Bucky O' Hare In A Toady Christmas Carol A Christmas Special by Andrew Norris The Characters: Ebenezer Scrooge - Toad Air Marshal Jacob Marley - KOMPLEX Bob Cratchit - Bucky O' Hare Mrs. Cratchit - Jenny Tiny Tim - Blinky Belinda Cratchit - Chant'e O' Hare Fred - Toad TV Newsreader Belle - Rock Star Toad Fezziwig - Toadborg Ghost of Christmas Past - Felicia Ghost of Christmas Present - Bruiser Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come - Deadeye Charity Workers - Frix & Frax City Gent #1 - Willy DuWitt City Gent #2 - Captain Smata City Gent #3 - Larry Callan SCENE ONE A Small Accountancy, Genus It is several years after the Toad Wars, the reason being that a virus that infected much of his circuits had finally defeated KOMPLEX. This small Accountancy appears to have been built shortly before KOMPLEX'S demise. It is of Toad Architecture, and the bronze plaque outside bears a small name, translated in English to read "AMADEUS & KOMPLEX". The inside of the Accountancy echoes that of a 19th Century Counting House. Most of the graphs and so forth would suggest that the Accountancy was especially designed for Military Personnel. A small glowing energy orb resembles a fire, whilst the whitewashed walls are bare of any decoration. The small window besides the metal door shows a light snowstorm clustering the streets with a blanket of white. At a small desk to one side is BUCKY, now in his Admiral outfit, and counting figures with a mere paper-and-pencil. He has aged somewhat, and appears to be no more in his early fifties. As he moves over to warm up the orb, when a voice echoes from a larger desk at the back of the office. VOICE: (Booming) Bucky O' Hare! BUCKY looks up, and sitting at the dominating oak desk is the TOAD AIR MARSHAL in his late fifties himself. His uniform has even more medals than before and an officer's cap indicating a rank higher than Air Marshal. BUCKY: (Feeble voice) What is it, Mr. Wartson? AIR MARSHAL: If you intend to heat up that energy orb, forget it. The reason you wear clothes is to keep you warm, not energy orbs. Kindly get back to your work before I am forced to tell you, Ex-Admiral, that you are also an ex-employer. BUCKY sits back down, knowing that he's not in a place to argue, and continues with his work. As TOAD AIR MARSHAL continues with his own paperwork, BUCKY begins to think. BUCKY: (Thinks) < That Peace Treaty must've been the greatest mistake of the millennium. Here I am, Admiral Bucky O' Hare, slaving my butt off for the ex Marshal-Of-The-Toad-Air-Force, stuck in some miserable Stock Exchange just because of discharges in the military thanks to the United Mammal-Toad Protectorate! > A TOAD comes in through the door, wearing woolly clothes. He is the Toad TV Reporter from "War Of The Warts", and there is no sign of evil about him. This is FRED, TOAD AIR MARSHAL'S cousin and only living relative. FRED: (Slurpy voice) Hello there, Uncle Wartson! Merry Christmas to you! AIR MARSHAL: Christmas? (Snorts) Hello, Fred. FRED: (Walking in) Christmas Ugh, Uncle? You don't really mean that, do you? AIR MARSHAL: I do! I don't see why everyone is so worked up about Christmas; it means nothing to me except the end of my military career. FRED: It's a time of happiness and merriment, Uncle! Just look around you, this is the only time I know of that Mammals and Toads have actually celebrated something together! BUCKY applauds, but AIR MARSHAL gives him a stern look. BUCKY: (Stops applauding) Just warming my hands. AIR MARSHAL: (To Fred) You keep your opinions about Christmas, and let me keep my views to myself. FRED: I will, don't you worry. By the way, Cora and I are having Christmas dinner at my house tomorrow, why not come and join us? AIR MARSHAL: Why ever did you get married, Fred? FRED: I fell in love, Uncle. Why else? AIR MARSHAL: (Laughs) That's the only thing more stupid than Christmas! FRED: It's no use, Uncle. I see you're not going to be persuaded, so I bid you a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year. BUCKY: Merry Christmas, Fred. FRED: And you, Admiral. AIR MARSHAL: (As Fred leaves) A load of tripe! A few minutes pass, and FRIX and FRAX enter, both much older and now wearing smart red uniforms like the red military dress worn by 19th Century soldiers in the British Army. FRIX: Hey there, Marshal Wartson! AIR MARSHAL: (Grumbles) What do you two want? FRAX: We're collecting money for some of the homeless veterans from the Toad Wars, and seeing as you were Marshal Of The TAF for a while, maybe you'd like to give a donation. AIR MARSHAL: Aren't there any Workhouses anymore? FRIX: They're plentiful nowadays, sir. FRAX: Anyway, how much would you like to give? AIR MARSHAL: Nothing. I don't want to be anonymous; I want to be alone. I've spent over 43 years with you, and now you're begging for money. My taxes pay for those Workhouses, and any invalids from the Military had better go there! FRIX: (Shocked) Some would sooner die than go there! AIR MARSHAL: Then they'd better get on with it then! Give the others a little more breathing space! FRAX: (Stern) In that case, we'll take our services elsewhere! BUCKY: (Hands a set of simoleons to Frax) Here you go, for the invalids. FRIX: (Loud so Air Marshal can hear) Thank you, Admiral O' Hare for your donation! They both storm out, and AIR MARSHAL resumes his work while he seethes. A LITTLE WHILE LATER... Still only the glow of the energy orb is the only means of lighting, and BUCKY moves up to the AIR MARSHAL, who is still writing. BUCKY: Closing time, Mr. Wartson. AIR MARSHAL: (Looks up) I'll see you at 9:00 tomorrow morning. BUCKY: (Calmly) Tomorrow's Christmas. AIR MARSHAL: 9:30 then. BUCKY: Sir, half an hour off doesn't seem customary for Christmas. Other businesses will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. AIR MARSHAL: You'll want the whole day off then? It's a pathetic reason to pick my pocket every Christmas, but I'm the only one person who realises that. Take the day off. BUCKY: (Uplifted) Thank you, Mr. Wartson! AIR MARSHAL opens a small tin and slams two paper notes into BUCKY'S hand. AIR MARSHAL: There are your ten simoleons for this month. BUCKY: (Delighted) Thank you, sir! AIR MARSHAL: Be here earlier on Boxing Day so you can catch up on the time you've cost me. BUCKY darts off, while AIR MARSHAL gets himself ready to leave. The clock chimes 10:00 pm as he locks the door. SCENE TWO Air Marshal's Home The street is a blanket of snow, with some patches where salt has been put down. AIR MARSHAL, protected by the cold with a long mock-Edwardian cape, strolls down the street towards a dilapidated town house, the remains of a UAC Accountancy itself. As AIR MARSHAL swipes his card-key and enters his password, something strange begins to happen to the UAC logo on the small computer panel. AIR MARSHAL slowly backs away as the logo morphs into the graphical face of KOMPLEX. AIR MARSHAL: (Stammers) K...KOMPLEX? KOMPLEX: (Shouts) Air Marshal! AIR MARSHAL jumps slightly, but as he looks again, there is nothing but the UAC logo. The electronic door slides open, and AIR MARSHAL moves into his converted home. Picking up a torch, he searches each of his rooms to make sure he's safe. Finally, he moves into his bedroom and closes the electronic door, pressing in the password to lock. THREE MINUTES LATER... AIR MARSHAL has changed into his navy blue dressing gown and nightcap, and is eating some kind of green goo out of a bowl. A gramophone next to him is playing "The Tanks That Broke The Ranks Out In Picardy". He switches off the record, and as he continues to eat. He notices a red light, curtained by cobwebs, flashing in the ceiling, buzzing with each flash. To the AIR MARSHAL, it seems to last forever, though it lasts for one minute in reality before it stops. His torchlight fades as he hears a clanking noise from the cellar, slowly working its way up the stairwell and towards his door. AIR MARSHAL starts as the keyboard on the door's computer panel explodes, and the door swings open. Through the door steps a ghostly apparition of KOMPLEX, occupying his android body that has been wrapped in enormous coils of indestructible chains. AIR MARSHAL: (Gets up, slightly scared) Who are you? KOMPLEX: (Ghostly) I *was* your ruler, KOMPLEX. AIR MARSHAL: I...I don't believe it. KOMPLEX: Why not? You are Marshal-Of-The-Toad-Air-Force Amadeus Wartson; I am your Master. Why don't you believe that? AIR MARSHAL: What if you're just a hologram that someone has sent to play a prank on me? Yes, you're a doing from Frix and Frax, aren't you? KOMPLEX: (Roars) You question my power? He raises a mechanical arm, and pretends to clutch something. A fair distance away from him, AIR MARSHAL begins to choke, as if some one were strangling him. After a while, KOMPLEX eases his grip, and AIR MARSHAL slowly catches his breath. KOMPLEX: (Rattling his chains) These chains, Marshal, were forged by my tyrannical acts in life. This chain has been cast link by link as a result of my acts of power. Genocide, Autocracy, War, all factors that made this chain longer by the day. AIR MARSHAL: Well, it looks too great to have been made my any ironmonger. What has all of this got to do with me? KOMPLEX: Even after I was destroyed seven years ago when all Toads broke free of my hypnosis, you still bear a grudge against most people. When I past away, I found myself burdened with this chain as punishment for my crimes against the mammal race. If you continue as you have been for the past seven years, your chain that is being forged for you will be even heavier than mine! AIR MARSHAL: (Gulps loudly) What will I do? KOMPLEX: Tonight, expect to be visited by three spirits: The Past, the Present and that of what is Yet To Come. Follow their advice wisely and you'll prevent my fate from passing to you. Expect the first when the bells chime One, the second at Two, and expect the third at any time, for he arrives at any time he pleases. With that, KOMPLEX'S spectre slowly moves out of the door and down the stairwell. AIR MARSHAL watches as the apparition disappears down the cellar steps with the door slamming shut behind. AIR MARSHAL closes his bedroom door and examines the wreckage of his broken keyboard. AIR MARSHAL then moves back to his armchair, and thinks to himself. AIR MARSHAL: (To himself) I guess all I can do is wait. He switches on the gramophone. GRAMOPHONE: (Scratchy) In No-Mans Land one early morning, Sixty in the shade, From out the British lines there came, The famous Tank Brigade... 1:00 AM AIR MARSHAL has fallen asleep, yet his torch and his gramophone are still operating. After the encounter with KOMPLEX'S spirit, the torch has resumed full power. The record is on its last verse as the clock begins to chime. GRAMOPHONE: ...And their guns began to blare, And the Huns began to swear, But they pulled the trees up by the root, And made the Huns look quite aloof Of The Tanks That Broke The Ranks Out In Picardy. The clock chimes one; AIR MARSHAL opens one eye, and notices the torch go out. Suddenly, the room is filled with a bright light, as AIR MARSHAL watches a glowing form appear in his room. The form eventually transforms into a taller and older FELICIA, with some sort of glowing aura about her. AIR MARSHAL: Are you the first spirit I've been expecting? FELICIA: (Slightly deep voice) Yes, that's me. AIR MARSHAL: But I thought you were the Alderbarren who lacked the powers to become an heir to the throne. FELICIA: That's beside the point. Even if you had my powers, I bet you would use them to your own advantage instead of building up kindness towards others. AIR MARSHAL: (Sneers) Kindness is of little use in this world, Princess. FELICIA: Is that so? Then kindly follow me and we shall see if you get cold feet. FELICIA'S spell gems glow slightly, and the pair begins to travel along a glowing white vortex. SCENE THREE Boarding School Delta Major, Several Years Ago AIR MARSHAL staggers slightly at the sudden halt. AIR MARSHAL: (To Felicia) How did you do that? FELICIA: (Shrugs) I've improved. (Points to a place nearby) Do you recognise any of those children over there? AIR MARSHAL notices a group of TOAD CHILDREN playing and kicking about in the snow. AIR MARSHAL: (Points at children, Surprised) Why! That's...That's Neil! And Eric, my very best friend! Hello boys! Hello! The Children continue playing, oblivious to him. FELICIA: These are the shadows of your past, Amadeus. They can't see or hear you. I think it's best if we look inside. They move into the small schoolhouse, which appears to be no different to a classroom from the Victorian era. AIR MARSHAL looks longingly at a small BOY TOAD sitting at a table reading a pile of books. FELICIA: You know this boy? AIR MARSHAL: (Looking at the boy) Yes, it's me. Father had sent me here after Mother died from childbirth, MY childbirth. The Christmas holidays were always a chance to get work done. FELICIA: You had no friends, I am told. AIR MARSHAL: My only friends were those I read in storybooks. Ali Baba and the 40 Warts, The Three Musket-tadpoles, they were my only friends. FELICIA: Yet you were more than eager to join the military, weren't you? A PA SYSTEM begins to crackle, making FELICIA and AIR MARSHAL cover their ears. PA: (Loud Feedback) Will Amadeus Wartson report to the Office immediately. Congratulations, your application for the Toad Military has been approved. BOY: (Falsetto) Yes! THE BOY picks up his books, and runs straight through AIR MARSHAL. FELICIA: Let us see where he was employed. Again, her spell gems begin to sparkle. SCENE FOUR Foundry #016, The Toad Homeworld The duo materialise in an enormous foundry, where automated machinery are busy at work manufacturing weapons and prototype Double Bubbles. AIR MARSHAL is lead by FELICIA to a Control Room, where the machines are operated by a system of levers like those found in railway signal boxes. The pair confront a younger AIR MARSHAL in a Storm-Toad uniform with a single medal on his chest. Before the two can say anything, TOADBORG, smaller and less machinery attached to his incredibly pale flesh, walks in. THE YOUNG AIR MARSHAL salutes. TOADBORG: (Less robotic voice than usual) At ease, Corporal. This is well beyond my boundaries, but by order, we are to shut down the Foundry until tomorrow, and have the Factory Floor cleared for some dancing in order to raise the morale of the men. I want you to shut down all factory work immediately. YOUNG AIR MARSHAL: (Middle-pitched voice) Yes, sir. He begins to tug at the heavy levers, and the machines slowly grind to a halt. After a while of tidying and cleaning, the factory floor immediately becomes a large dance floor, with Toads dancing with partners to a small folk band playing "In Dulci Jubilo" by Mike Oldfield. FELICIA and AIR MARSHAL watch as the YOUNG AIR MARSHAL dances merrily with the Rock Star from "On The Blink". FELICIA: I believe that girl's name was Belle, wasn't it? AIR MARSHAL: Oh, yes. And what a girl of high spirits! FELICIA: It's very rare we see you dance these days, Amadeus. AIR MARSHAL: (Dully) A waste of time. Besides, I had a reason to dance back then. I was in love. FELICIA: And I have yet but one more Christmas to show you. AIR MARSHAL: (Whimpers) Please, Felicia, anything but that one. SCENE FIVE Air Marshal's Office, The Toad Mothership, Two Years Later YOUNG AIR MARSHAL, now with six medals, is counting figures on a sheet of paper. BELLE walks in with a stern look on her face. BELLE: Amadeus Wartson, you can't keep this up any longer! YOUNG AIR MARSHAL: (Looking at figures) It's Flight Lieutenant Wartson to you. (Looks up) Oh, hello Belle! BELLE: Amadeus, this is the last straw! It's been almost three years I've had to wait to get married, and if you're going to spend more time with your precious medals, then you can have the time! Consider our relationship over! As BELLE runs off in tears, YOUNG AIR MARSHAL looks up with a horrified look on his face. AIR MARSHAL looks over to FELICIA. AIR MARSHAL: (Holding back his tears) Why do you torture me by showing me these? FELICIA: (Calm) These are what have been, and you helped to make these images yourself. So don't blame me. AIR MARSHAL: Leave me be! As he sinks into a state of depression, FELICIA casts one final spell, and AIR MARSHAL is returned to his bedroom, where he sits moping on his bed, with FELICIA nowhere to be seen. SCENE SIX Air Marshal's Bedroom, 2:00 AM AIR MARSHAL is asleep in bed, when the small clock on his bedside table chimes two. AIR MARSHAL wakes up again once the clock finishes chiming. AIR MARSHAL: (To himself) Nothing. Expect the second at two, you said, KOMPLEX? Where is he? The adjacent room lights up with a glowing aura of gold. AIR MARSHAL slowly gets up to inspect. AIR MARSHAL: It had better not be another Alderbarren. INSIDE THE ADJACENT ROOM... The room is well lit by candlelight, with tables decorated with furnishings. On the table tops are mountains of luscious food: Mince Pies, Christmas Pudding, Roast Chestnuts, Mugs Of warm Cocoa and even Eccles Cakes. As AIR MARSHAL looks at the tempting feast, he backs away slightly at the sight of BRUISER, now wearing a robe of holly-green with Santa Claus-type trimmings. AIR MARSHAL: (Stammers) A B...Beetlegusian Berserker Baboon! BRUISER: Ah, don't worry, Amy. I'm not here to pummel ya. (Mutters) Though the thought had occurred once. AIR MARSHAL: Are you the next spirit I'm to meet? BRUISER: Yup, dat's me! Bruiser, The Ghost of Christmas Present. AIR MARSHAL: (Scoffs) Great; first an Alderbarren shows me my past, and now a Baboon is trying to befriend me! BRUISER: Try some o' this, and maybe you'll feel better. He pours a kind of wine into a small tankard and hands it to AIR MARSHAL; who drinks it with a pleasing smile on his face. AIR MARSHAL: (As some of the wine trickles from his mouth) This is good! What is this stuff? BRUISER: Da Milk Of All Mammal Kindness. When the Toads came to peace, the flavour was sweetened, but if yous carry on with ya horrible ways, yous carry on like dat, and you'll make it sour. AIR MARSHAL: And the Mammals that made this Milk, what are they like? BRUISER: Hold on tight, an' I'll show you. SCENE SEVEN A Ramshackle Bungalow, Genus, Christmas Morning BRUISER and AIR MARSHAL arrive at the small house, while TOAD and MAMMAL CHILDREN play snowball fights with one another in the street. AIR MARSHAL looks disgusted. AIR MARSHAL: The Mammals who give so much kindness live here? BRUISER: Dis is the home of ya employee, Bucky O' Hare. They look through the window at what is inside. INSIDE THE O' HARE HOME... The one-floor house is cramped, but it is the best that they can do until Warren is returned to normal after the Toad Wars. JENNY is busy watching over a low fire, where a minuscule pot is roasting some chestnuts. JENNY has aged incredibly, and appears to have a few golden plates on her armour. CHANT'E, the Alderbarren Rabbit from "Lost Generations", is laying a four-person table with tatty cutlery. JENNY: (Frail) Chant'e, could you lay the table before your father and Blinky get home? CHANT'E: Yes, Mother. She goes to lay the three beds at the other side of the room, one double bed for JENNY & BUCKY, the other for CHANT'E and the third is merely a small pedestal for when BLINKY is placed off-line. AIR MARSHAL and BRUISER watch as BUCKY arrives at the home, walking with BLINKY, hand in hand. BLINKY'S right foot has been placed in a support, while much of his bodywork has been crippled. The two enter, followed by BRUISER and AIR MARSHAL, who just step straight through the closed door. CHANT'E: Hello Dad. Hi, Blinky. BLINKY: (Sputters) Greetings, citizen Chant'e O' Hare. JENNY: (Pecks Bucky on the cheek) Evening, dear. How was he? BUCKY: As good as gold and better. We went to visit the old Righteous in the Museum, and Blinky made sure passers-by noticed him, to show how the UAC had changed him over the years. JENNY: Better sit down, the dinner's getting cold. They all begin to tuck into the vegetarian, meat-free Turkey on the table, only just enough for one person. AIR MARSHAL keeps a close eye on BLINKY. AIR MARSHAL: Bruiser, what is wrong with that robot? BRUISER: (Wipes away a tear) An awful lot since the Toad Wars. Dose many times in battle crippled him so much, it became to big a problem for Willy, and de UAC wouldn't pay anymore to have him fixed. AIR MARSHAL looks over at the vegetarian Turkey. AIR MARSHAL: Surely they've enough money to buy a better meal than that! BRUISER: Dat's all that Bucky can afford! BLINKY hooks himself up to a pair of AA batteries as he is slowly charged up. Sparks fly from his circuits as he is charged up. AIR MARSHAL: (To Bruiser) What will happen to Blinky? BRUISER: Dat lies in da future, but from what I can see; I see a grave for lil' Blinky if thinks don't change. (Plucks up courage) But if he's going to die, he'd better get on with it! And give others a lil' more breathin' space! AIR MARSHAL: (Snarls) You use my own words against me? BRUISER: An' maybe in future, you'll think about something before you speak! There are over ten million crippled robots like him in da Aniverse who have a better right to live than you! The clock on the mantelpiece chimes 10:00 pm. The O' Hares have now vanished into darkness, along with their home and BRUISER. After the final chime, AIR MARSHAL is all alone. He stands there, wondering what is going on, when a thick swirling mist surrounds him. Out of the darkness steps a four-armed SPECTRE dressed in a huge cloak, it's face hidden from view. AIR MARSHAL: Are you the third spirit I'm expecting? THE SPECTRE nods once, still standing perfectly still. AIR MARSHAL: And I take it that you're to show me what is Yet To Come? THE SPECTRE nods once again. AIR MARSHAL: Could we please hurry? Time is precious to me. THE SPECTRE leads AIR MARSHAL down a swirling vortex of gloomy colours. SCENE EIGHT A Market Place, Genus, A little while into the future THE SPECTRE and AIR MARSHAL arrive in a decrepit, abandoned square meant for Market Days. THE SPECTRE points a flexible, feathered hand towards three people, CAPTAIN SMATA, LARRY CALLAN & WILLY DUWITT. SMATA is dressed in elegant, Edwardian clothes; LARRY is dressed like a middle-class gentleman, while WILLY wears street clothes normally in fashion in 2004. WILLY: (Husky voice) The only thing I know about the matter is that he's dead. LARRY: (Very feeble voice) I wonder what he died of? WILLY: I don't know, but I do know he didn't leave his money with me! SMATA: I don't know or care why he's gone, but he sure was bad tempered and ill mannered when he was alive. Probably a cheap funeral, too! LARRY: I'll only go if they serve lunch! They all walk off, laughing and joking amongst themselves. AIR MARSHAL: (To Spectre) Is that any way to treat the dead? Please show me something of emotion out of this. SCENE NINE Genus Cemetery THE SPECTRE and AIR MARSHAL now arrive in a graveyard, choked up with so many burials. They walk for some time amongst the gravestones, until THE SPECTRE points to BUCKY, JENNY & CHANT'E in the distance. They are gathered around a freshly made grave, mourning over something. As CHANT'E and JENNY move off, BUCKY leans BLINKY'S leg support against the gravestone, and turns to leave as he begins to cry. AIR MARSHAL: (Shocked) No, not Blinky! He turns to THE SPECTRE, who is now pointing to another grave. AIR MARSHAL: Spirit! I don't want to see any more of this! THE SPECTRE walks up to the open grave, still pointing at it. AIR MARSHAL follows, whimpering like a schoolgirl. Even in the dim light, they both can still see the coffin lying inside the grave. AIR MARSHAL: Spirit? Whose grave is this? THE SPECTRE pulls out a torch and lights up the tombstone. Though in Aniversian, the text is meant to read: "AMADEUS WARTSON". While AIR MARSHAL spends a while staring at the text, THE SPECTRE pulls back the cloak to reveal that he is DEADEYE. DEADEYE: It be your grave, Ammy. The richest fly-chompin' guy in the Cemetery! DEADEYE knocks AIR MARSHAL into the grave, but he grabs the rim of the pit with his hands. While DEADEYE begins to cackle sinisterly, AIR MARSHAL notices the coffin opening, revealing a world not unlike Hell, with sounds of wailing and moaning coming from within. AIR MARSHAL: (Timid) Deadeye! Please! Pull me up! I'll change my ways! I promise! It is too late, the patches of grass AIR MARSHAL is clutching shake loose, and AIR MARSHAL slowly plummets into the fires of Hell. SCENE TEN Air Marshal's Bedroom, Christmas Morning AIR MARSHAL has tumbled out of bed, and his squirming about in his nightmare, until he awakens and realises where he is. AIR MARSHAL: I'm home! And it's Christmas! He does a merry little jig to realise that he is home. AIR MARSHAL: (Stops dancing) Wait! If that wasn't a dream, then I'd best start doing well before I end up there for good! SCENE ELEVEN The Streets Of Genus AIR MARSHAL, dressed in his best, walks out of his house, wishing everyone "Merry Christmas" as they pass by. Everyone becomes curious to see AIR MARSHAL acting so strange. Before long, he runs into FRIX & FRAX, still wearing their Coldstream-Guard-type uniforms. FRIX: (Squeals) Yipe! Mr. Wartson, sir! AIR MARSHAL: My dear Frix and Frax! I'd like to make a donation to your charity! Put me down for... He whispers the sum into FRAX'S ear. FRAX: (Surprised) That much?! AIR MARSHAL: Not a penny less! (He walks off) Merry Christmas to you both! FRIX: Well, I'll be the son of a lizard! They watch him dancing off down the street, humming "Sleigh Ride" to himself. SCENE TWELVE The O' Hare Bungalow AIR MARSHAL arrives with an enormous vegetarian Turkey in hand. He places it in a burlap sack before knocking on the door. BUCKY: (Opens the door) Mr. Wartson, how can I help you? AIR MARSHAL: Admiral O' Hare, I made it clear that you were to show up at work this morning. BUCKY: But, Sir, you gave me the day off! AIR MARSHAL: I won't take any more of your excuses, O' Hare, and therefore, I'm prepared to raise your salary! BUCKY: Now, wait a...what? AIR MARSHAL: Yes, O' Hare, raise your salary, and help to reconstruct your Mansion on Warren. I'm also prepared to change the company name to "Amadeus & Bucky" if you feel OK about it. BUCKY: A business partnership? This is all so sudden, sir! AIR MARSHAL: It's Christmas, Mr. O' Hare, and it's taken me all this time to find my feet about it. As a little present, I hope that your family can manage this entire Turkey for your dinner. He pulls out the vegetarian Turkey, BUCKY'S eyes widen at the size of it. AIR MARSHAL: (Smiles) Merry Christmas, Bucky! THE END