5: Dreadnought is clear of Danger Zone, speed now 200 kiloglides per hour. There is a slight explosion from across space. TOAD #2: Cruiser damaged on port side, 15 Double Bubbles and 7 crewmembers destroyed. TOAD #4: Dreadnought out of range. TOAD #3: Incoming transmission from Cruiser. THE TOAD FIELD MARSHAL appears on the screen, with a livid look on his face. FIELD MARSHAL: Toadborg, what the frell do you think you're doing? This Cruiser is carrying vital supplies for the Toad War effort! TOADBORG: I am sorry, Field Marshal, but I was aiming for a different vessel. FIELD MARSHAL:(Inquiring) The Dreadnought of Emperor Zurg? TOADBORG: How did you know? FIELD MARSHAL: Word gets around quick on the Toad Homeworld. Expect a tribunal with the ST in 4 hours time, Field Marshal out. He severs the link, and TOAD #5 speaks up. TOAD #5: Incoming transmission from the Toad Homeworld. KOMPLEX appears on the screen, his entire face a tint of scarlet. KOMPLEX: (Livid) Toadborg, you blundering imbecile! First you attempt to assassinate Emperor Zurg when both he and I were cementing an alliance, and then you destroy an ST Cruiser! Not even the Air Marshal is as stupid as that! Return to the Toad Homeworld at once! The link is severed, and TOADBORG mutters to himself. TOAD #1: Do you think KOMPLEX will let him off lightly? TOAD #4: I think KOMPLEX will have him laid off. TOAD #2: Yeah! (Mimics KOMPLEX) "Not even the Air Marshal is as stupid as that!" KOMPLEX appears again. KOMPLEX: (Still angry) That goes for you too, Private! TOAD #2 slumps on the computer desk as the Mothership trails off intp space. THE END